I have this moral problem. MY daughter's mother in law is a thief and liar and adruggie, big time?

Question

She has been jailed for most of her adult life because of it. Now she has been released from prison, its winter, and she has decided to move in with my daughter, son in law ans their children. However, she continues to steal, and lie, and is eventualy going to get caught again. They can't very well turn hrout in the middle of winter, as much as they would love to. The big problem is that I babysit for them, and she makes no bones that she should be doing so, since she feels she needs the money more. She has started doing mean, spiteful things to me and the oldest chld, since he isn't her grandchild. ( Today, she threw a hard plastic toy at me, just missing my head) Should I call the police and report her theft again, bringing them to my grandkids home, or should I just let it go until she does something serious enough tohave her charged with assault?

She is not on parole, they don't even bother any more, since every time she was given it in the past shejumped. as the apartment thing, we did that, after the son kicked her out for doing crack in his bathroom, and she got evicted within a month for having parties. We even found her 3 jobs in the past 9 months. The only reason that she was allowed back at their house was because it was -45 out and the cops actually dropped her off since the shelters were full. she was only supposed to stay until it warmed up, now won't leave. My grandson, who is only 5, knows that what she is doing is wrong, and has actually told me he hopes she goes back to jail because he is afraid she is going to steal his presents from Santa.
To the person that asked, my daughter won't even accept a jug of milk from the woman, knowing it was stolen.

Answer 1

Get her locked up. Get her out of the kids lives! Trust me on this...Been there, done that. You cannot have an addict involved with your family. You MUST take action. I have seen way too many families, including my own destroyed by this kind of stuff. I wish you luck and strength.


Please read the following link....it may help you.
http://whatwillcome.blogspot.com/

Read "But it's a disease"

Answer 2

She sounds like a real piece of work. I just can't understand why your Daughter has allowed her to live with her. And yes, if it comes to your children's welfare, as they come first, you don't allow a miscreant like that into your house, no matter what the circumstance are period. Here's the thing though, she is going to screw up again, and she will be back in jail shortly. Ever thought of talking to her Parole Officer if she has one and expressing your concerns to her.
PS, this is not a moral problem, as it is not immoral to turn in a criminal, it is immoral not to.

Answer 3

If she just got out of prison, she is on parole. As such, she can go back very easily for doing something like threatening you or assaulting you. In California and some other states, criminal threats is a felony. All you have to do is threaten someone with bodily injury. In California, it is even a strike offense.

But what do you do? Do you risk your relationship with your son-in-law, daughter, and grandchildren? Well, you have a responsibility to your grandchildren and your daughter (and to your son-in-law to some extent). So you may have to do something that puts you in the doghouse for a while. If she is doing drugs and has drugs at your daughter's house, will your daughter be blamed by the cops for it? Will your g-kids get into the drugs and have a bad reaction? Will your g-kids emulate her someday and get into drugs or thievery themselves?

If someone's safety is really at stake, you need to call the cops. Barring that, you need to speak with your son-in-law. He isn't going to like what you have to say. He's going to argue with you. But he's the man of the house. Obviously, you have to speak with your daughter also, but you may want to confront the son-in-law alone to avoid any embarrassment for him. (I will bet that the son-in-law has been embarrassed by his mother for year and years.) He has a responsibility to his kids and step-kids. He has a responsibility to his wife and even to you. He needs to reign in his mother. When you confront him, you need incidents, dates, and times at your fingertips or else he'll just rationalize it. If he's weak, tell him how you'll help him cope with this. Come up with some good solutions together. Perhaps you can help her to go live in an apartment alone. Is it going to cost you some money? Oh, yeah, but what's better? Your safety and the safety of your g-kids and daughter or your money?

Also, presumably, parole is testing her for drugs. She won't last long if she's doing drugs regularly, so she may be gone soon.

Another solution may be to have the kids come to your house when you babysit (but I hate it when my Mother insists that my kids come to her house for that, so make that part of your dialog that you'll have with your son-in-law and daughter).

You have a major, major problem. You cannot solve it yourself. You need help from the whole family and should consult them. But, ultimately, you may need to act yourself if things get too bad. Often times, doing the right thing is hard. Of course, knowing what the right thing to do is is even harder. Good luck.

Answer 4

of course... you should always report a problem to protect yourself... her problem could be mental and no one is paying attention to that and instead are attacking her or perhaps rejecting her.
So my point is: try to show compassion and some kind of love but stay away, always tell the truth and factsm, most of all do not separate your daughter from her mother...

I hope you got my point

good luck

Answer 5

you should be b-itch slapped for not calling police on your son for child endangerment