Just asked my very critical boyfriend of 2 1/2 years to stop yelling at me and stop scolding me (it's been not stop for several months!) and tell me one thing about me that he likes. That was an hour ago. Just called him to find out what the thing that was good about me is...and he hadn't come up with anything! Why is that? Why would he stay with me if there's nothing he likes about me?
2006-12-09 18:33:54 · 11 answers · asked by Candy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wolfie - I hadn't thought about that! You're pretty smart! Not coming up with an answer is another way of punishing me and making me feel bad about myself! Thank you so much for that!
2006-12-09 18:48:43 · update #1
CleverGirl - I am 34 and he's 41. He's scolding me for alot of things! He doesn't want me working but makes me beg for grocery money. He doesn't want me running a local 12 step group but was cruel when I was using. He doesn't want me babysitting for my family even though he's on the road and I'm not busy. Things like that.
2006-12-09 18:52:36 · update #2
Dump him!
I know 2 1/2 years is a long time to invest in a relationship, but dump the loser now before you invest any MORE time. He's mean.
2006-12-09 18:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by bestfriendthemom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs a life..... and you might too.
If all he can do is yell and scold then he some issues (real or imaginary) and they are interfering with this relationship.
Some people stay with another person out of a mutual attraction.
Some people stay with another person out of fear of being alone.
Some people stay for the sex, or the kids, or the mortgage.
As far as his not answering you, he is still 'scolding you' by not answering more than likely. He feels some measure of control over you by doing what he is doing for some reason.
Get your life back, or failing that.... gain control of this situation.
Switch tactics.... guys are not as emotional as gals for some reason (probably because we eat 'Cheerios' instead of 'Life').... take the upper hand in this by doing something has is forced to react to. Let him stew and wait for him to call.....
If he does there is hope for the future between the two of you.
If he doesn't, then think about your options for the future...
2006-12-09 18:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by wolf560 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is he scolding you for? I assume you're not a child even if you're under 18. Not to be rude but, maybe you should ask yourself what you like about him. There's no reason he shouldn't have an answer to your question. Honestly, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself, you should get that person out of your life. I've been in relationships like this and I've tried staying with the guy to 'prove' to them that I was good enough and that one day they would be pleased with me. Guess what? That approval never comes because it's the other person with the problem, not you. Sorry if that's not the answer you're looking for but, it sounds like your boyfriend has problems with himself and there's nothing wrong with you.
2006-12-09 18:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there are tons and tons of things he loves about you, but guys are guys and they aren't very descriptive. I've done this little game before and my boyfriend (of 3 years) was like, "uhhh...I don't know...you're...cool." That's just the way guys are. Girls are much more verbal! I wouldn't worry about it.
However, I would worry about the fact he has been "nonstop yelling at you" and worry even MORE about the "scolding" part. What the hell? He doesn't have the right to yell or scold you, especially for months at a time. You need to have a serious talk with him. Work out whatever he has a problem with...apologize, try and change, but explain to him that you are not his daughter and he can't yell at you.
Best of luck!!
2006-12-09 18:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by Kristina 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry. Guys are just not good at describing ANYTHING involving matters of the heart.
We girls are really good at it but I have NEVER known a guy that could answer that question for me either!
I know. We do it EASILY so it's hard for us to understand why THEY can't come up with a list. They just simply can't.
They know they love us but they just can't put it into words.
Asking them is torture for them.
He loves you. I know he does. He just can't figure out why and even if he could, he couldn't put it into words.
It's really quite funny.
Here's what I did one time and it worked......
I wrote a list of yes or no questions and gave him an oral exam. If you give them a simple yes or no questionaire type test, they do a lot better in answering you.
It is the ONLY way you can find out what you need to know.
Try it! You might be pleasantly surprised!
But geesh. Make it simple. They get easily confused. LOL.God knows I love men but this kind of thing is not their forte.
Go easy on him or he could have a melt down out of frustration, just trying.
2006-12-09 18:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Molly 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is a loser! You really love someone u shouldnt even have to think a second, you should be able to know it as if it were a fact!!!!! I already found something cool about you and i dont even know you.... You seem really down to earth, just for asking a real open/honest question!!! Stay true!~
2006-12-09 18:37:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Yahoo 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the reason is that He knows you look up to him for comfort and love,and it makes him feel good so he has a hold on you.I think that he is the one with the selfconfidence issue.
2006-12-09 18:37:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's with you because he is shallow. Maybe he is destracted but guys also know that women might get mad at their answer even if it's a very good one.
2006-12-09 18:36:43 · answer #8 · answered by A. Tarayana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kiss him goodbye.
What's the point being in a relationship with someone who isn't happy with you!?
2006-12-09 18:39:08 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT IS YOUR &%##@ HE LIKES AND THAT IS ALL BUT HE IS NICE AND DOESN'T WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH.BE THANKFUL BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE THAT YOU WOULD BE USELESS.
2006-12-09 18:43:08 · answer #10 · answered by Lou S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋