I have fallen head over heals in love with a woman who is married and has children. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing on my mind as I drift off to sleep at night. We talk on the phone almost every day. Right now, it is nothing more than an emotional affair, but I want to truly be with her. What do I do?
2006-12-09 20:17:44 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To follow up, please understand that I love her children very much. They are wonderful kids, and I wouldn't want to damage them emotionally.
2006-12-09 20:56:48 · update #1
This is stupid. She has children, maybe happily married. Even if she does want you, she has everything to lose, you nothing. If she was to be with you, how would you like wondering when she's leaves you for someone else.
2006-12-09 20:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by rwhz199 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Well u have already started an intimate relationship with her and you knew then she was married. The only thing u can do is let her know u love her and u do want to be with her but if its never going to work for the 2 of u its time for u to move on. She could always leave her husband for a life with you. But thats something u need to talk with her about. There is never ever an easy way to end a relationship. No matter how its done someone will cry and someone will be hurt. Good luck to u
2016-03-13 05:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are plenty of women out there who are not married. Nice, decent, beautiful single women. Go out there and find one. This woman is showing weak character by having this "relationship" with you. If there is something wrong at home, she should handle it. By avoiding her problems at home and starting something with you, she is being a coward. She needs to grow a spine and do something about this on her own. It's really sad that you have fallen for a married woman. I know how it feels, but you have to do the right thing and say no. If you care about her kids, don't help destroy their family. If you care about this woman, don't help her make a huge mistake. If you have any self-respect, don't allow yourself to be used like this. I'm sure there is a part of you that is ashamed, and you feel that shame for a reason. You can't share this love with friends and family. It's not right. People who are married either have to work out their problems at home, or get divorced, they shouldn't involve other people into their mess. It's selfish. However nice you think she is, that shows that the person she is most concerned with is herself.
2006-12-10 01:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by J. Bunny 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a bibilical scripture in the 10 commandments that states my stance on this issue: Thou shalt not covet.
You are wanting something that is already a possession of someone else.
You flipantly call it an emotional affair---but it's still cheating no matter what you call it.
You ask what should you do? I would cease telephoning this person. You are putting yourself into a position that could unfortuantely have serious consequences for the other party. She has children---she is secure in present situation and if you become a part of this equation she could stand to lose everything including her children and a roof over her head.
Sometimes you think that GRASS is so GREEN on the other side and you want it so bad that you think it would be paradise. Once you and she cross over into that pasture of green you'll find that it's just a facade and it's a pasture filled with cow pies and thistles!
2006-12-09 23:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I am a married woman my self. There have been times when I was tempted to cheat. At those times, I was depressed and lonely. Does she have the same feelings for you? I really would not recommend interfering in a marriage. If she cheats on her husband during difficult times, Will she do the same to you? What about her children? Will they resent you because you are a home wrecker? Just a few things to think about. You might be the one getting hurt in the end. Does she truly love her husband? Is she really serious, or is she trying to hide behind her problems?
2006-12-09 20:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by Linda G 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here's what you do.....and it's not going to be what you want to hear....you need to cut this woman out of your life. No dates, no phone calls, no being friends, get her out of your life, right now. There is no way that something like this can end happily. Do not encourage her to do something that will hurt her kids. If she ever wants to leave her husband it has to be her decision, and you can't help her make it. If she really cared for you, she wouldn't string you along like this, right now, she is being extremely greedy, and selfish. I'm not even going to get into the moral aspects of this because I have no right to throw stones. But I do know this, if you don't put some space between you and her, your heartache is only going to get worse because you will grow to love her more, and loving someone you can't have is a total nightmare. Do yourself a favor, and rip the band-aid off now, because if you leave it on, it will hurt much worse. The odds are stacked against you. Most people who cheat, do not end up leaving their spouse for the person they cheated with. Run!
2006-12-09 20:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Go away , leave her to her family. All that happens is the kids end up getting hurt. No one wins. Everyone (including yourself) ends up getting hurt whether you get with her or not. Would you want someone walking into your life taking your wife and children? Stop the phone calls. If she wants out of her relationship let her do that with her own thoughts ect. Then if you are still around then maybe get together. But remember most times then not once a cheater always a cheater and you could be the next ex.
2006-12-09 20:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by sherbug 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It s not YOUR responsibility to keep this married couples relationship intact, and if she s in an unhappy marriage with her husband, then getting a divorce is better for the kids than staying unhappily together and numerous psychological studies have confirmed this. Sure, there are things they CAN do to try and repair their marriage, but are they DOING THEM? If not, then who the **** cares? If you wanna be with her, and that s an option, then ******* DO IT! GO FOR IT! Don t be a chicken **** with a bullshit sense of morality based on some bullshit ******* Biblical bro-code that says you can t steal a woman aways from a man she s unhappy with. **** that! And as for the worry she might do the same to you, well, she s cheating on her husband because of problems in the relationship. Avoid those problems and you ll probably avoid infidelity.
TL;DR DO IT IF YOU CAN
2016-11-24 03:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Grimm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do, you ask?? BE A REAL MAN! Try that! Listen to yourself, you are not in Jr. High!! It would be one thing if you were gona just piss the husband off, maybe a broken heart...but he will get over it....BUT IN THIS CASE, THERE IS CHILDREN INVOLVED!!!! You have no idea what sh!t like this does to the kids involved! Now I don't even want to say what I think about the woman!! She is putting her kids aside just to get hot and bothered by your phone calls! Both you and her should be embarrassed of yourselves!! She should have done all her screwing around before the kids were in the picture!
Uhh! Think Mr!!!
2006-12-09 20:31:31 · answer #9 · answered by DREAMY 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not good to interfere in a marriage, if she wants to be with you, in time she will if its meant to be.....You are going to ruin a family, the kids relationship with their father....She may regret that you will say something and may not speak to you ever again...You need to back away and leave this relationship alone and heal your heart and move on....
I think she comes to you for emotional support in her marriage....You are taking what she says and interperting it into what you want in a woman....No matter what, move on and find someone who is single as you are headed to a dead end as most married people may cheat, but they won't leave their spouses to be with the other person, but if they do, it never works because in the back of your mind, you won't trust that person.....
I say just stay away and if it is meant to be when she's divorced, if it ever comes to that, then she will find you and then you can be together if she really cares....It seems as this is only your fascination....
Good Luck in moving on...
2006-12-10 11:13:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if you loved a woman and married her? If some man fell in love with her would it be OK for him to just take her from you? There is your answer! Your needs can be met other ways and the illusion that only she can fulfill you is not reality - now grow up and keep looking...
2006-12-09 23:57:20 · answer #11 · answered by Pilgrim 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋