Can you guys please let me know if you would treat your girlfriend with love, care, warmth, understanding and compassion and then when you get married...keep all those qualities or change? Do you guys believe you can really have a happy marriage...and those of you who are married do you fight a lot or not much and finally would you consider cheating??thanks
2006-12-09 22:26:59 · 14 answers · asked by nat n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The problem really begins with intentions,
Women, dress act and do things they think a man wants, instead of being themself- men do and act the way they are.
When they get married, women think they will change the men to be what they want, while men want women to stay the way they are!
What happens is men do not change and women start being themself, then neither one is happy!
2006-12-09 23:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I treated my girlfriend with respect, love, care, warmth, compassion, and various other boyfriend qualities.
However, some of them faded over time. Some do to the length of time we had been together and others because of becoming an Army soldier.
After marraige, some of these qualities did manage to come back. But since I have been to combat, I have realized what I have done wrong in the past and have tried my best to make up for the things I did or did not do.
As far as cheating...I feel that such an act is for the morally weak or those without a moral code to begin with. So no I would not cheat...Not now - Not ever.
2006-12-09 23:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by kataklysmkamel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is POSSIBLE to have a great marriage, provided that you both are commited to working at making and keeping it that way no matter what. You also have to like, enjoy, value and respect one another, (as in outlook, lifestyles, life views, etc.) not just lust for or having great sex.
It is also necessary to remember that there is always something out there to tempt each of you, no matter what, so you have to make sure you can really keep your commitments to one another and truely see the value of the other person, especially during rough or hard times.
Lastly, I hate to say this, but I think you should really think about staying single. I would also suggest that every man visit the web site, NOMARRIAGE.COM. In my view, as a general rule, there is no gain to the man in marriage whatsoever, only loss. You also have to consider that in this day and time, there is little incentive, especially for a woman, to be a good mate or to give a second thought about what you feel, need, like, want. Her being a terrible or miserable wife/friend/lover to you in most all cases wont cost HER a thing, yet is will almost always cost you plenty. Carefully consider this before you make up your mind.
Never let yourself be fooled. If you hope that the other person will change or grow up or become a better person, or that love will fix things, you are better off just shooting yourself now. If you cant take them, just the way they are and be happy with it, leave it alone.
2006-12-09 23:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will keep all those qualities intact after marriage. As we become older our expressions change and they are not the same as they were when we are younger. Maybe we take things for granted and do not express our love as often as our wives need. I believe in a happy marriage. i am married and we do NOT fight a lot. we have differences and sometimes i lose my cool but we make up very quickly. NO Cheating at all. It is the worst thing for a marriage and i dont want to rock my boat. i realize the contribution my wife makes in my happiness and i would not like to change that. i love her.
2006-12-10 08:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by StraightDrive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have been married 25 years. Did nor change the way I treated my wife from before marriage till after. We did get to know each other a lot better after marriage. We had many more fights after marriage because there are more reasons, children, money etc. We have less fights now our children are grown up and we have more money. I have never had an affair. Have considered it a few thousand times.
2006-12-09 22:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a man but I figured I would answer this. It doesn't matter what other men might tell you or what happens too other men in their marriage. It all depends on you guys and your marriage, if you really love her and your shure you wanna get married then think about right now...not the future. All it is gonna do is stress you out, so take some advice and think about today. If everything is good right now and it has been more good in the relationship than bad.......get married.
2006-12-09 22:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by ™ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is the easiest thing o do when you find that right one. But it doesn't always work like the love novels. If you change to bend to his activities for example he loves photography and loves to get up early to find the best sunrises and you are night owl but during the course of dating shares in this. Then you get married and choose to not get up with him to do his hobby. That is a path of a problem with the relationship. Or if you go into the relationship wanting to CHANGE him. Now that has happen to me and I'm divorce. Cheating is usually not something happy people pursue even unhappy people pursue. The trick is to be honest with yourself and your partner. communication is the key to any partnership.
2006-12-10 00:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think i could keep that, as long as she kept up her end of the bargain. i cant be respectful and understanding towards her, if she cant do the same too me. i believe in happy marriages. i'm not married but i am in a relationship and we do argue alot, and i have never considered cheating, i think its the worst thing you can possibly do, and the least forgiving action anyone can do.
2006-12-09 22:31:49 · answer #8 · answered by John B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no two people are alike in every way --- but if you both have set the scene before you take your vows --- why would you suddenly want to believe you might change ?? or are you getting 'cold feet' after all fighting , cheating wasn't part of your early commitment --- was it ?!!
eternal life with one another is not a prison sentence but if you have any doubt about your future do yourself and partner , favour and knock it on the head . good luck .
2006-12-09 22:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by bill g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well. i woudl say that at the beggining all the love,care,warmth,understanding,compassion and everything is at its strongest but as time goes on, they tend to fall a bit. I still belive that everyoen coudl haved a happy marriage and if you chose to end the fight before it starts. there isno problem at all.
2006-12-09 22:30:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋