ok i got linked up with this guy. in a nutshell he was/is married (in the process of being divorced). why do i feel like it's my fault? he didn't leave her for me because she filed for the divorce. it had nothing to do with me and they were already on the end when i came along. should i feel bad? could me being around have stopped him from trying to make it work? i love him to death and i told him that if he really loves her and wants to be with her then he should go and try and make it work. he said if she wants one, then he'll give it to her. why am i feeling weird?
2006-12-10 00:19:34 · 14 answers · asked by flacadiaz4eva 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are no kids involved and they were married for almost 3 yrs. She said she is leaving him because she feels like she was rushed into it and it wasn't thr right decision. I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he makes it MORE THAN CLEAR that he wants to be with me. he loves me.
2006-12-10 01:05:59 · update #1
Your conscience is telling you that you did something which is wrong. You have to look back and analyze what you have done. Go by your conscience.
A marriage is a commitment to stay exclusive and it shall remain so until they are legally separated. You did not respect that exclusivity, so your conscience is prickng you. What would you say if the same thing happens to you after marrying him? You should have stayed away until he got his divorce. How come you fell for a married man when there are so many eligible bachelors in the world?
2006-12-10 06:46:11 · answer #1 · answered by StraightDrive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart your feeling weird, Because he is not telling you the truth. You should ask him why is she divorcing him? People don't just get divorced for nothing. He make it sound a bit to easy. Women divorce men for one or two reasons. First- If he is having a baby by another woman, Or money, or cheating. You see young lady women will put up with a lot when it comes to a man. But men on the other hand won't put up with a lot when it comes to a woman. They just go out and get another one. Where as women will try to make it work. Men will just say okay. But if there are children involved then men won't let go so easy, Because a lot of men do love their children, And some times more then their wives. So ask him. But you have nothing to feel guilty about as long as you didn't go behind her back in order to get her man.
2006-12-10 08:40:55 · answer #2 · answered by omegarussell42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure the feeling is guilt or uncertainty? I agree with Jim B., this guy is on the rebound and it doesn't make for a great relationship. You are doing a noble thing by allowing him to make-up his mind and not pushing him to be with you. I think you are a pleasant distraction for what is going on in his life at the moment. Since he is the one being rejected, you may be filling a void for him right now, and his feelings may not be as genuine as he or you may think. I am not saying that he is intentionally using you, but he could possibly be keeping you around until she makes up her mind. You are a caring person, don't let him take advantage of this in anyway. You must think of yourself also!!! Best of Luck!!
2006-12-10 09:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may have influenced him on not trying to make it work with his wife. You should try to give him space right now just because he may need to heal aswell. He probably does not show his true feeling about all of this and I think in the long run you will get hurt. When break ups happen, it seem so much easier when you have someone from the opposite sex to speak to. You may just be a rebound. Good luck!
2006-12-10 08:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by joyall57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you should have left him alone until he left.....Your guilt comes from messing around with a married man...You don't really know why she is getting a divorce, you could be the reason.....You are receiving one side of the story.....
Think about your future with him......If he started fooling are with you when times were tough with his wife, what do you think he's going to do with you?
I think it is really tough to start a relationship out like that because it will be hard to trust a man who was cheating on his wife with you....Do you think he won't do the same to you?
You are dealing with a man who won't communicate to resolve things, he'll go outside of the relationship and cheat....
Remember the saying, "What comes around, goes around" so what you did with him, it will be done unto you....
Trust will never be fully there with you as you are really guilty for messing with a married man....It feels weird as you know messing around with a married man, is wrong and you know in your heart you will be in the same place she was in when you get together with him and possibly get married....
Get prepared for the heartache and pain.....
2006-12-10 17:45:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not your fault, there must have been problems with the relationship before you came along. Don't feel guilty try to be happy together if thats what the both of you want.
2006-12-10 08:24:49 · answer #6 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't believe you should feel guilty but be carefull. Remember, this guy is on the rebound and just getting a divorce, so are you sure he knows what he wants?
2006-12-10 08:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because if they are not divorced you are seeing someone's husband regardless if they were having problems or not you should have waited until he is divorced completely.
2006-12-10 08:31:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u feel guilty because if u weren't in his life, maybe he would have gone back to her and tried to make it work. u have everything in the world to do with it. u only know what he tells u, your hearing only his side of it. yes i would feel very bad about it.
2006-12-10 11:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no need of feeling guilty, if he likes then wats the prob
2006-12-10 08:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by oh its me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋