ok today was our 29 wedding anniversy . my husband leaves early this morning with one some of his friends . he was gone for 10 hours .he came home around 9 p.m . well you can imagine when he walked through the door .it was not pretty at all. and when i ask him why he was out all day ,and why he did not spend the day with me .he said oh baby i'll take you out tomorrow. i told him to forget it . i am not going any where with him tomorrow. well he tryed for 4 or more hours to make up with me and all he got was a cold shoulder from me. so am i wrong in thinking he would have shared this day with me ? and please try to be kind with your replys. and before any of you ask no i don't think he is cheating or he has another woman.
2006-12-09 18:52:52 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
brp_13 yes my husband knew it was our anniversery . and he ask me yesterday what i wanted to do and i told him all i wanted was to spend the day with him .we didn't halftto go anywhere just stay home with me watch some tv. i wanted to cook dinner for him . and i did .and yes that made me very angry .he was being dissrespectful of my feelings . and you say its his anniversery to .well he sure didn't act like it was.and know it's not all about me after 29 years with the man i would think that might tell you that i don't keep him at my beck and call.he is his own person and as he showed yesterday he does what he wants to . and he was a total jerk yesterday .i am still very angry at him and probably will be for sometime. but as one person posted forgiveness is the key but can one forget .anyway thanks to all of you who posted replys you all have been very kind and thoughtful in your posts.
2006-12-10 02:43:56 · update #1
To me, it's perfectly understandable that you should be angry with him. It's a special occasion (which by the way, congrads on lasting that long!) and it deserves attention. I honestly think that maybe it's just something with men in general. Some of the things that we see as extra-special, maybe they don't realize how much thought we give them or how strongly we feel about them. I don't think alot of things like that are done purposely and it sounds like if he spent that much time trying to make up for it that he really does care. He should have shared the day with you however. I guess what you should ask yourself is if it's forgivable and really worth being angry over it. Maybe you should let him make it up to you. Being a woman who's been through a failed marriage, I can honestly tell you it's not worth it to carry on a fight. Hope my answer helps...
2006-12-09 19:03:02 · answer #1 · answered by ♫Joshua's~♥~Girl♫ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO, you are not wrong, however there are so many things wrong with what he did it may not be possible to ever let him forget (I did not say forgive) what he did. And I am sorry but tomorrow is not your anniversary. He spent your 29th anniversary with a bunch of guys, HOW DOES THIS MAN JUSTIFY THIS? At the very least you had better gotten a REALLY good ANNIVERSARY
""""""PRESENT"""""""""""""
Why do I get the feeling you are a doormat???? And please do not take me wrong, I am not being mean, I just think you are way too nice to someone who isn't very nice to you...And I'm serious about your anniversary present, if he didnt get you anything or tthe present was lame, then you do something nice for yourself.
2006-12-09 19:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he was being selfish and felt like you guys been together for a while and there was no need for him to hang around the house and do nothing...He just rather be out with the boys and have fun....I think if you would have tried to do something other than sit around the house, it may have been different, but sometimes men put their friends in front of us...
Girlfriend, I can relate to what happened to you....There will be a time he needs you and you explain to him what happened when you needed and wanted him and kindly get your purse and go have some me time.....
2006-12-10 12:25:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think your husband was very disrespective towards you by not spending some time with you on your 29th. anniversary ! He should have put this special day first and his friends should have been secondary ! This obviously was an important day for you, as it should have been for your husband too ! When his birthday rolls around, you should leave for 10 hours or so and see how he likes a taste of his own medicine ! If you do this, I bet he won't forget your 30th. anniversary ! Good Luck.........
2006-12-09 19:26:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He probably forgot the anniversary when he made plans with the guys. He is rotten for doing this, but it is not the end of the world. Let him worry about things for a day or so then forgive him. 29 years is too many to toss away over an issue this frivolous.
2006-12-09 18:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should be hurt. It's natural. It's your anniversary and he showed he didn't care either way.
I would continue with the cold shoulder and let him know you will not tolerate this anymore. If he doesn't start showing he cares then you will think about leaving for awhile. Maybe go to a weekend resort with a g/f or a weekend trip to Vegas or something.
They usually treat you better when you leave to think for awhile, If they really love you that is.
2006-12-09 19:54:51 · answer #6 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did he even remember that it was your anniversary?
Also, he only came home at 9pm. I think the night still could have been salvaged with a movie or dinner. But I assume that you were too angry with him to go out regardless.
Yes, you have every right to be angry, your anniversary only happens once a year, but if he honestly forgot, I guess you can celebrate tomorrow although it will not be the same.
S.
2006-12-09 18:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by S. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow married 29 years!!!!
well the thing is guys always forget about us and don't pay enough attention to the details we care about.
I have only been married for 10 years but I learned a long time ago to LET IT GO.
You are lucky he apologised and tried to make up for 4 hours.
Give him a chance OK, just go out and have fun, there is no time for you guys to fight, just live everyday to the max.
BTW just comparing your husband to mine...Well my hubby never cares about our wedding anniversary, i get no presents for my birthday or xmas or anything.
Hope you guys make up soon.
2006-12-09 19:08:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you ask him to set the day aside, it is his anniversary too, is he not entitled to some rights's also, if you wanted to him to be there, you should have let him know. Or is it all about you. Hence the ball and chain. he is a person an adult treat him like it. Not a slave at your beckon call.
Now that you have added the details, yes if he had other plans he should have let you know,,,you should be angery with him.
2006-12-09 19:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Our life is full of sorrow and disappointments & Hours of happiness in this world or in our life is very restricted, so you should go and enjoy the late wedding anniversy.
2006-12-10 00:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋