I went through a very bad marriage, and returned to my native country to be in a safer environment. I have had a baby boy since. Now my sister in law is visiting the country....well not exactly me but a whole host of relatives. One of her agenda is to return some petty stuff from the wedding( on my husbands behalf)....to make a point that they dont owe me anything more...and of course see the baby.
Through out the marriage she maintained a very cordial/neutral stance....and finally did tell me that I made mistakes and it was upto to me to have kept the marraige.
I am not upto it to be magnanimous and meet her with a hug exactly. Infact I wouldnt want to see her as the divorce is coming throught this month itself.
What is good etiquette in this case ?
2006-12-09 18:11:25 · 9 answers · asked by eyecan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, she was wrong to blame the bad marriage on you, it takes two to make a marriage work. Since she's being petty and cruel by making statements like that it shows she's not exactly upset about you not being her sister in law anymore. If you want to meet her go for it. I wouldn't meet her with hugs, but I'd let her ooooo and ahhh over the baby, maybe even give her some pictures. After all he's going to have her for an aunt for the rest of his life.
On the flip side, if you don't want to meet her don't. Tell her your ex can mail the stuff to you, or she can. Your son is the one with the ties to that family, not you, so you don't have to punish yourself by seeing her.
2006-12-09 18:25:03 · answer #1 · answered by snickers12121488 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be conveniently busy when she wants to see you. Don't let her see the baby either. You don't owe her anything either. Have a friend of yours at your place when she drops off the items and explain that you had to go out and took your baby with you, and will not be returning soon,"So sorry," maybe next time she happens to be in the country.
2006-12-09 18:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by bestfriendthemom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say be polite. Don't let the way she is acting determine how you act towards her. Be the better person and treat her as if there isn't a rift between you. After she leaves, scream into your pillow or find a way to vent. BTW, keeping a marriage is up to two people and I am sure he made mistakes as well. No one is perfect.
2006-12-09 18:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kristen H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So this woman is your childs aunt? Perhaps you could make the visit quite short, or make her a quick coffee and keep going about your chores while she has a visits with the baby. Then say you have to go out someplace (make sure it is a place you have to take the baby).
2006-12-09 18:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to meet up with her at all. remember she's " X " If it's not too late, say you'll be out of town. No need to let her drag you thru the mud at this point in time. What etiquette are you concerned about here ?
2006-12-09 18:24:52 · answer #5 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A handshake is always acceptable, and if you happen to be holding your child, a nod and a smile.
Holding your new child is a perfect way to say, "here is the child I wouldn't waste my DNA on with your brother." : )
Then just spend a short time exchanging pleasantries (any check-ups you need) and do the exchange. No reason to extend it to something uncomfortable or cut it too short.
2006-12-09 18:20:16 · answer #6 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt be concerned with eitquette. But rather, would go out of my way to ignore her......and ensure that she does NOT see your baby. You owe her NOTHING. She doesnt belong in your home. She's no longer part of your family. And no reason to be cordial to her.
2006-12-09 18:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You OWE HER nothing, screw ettiquette....I wouldnt see her or any other member of his family until divorce was final.
2006-12-09 18:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to meet up with her, don't. It's as simple as all that. You don't owe her a thing.
2006-12-09 18:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋