Attn Happily Married or Divorced?

Question

To the happily married - how did you know he/she was the right one for you? And how did you make that huge commitment to getting married at all??!

To the divorced - what was the main problem? Did you think he/she was the right one at the start or was it another reason like didn't want to be lonely, couldn't say no, etc?

Please be honest but no pressure - just as much as you like to talk about. If you'd rather not post in public, my email is [e-mail]

Thanks!!

Answer 1

Divorced, caught her in bed with someone else because I came home from work sick one day. I had no clue. Sex life was good and she even acted like she loved me. Boy, was I wrong....

Answer 2

Well, I am not married yet, but I am in a long relationship with my man. We have decided to do that thing they used to do in the old days.

You know, get to know each other before we marry.

We have been together for almost 2 years, and yes we want to get married, but we want to make sure we are going to stay married and not divorce.

Him and I didn't know when we met that we were going to end up together this long. It was a blind date to begin with.

We just got to know each other and fell in love.

It has been almost 2 years and I still look at him everyday and get butterflys in my tummy. We say I love you very often, and even have a very active sex life for being together for so long.

I am 23 and he is 25, we aren't rushing into anything.

Thats how I think it should be. Who wants to get divorced a lot of times?

I don't. :)

Answer 3

I am happily married, and have been for almost 11 years now. I met this guy on a BBS, and called him to talk to him. The second time I tried calling, another guy answered and said that he wasn't home. This guy asked if I wanted to talk to him, and I said no and goodbye. Later (not the same day), I apologized to him, and we became friends. We started talking more and more. However, one night we talked for 6 1/2 hours on a school night. The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew he was the right one for me. I followed my heart, and went for it. I asked him if he would like to be my boyfriend, and he said yes. He said he couldn't stop thinking about me that same day. Later on in life, when I turned 18, I moved in with him. He and I kept on saying would you marry me, but for a week we kept on backing off because we were both afriad of commitment. Until one day, when we were laying down in a manufactored home (one of those homes that are the lot for people to look inside...no we weren't doing anything naughty) my husband asked the question, and I said yes. Before we could back down, we called a taxi cab, and went to the courthouse, and got married. That was the best day of my life, and I am still happily married. That is my story, and there are different types of stories. You won't know for sure if you have the right person...you just have to take that chance. If you feel like you can live with this person forever then they are meant to be.

Answer 4

My husband have been together for 5 years *happy anniversaray yesterday* and married 2 1/2. We just fit right. Its a confident feeling that weve always had together. We laugh all the time and I think that is VERY important. We are equals, not one of us is more important or better than the other. I do dishes, he does dishes, I work all the time, he works all the time. We are friends more than anything, I think thats a cornerstone in a good marraige. How can you live together forever if you arent even friends? We constantly go to each other for advice or to vent or to be silly with. We are best friends. I think if you have the right feeling about your relationship anyway then its not really a huge commitment.. if you already love that person with all you have then you are already commited, marraige just becomes paperwork at that point.

Answer 5

My main problem in my marriage was my ex-husband's devotion to his first ex-wife. I understand wanting to be there for the kids, but every time she called, to drop what we had planned and go running over there. We had quite a few fights and a divorce to go along with it. I have to say that we actually get along better now then we ever did when we were married. Before we got married, I thought he was the right one, but I guess I was wrong. I just hope that wife #3 is the right one. Its not fun watching the kids go through this again and again.
Hope this is the answer you wanted.

Answer 6

you just have to have courage & not be a scaredy cat to get married

& to keep a marriage running smooth so you don't get divorced
maintain it like you would a car
treat her the same as when you first met her
you used to let her talk
you used to listen to her
well let her talk & listen to her
do small things for her when she asks you like you used to
not hours later
& no calling her a nag when she repeats asking you to take the rubbish out etc
tell her she is pretty & you love her etc & not only at bed time
don't ignor her when she speaks to you
if you are busy NICELY say I will listen later sweetie but not now !
not the WHAT ARE you RAVING ON ABOUT ??etc(LOL)
you see men if you kept up all the nice stuff she would be so loving to you
she would even let you have your outings with your mates once a week if you asked & go to sport etc
but men change & act different & think well i'm here aren't i so she must know i love her (wrong) we need to hear it & feel it

Answer 7

I was happily married, I met him in high school and believed he was the only one for me. Well lack of communication and lots of misconceptions on both of our parts all let up to his decision to have an affair. Now we are going through a divorce and he is sick about it. He is doing everything he can think of to make this work but now it is to little to late.

Answer 8

I knew I could tell her anything and that she could also confide in me. In any relationship, communication is the key! We went on to share happy times and were there for each other during sad times. At the time of marriage there are always some jitters. That might be why they call it "taking the plunge!" It's the best thing I ever did. Soon it will be 22 years and we are still happy.

Answer 9

Happily married, well thats a toughie. Marriage is a huge committment and i think its a whole new job, one that you work on every single day. You just have to do it, jump into it--but of course only if it feels right, that 'gut feeling' not the 'heart feeling'.

Answer 10

My husband and I just got married. We have known each other since 3rd grade. (We started dating the begining of our senior year) and we havent a night apart since. We have the same goals in life and tend to think the same way. We are not controling of each other. We are best friends. We never argue when we are mad. We wait until we have calmed down and talk things out.