We have been together for 7 years and have a beautiful daughter of 3. For the last several months I have not been feeling right. I even contacted an old flame (by email) to see if I still had feelings for him??? My partner is a fab dad and great with housework and a good cook and all my family love him and eveyone who knows him thinks he is funny but he is not romantic and I am feeling unloved. We have discussed this many times but it always ends up the same. We dont really have anything in common but I am scared to leave because of my daughter. What should I do?
2006-12-09 21:14:21 · 10 answers · asked by pinkimmylou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Lawnjesus- He is not a flowers and chocolates guy but he has had his romantic moments, just not many of them!
Jemma T- We have tried the bedroom thing of dressing up but most of the time one of us is too tired!!!
Diane S- I know I should be grateful for what I have but we never have any time for us alone and cannot get babysitters!!!!
2006-12-09 21:59:52 · update #1
You know... I'm sure from his point of view doing cooking and cleaning is a very affectionate (romantic) thing to do for you. Why should he give you roses when you can create wonders in the kitchen? So what if you're too tired to "get busy" as often as you like... that's because you're both doing the right thing and working hard.... it's not exciting, but it's exactly what you should expect with a life partner. It's not that hard to get a baby sitter... all you have to do is post some fliers at the local grocery store or anywhere else you can put a flier. Another option would be to use some sort of daycare service (some YMCA's will offer a child watching service). You really need to do whatever it takes to have that alone time. If you think it's hard to get alone time with your man, then imagine how tough it is to have alone time as a single mom (let alone enter the dating world). Most of all with that alone time that is where you and your partner can relax and let the rest of the world melt away... stop making excuses and find a way to make it work! Not one single problem you brough up would be solved by leaving him for someone else. There has to be something you have in common with him in order to have been with him for 7 years (and to have a child 4 years into the relationship). If you can't get the communication going, the couple's therepy would be fantastic to get the dialogue going. Good luck!
2006-12-09 23:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by Zloar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you need to get some counseling. Counseling does not mean you're screwed up. It is a way to get an impartial third party to help you see the situation in a new light. Marriage counselors don't just tell you to stay in a marriage--sometimes they end up helping a partner decide to leave. But in the end, you will feel that you explored all of your options and made a thoughtful, deliberate decision.
Now, one more thing to think about: a happy marriage is made up of many components, not just romance and love. Other components include friendship, companionship, partnership, helpfulness, support, family relations--the list goes on and on. You really need to consider whether or not your marriage is dead over just one aspect. (That would be like the doctor telling you, "You have a throat infection, so you're going to die.")
2006-12-10 01:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he ever a romantic person? If he wasnt, dont expect him to become that way! If he was once, you may have a shot! You can ask everybody and anybody for their opinion, but what it boils down to, is YOU! YOU have to make your decisions based on whats best for you and or your daughter! No one else can make those decisions for you! Sometimes the right decision is the hardest decision, its tough! Dont sit around for 7 more years and still be in the same predicament! Having nothing in common is tough on a relationship!
2006-12-09 21:23:21 · answer #3 · answered by NIPS® 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A 40 year previous don't have 20ish year previous acquaintances. there is something fishy some guy's adulthood point if he can in straightforward terms relate to those that youthful. you know, there are women human beings accessible who might leave their boyfriends/husbands for much less. i'm particular you have stated this previously with him, and yet he's interested in this self absorbed habit. possibly no longer something's happening, yet I do in basic terms no longer in straightforward terms like the sound of it. If he replaced into soft on your emotions, he does not act in a fashion that brought about you this form of rigidity, yet then i'm residing on your footwear and that i haven't left my husband. Does the stable outweigh the undesirable? confident - then you truly'll might desire to develope a thicker epidermis (take place on the acquaintances' properties once you think your boyfriend is there), or permit him know you opt for a wreck to make sparkling for your self whether the courting is well worth this heartache.
2016-10-14 09:33:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't laugh, but the sexual life is from a great importance. Try to make nice changes in u're bedroom, why not to tempt him with qute
underwear or maybe something more spice... Think about it. U 2 have a daughter people..think for her.
2006-12-09 21:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a great dad....sounds like he is wonderful to you...shares everything...people love him and you've been with him for 7 years....but he isn't romantic so you want to leave....wow....get over yourself....Life is not like a romance novel....that part of the relationship fades over time and you are left with the rest....It sounds to me as if you are a pretty lucky woman that just isn't satisfied with life....you should be thankful for what you have and stop worrying that he isn't the romantic type...something has kept you together for 7 years and your daughter is only 3 so it wasn't her.....think it time you grew up....
2006-12-09 21:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep. come running straight to me.
Are you trying to teach your daughter how to live unhappily? We do teach by example first, ya know.
I gotta go with the tart above me on this one. I wouldn't suggest leaving a good guy, sounds like they a tuff find these days. But I would suggest going for counseling so you can learn how to enjoy the lucky find you've got.
2006-12-09 21:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by Red Winged Bandit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have the seven year itch. You need to go to counseling and attempt to resolve your problems...good luck!
2006-12-09 21:16:21 · answer #8 · answered by frankie3919 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should seek marital counseling first before you decide to change everything.
2006-12-09 21:16:45 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 year itch my friend... 7 year itch...
2006-12-09 21:16:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋