He lied about certain details concerning his marriage (they are now divorced). I wish he could have told me the truth but he says the past belongs in the past and he doesn't want to discuss it. It wasn't anything bad just complicated stuff about his ex-wife being a lesbian. I feel like he should be able to talk about it. I don't know why he lied in the first place. I feel really hurt and betrayed. Am I over reacting?
2006-12-09 18:12:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here is a thought, maybe he is embarrassed that his wife left him for a woman,or, discovered she was a lesbian after they were married, either way it could be kinda emasculating for a man. I say give him some slack on this one!
2006-12-09 18:33:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not over reacting!! if you have a relationship with this man then you deserve the truth. I have been there don't make the same mistake as i made 12 years later he was still lying about his ex and family and i agree with you it hurts like hell. nip it in the bud now tell him to alway tell you the truth or it's over. Good luck
2006-12-10 02:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are over reacting. Think about it, his ex-wife was a lesbian. She preferred women over him. Come on now, think about it. What went on between him and his ex is really none of your business. Do you tell him "everything" that you've done in the past? If you do, I warn you, not a good idea.
2006-12-10 02:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting at all. A loving committed relationship to me is based on honesty and if you don't have that then you really don't have much. As for the past is the past to me that is total bullshit.
People should learn to be honest and then maybe we would have better loving relationships.
Peace and happiness
2006-12-10 02:45:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just a little can you image how he felt when he realized what his wife had been doing behind his back.He is embarrassed to talk about it to anyone.When he said the past is the past that is what he meant.He knows what people really want to no and that is what want on in the bedroom and that is something he won't talk about because it isn't anyone business. Not even yours.I'm not saying that to be mean so please don't take it that way.
2006-12-10 02:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset about this...
However, I would not dump the guy over it just because he didn't tell you about certain things.
Sometimes the guy just cannot talk about it - it could be a sore subject.
Best is to give him time to come out with it without bending out of shape over it.
2006-12-10 02:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its ok u feel hurt or betrayed. but sometimes they just have this lying habit they dont even realise they do it. m ex was like that. but. but but but.. if he lies on purpose... maybe his reasons r acceptsable. then u should give him a chance. everybody deserves a second chance.. but if for u his reasons r unacceptable. then its time to say byebye! good luck.
2006-12-10 02:22:24 · answer #7 · answered by jzen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relationships are trust, you need the truth, the whole truth about the past before you can make any stakes on the future. maybe he still holds a torch for her if he wont tell you the whole truth.
2006-12-10 02:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL yes you are!! his manhood was hurt and you are p*ssed at him for not telling you the truth about it? what gives you the right to force him to open up old scares. i think you should get slap up side the head for being so closed minded about it, and second at least he divorced her, he could have been still married to her and sleeping with you.
2006-12-10 02:43:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jeffery B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys dont process stuff.....well like....women. Only he knows his perspective. Tell him what your feeling. If he stares at you and starts to drool, its time to say goodbye. If he can come up with a somewhat coherent response keep working with him.
2006-12-10 02:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by Kathryn W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋