I don't understand people who refuse to date outside their race because they want...?

Question

their kids to look like them. Why does it matter if their kids look like them or not? I take slight personal offense, considering I am mixed.

I've actually spoken to some people who refuse to intermix because they want racial purity in their kids. They aren't outwardly racist though.

Where do you live? The US South? I live in the UK, and I'm a huge mix of ethnicities (my pic is linked in the other thread) but I don't experience too much racism here.

I really don't care about them being sexually attracted to me. It's just the idea of "racial purity" is offensive if you are mixed. It basically insinuates that any mixed person is scum because they aren't pure. It doesn't deal with attraction.

Answer 1

Date whom you want. I'm white, and I'm biased against fair skin. But that's just me, -in what I find (less) 'attractive'.

And yes, (pretty much) all 'black' Americans have white in them. So why don't they embrace that side of them??

Answer 2

Mostly, it is ignorance. People back in the days of the civil war had the belief that "mixing" was irreverently wrong although you will find that "mixing" started exactly during that time. So someone did not practice what he preached.

I am mixed. My current husband is a Muslim and we will have a child who will be mixed. We still want our kid to look like one of us. It has nothing to do with color for these people who make the decision not to have children outside of their race and some of it could be to keep their heritage the way it is. Black people do the same thing. For all the reasons passed on from generation to generation on why not to mix genes, it is losing virility. There are many mixed people in my children's generation. So don't take offense. In years to come, we will have more intermingling taking place and our children may not have to worry about what "race" he or she is. Everyone will be "other." :)

Answer 3

there could be many more reasons as to why they do not want to date outside their race. I do not usually date outside my race ( I am white) No I am not racist it is purely based on attraction, location and education. I live in Vermont..we are not exactly swimming in diversity over here (location) I am not attracted to most black, Italian, red haired men, Not to say there hasn't been a black man I was attracted to there have been some and a few I dated. I do however love Indian men and actually prefer them over white men..but then that goes back to my location. Now education, If you are not educated I am not a teacher and I do not waste my time, no matter what race a person is.

As to you taking offense that is your fault, it may not be personal but you are making it personal. Yes they may not be going nuts for your specific race but who cares? If a black man didn't like me sexually because I am white then I would assume my specific features do not fit his criteria for a beautiful woman. Not much I can do to change that so I move on big freaking deal.

Answer 4

I am white and live in US (Texas) I was raised to not date out of my race. However even if I wasn't raised that way I still would not. I am part native american indian also. I even before I started disliking most blacks,..I never saw them as attractive. I was raised that mixed children are the ones who pay for their parent's mistakes. From what I was taught is that blacks don't completely accept mixed and neither does the whites. It is a sad thing indeed. I hope this answer is honest enough for you. I don't know how else to put it in words. As far as taking it personal,.... I don't believe it is a personal offense. And if it feels personal to you then maybe it is a sign that black/white shouldn't mix. Imagine,...don't you think other mixed children will feel the same way.

Answer 5

It is just plain racism? Is it in their customs and traditions to date/marry within their own culture only - there is a such thing as arranged marriages in certain cultures. It happened years ago in my aboriginal culture but not today's age.

I have lots of mixed blood too. Sometimes I think pretty are very narrow minded, alienated or isolated from being friends with other cultures. When I get upset, I begin to think sometimes that people were not given time to think on their own, explore or grow up on their own. Too much influence by peers/parents.

I see aboriginal people against their own people too, it all boils down to upbringing and beliefs in life. I have seen an aboriginal women call down their own race. Their children were not dating, living with or marrying aboriginal women.

In some cases, I have studied certain behaviours in people where certain family members think alike - to me it is an adult children of alcoholics thing. Adult children of alcoholics tend to have a co-dependency on opinions of other people and can be very easy influenced.

Also, to me it is whether you have it as a culture or you don't to marry out of your culture which I do respect, it boils down to beliefs. I have seen couples divide even with 4 children because the man was suppose to marry someone in his culture. The man went back to this country and married another lady in India. The 4 children were called the devil's children by the man's family phew! I don't know what would be wrong or right with this scenerio.

Each culture has it's own values, customs and traditions. There is all sorts of people that make up this world, where they follow tradition, people not being comfortable in their own skin is very sick to me and sometimes life is a mystery in figuring out certain people on their certain attitudes.

To me the real love and acceptance for who I am as a person would be number one, I would never date anyone so narrow minded. One fine day, real attitudes show up on people. It is better you know the real person today than find out about them much later.

Being aboriginal one time, this one rich white boy gave me his phone number and each time I phoned, his Mother said the wrong number. Sometimes, I wonder what could've been or might have been.

Answer 6

It is usually simple bigotry. Or fear of societies cruelty. My sister is mixed. I am not. However, I see beauty in all of God's creations. I have seen beautiful black people and beautiful white people and every shade in between. I think it would serve us right if God were to make us all blind so we would have to go by what a persons character is instead of what the exterior looks like.

Answer 7

i live in the south and was brought up not to mix our heritages, like alot of people here. there are some beautiful people who are mixed, but in our family, we have not done that. different backgrounds and cultures pose to be problem, for one thing. different views and beliefs and religious issues, etc. i like lot's of people. as long as they are good to me, i don't care what color skin you have. if you have a good heart, that is what matters.

Answer 8

Because it's a known fact that mixed kids generally grow up angry and somewhat confused, partially due to the fact that they don't know who to identify with--when they're with their schoolmates. Let's take a child who's Black/White, for example. This child is considered white by black children and considered black by white children. And it never helps that the families of said children can't relate to the child either.
I've seen this situation countless times.
I said the same thing with my son who's 100% black. I dread the day when he starts noticing girls because I already know that he's going to be more attracted to White girls than girls that are Black. Part of it is him growing up in California. Fortunately, he's moved to Texas where he's around friends and school mates who are Black like himself.

Answer 9

When I was pregnant...the thing I wished for was for my son to look like me. I know this is selfish, but I wanted to him to have my family looks. ( we all look alike and I'm proud of our heritage ) My son's dad was just fine with this because he knows his genes are in there too!! I really hope you're not just talking about blacks and whites. I have friends who are Italian and they refuse to date anyone who isn't Italian. It's their own preference...and they shouldn't be damn because they want to carry on with it. Don't take an offense to any of this...who people date, marry, or have kids with is their own personal preference. you can not change who others prefer to date/mate with.

Answer 10

It isn't because they want their kids to look like them, that is stupid. It is because they will be persecuted for it by society, they will be harassed and threatened with their lives.