I am a 1st time mom. My son is 10 months old. I am not really cut out to be a stay at home mom, I am counting down the days to where I can resume my college education & getting a job again. I can’t honestly handle this infant stage. I have done the best I can. He is healthy & extremely happy, but I feel trapped. It’s not that I don’t want him, but I want to be able to feel like a real person again. My husband was overseas fighting & I have dealt w/ this alone. As the days pass I find myself falling into a deeper and deeper depression. I fear that I will never accomplish my goals & that my life is over.
Has anyone else gone through this and how did you get past it? Is there hope?
2006-12-09 16:34:46 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Hello. I am a military spouse too. I know how you feel-my husband was a recruiter in Fargo, ND, when two of our children were born and he was only home to sleep. I am also the mother to four children, and have been in your shose. Do you live near a base? If so, have you checked on Day Care on base? Most bases do hourly, part-time, and full-time day care. There are also people that do day care in their homes. The cost is not near as much as out in town. Maybe you could find a way just to get a few hours to yourself.
As far as college, I went to college online. It meant that I had my own 'thing' but didn't have to leave the house. Just another idea.
Bottom line, your life is not over. In fact, you have somebody else that is going to add to your life. You can still do whatever you want. (I am currently attending Grad School).
Please contact me if you would like.
2006-12-09 16:50:44 · answer #1 · answered by jrstina624 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my first child at the ripe age of 20. It was very hard I was a junior in college and I was working. I was not married but I had become a single parent when I was 4 months along. I had to sacrifice friends, family and some my education. I worked during the day and my son would be in daycare and for a while I felt like I was abandoning my responsiblity as a mom. He stayed at my fathers a night when I started school again. I only saw my son on the weekends. It was hard bu I managed to get thru it. Then I graduated and thought I would get to be the mother I wanted to be. Then I could not find a decent job with hours that the daycare would have. So I joined the Air force and anotherr 4 years was gone from me and my son. When I got out and I was stationed in San Antonio, I had got married and was pregnant with my daughter. Her dad left us and I was a single mother once again and I have been up until 3 years ago. When I divorced my husband I made a vow to get a job the employed me during school hours and I devoted ALL my extra time to BOTH of my kids. Parenting is not easy, right now you are deemed a single parent because your spouse if fighting for our country and I know it has been rough. Keep in mind the thought of all the children who do not have any parents or have arents who don't care for them at all. Is that what you want. Yes education is important and so is family but when you are trying to do both you HAVE to make time for BOTH. Your child will become a better adult knowing that mom was there and he will want to be a better and stronger provider for his children and family if he understands the sacrifices you made for him when he was smaller. So keep your hopes and spirits up and believe that soon this war will be over and your family will be together, until then you have to be the family for your son.
2006-12-09 16:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by choco-vanilla 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand completely. I found myself a single mother of two children under 2.
What I did was went back to school and got a part-time job, I felt human again and I loved it. There was a daycare center at the college so my kids were always near by and I kept them in there while I worked to so they didn't have to go to a different one, I found a part-time job by the school to cut on driving time.
I'm successful in my career setting now with another husband and new baby and I'm happy I made that choice.
You can live again you just have to make it happen, things don't just happen.
There is life out there you just have to find it for yourself.
Good luck!
2006-12-09 17:10:12 · answer #3 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you become a parent, you make lots of sacrifices.
Go out to Mommies Groups and meet mommies there. Or go to a park with your boy, where there's full of kids and introduce yourself to parents and make friends.
2006-12-09 16:38:43 · answer #4 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋