Why do people think that I can't handle a baby?

Question

I may be 15 but I have a wonderful boyfriend who wants to have a baby too! And he has a steady job and gets good money meaning he would be making enough to support baby & I. I mean I may not have a steady job but one of us having one is a good start.And we love each other.We have known each other for 3 years and have been dating for awhile.Emotionally I can handle it as well.I preacticlly raised my 3 cousins and my 2 brothers.I know I can do this.And as for the whole body thing I know the toll it takes espeacially on a teenagers.I did a star project for FCCLA and that was my topic.I have a burning desire to have a child that it makes me wanna scream out of frustration that I dont have one yet. If you want to ask me more questions about anything email me at: [e-mail] I know the risks but I also know the benifits.

Answer 1

so u r 15 & want a baby huh? my,my,my~ well im 31y/o & my daughter is 15 (so trust me been there done that) no i wouldnt trade my baby girl 4 anything, but what about knowing that 1 day u can & will have a baby?? how about loving to go when u want (w/ya'b/f??) how about shopping & being able to spend on you? new clothes,shoes,sneakers all 4 u!! spoil urself pamper urself, love urself, there is nothing wrong with wanting a baby, but i would rather u wanted to enjoy life & want a baby so much that u can live ur life to the fullest & decide that u wont have 1 until u have ur life is in order, there is so much 4 u to do !do it!!! have fun & please enjoy your youth, b/c there is plenty of time to be a mom but right now you should worry lees & be a young lady with plans to do big things for herself & let the people around u know if they r gonna be around they gotta want & do big things as well!!best wishes>>>>

Answer 2

Get your education first. Then you'll realize that you knew NOTHING at 15! You'll probably also realize that your boyfriend at 15 isn't the man you want to be with at 25.

You need to REALLY think about what it costs to raise a child. How much does your BF *really* make annually? What I really wonder is if he makes such great money, how OLD is he? Probably old enough that your mother could have his *** thrown in jail for statutory rape. And as well she should, and I hope she would if she knew that you two wanted to get knocked up and play house!!

Another thing--I noticed your email address...if you're a cutter, you CERTAINLY are in NO place emotionally to be bringing a child into the world!! Get help for that first! To truly love another, you must first love YOURSELF! Cutters DON'T truly love themselves, b/c if they did they wouldn't scar their own bodies.

Even if you're not a cutter I don't think you're emotionally prepared for the aftermath of childbirth. Your hormones are all over the place, you're sleep deprived to the point where you start to hallucinate, and there will be times your baby will scream and you will NOT know what to do! You will feel like an utter failure at times, you will wonder what you were thinking when you decided to get pregnant, and you'll spend the rest of your teenage years wanting to party w/ all of your friends and realize you can't because you have to stay home and take care of your child. When your friends are all hitting the bars at 21, you'll be stuck helping your kid w/ his homework. Which, by the way, will get harder for you as time passes and he advances b/c you yourself won't have above a 10th grade education!

You yourself are still a child--your parents are still fiscally and physically responsible for you, and there's a good reason why you're not considered an adult until you're 18! You need to take that burning desire and put it on the back burner until you really do grow up and mature a little more!!

Answer 3

Look here, i am fifteen also, and i don't have any kids, but i do have a nephew. I love him dearly, but i love being able to send him home to his mom too. I have a friend that had a kid when she was 14, and now she is 19 and has 3 kids. She has never been to a prom, or really had a boyfriend. she has had guys. And that's about it. I know that you say your boyfriend loves you, and i am not saying that he dont', but kids have a way of bringing out the bad in people, and it starts arguments. Babies have a way of breaking people up. I also have done some help around this house of refuge that is in my area. it is a home for young women (and some guys too) that is an alternative to having an abortion. Now just the other day, i saw a girl that was only 11 years old, and she had a child, and i looked at her, and i was like, man, at 11, i wasn't thinking about kids. You really need to think of more than what you and your boyfriend want, and more about the life (you know, the living, breathing, eating type) that you are considering bringing into this world. Like i said, i have a nephew, and i love him dearly, and i don't mind babysitting him for days (sometimes weeks) at a time, but i can always send him home. Think about it. Get a puppy. Seriously though, don't be hasty, be patient.

Answer 4

Because you are still a child yourself and children need to grow up and experience life more before they should make life.
You think you have it all planned out but plans change as people grow, you will see and learn the hard way I see.
I feel sorry for kids like you. You are going to end up a single parent one day and your child will suffer because of your ignorance.
Another good point here is if you can't support yourself then how are you going to support your child, you shouldn't be depending on the b/f too much, especially if he's young to.
What happen to finishing school and going to college, setting a good example for your future child first?
What happens if you b/f decides that it's too much on him to support a family on his own? You will be left on welfare with no job skills and no education, what a role model you will be.
Good luck to you and good luck to the child that will suffer in the future for your mistakes.
Do yourself a favor, finish school first, save money on an after school job or something. Have your b/f save some money out of each paycheck until you graduate, if you are both together still, then you should have enough money to put down on a home for you and him, get married, attend college and start a family.
Don't do it now because doing it later might never be.

Answer 5

I wonder if you really do know the risks. Your sunny attitude makes us think that you perhaps really do not know how hard raising a baby is. Even two adult parents who have babies say that it's hard. So your saying that you don't think it'll be hard shows that you're probably not being realistic.

First, is your boyfriend willing to marry you? Because I think that every baby deserves to be raised in a family by two married parents who love each other.

Second, have you thought about the amount of commitment that raising a baby involves? Because holding a baby is cute for a while, but you're not just talking about having a child when it's a little baby. You'll still have that child 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, 18 years from now. When you start raising a child it's a long-term commitment. If you're only interested in having a baby, but not a 5-year-old or a 14-year-old, you'd better not try to have and/or keep a baby now.

Third, you should be mature enough to be unselfish. Right now your reason for wanting to have a baby now, according to you, is "burning desire to have a child". But when you're a parent you need to think about what's best for the child. Seriously, would it be better for a child to be raised by two adult parents who are established in their lives, or by two teenagers, one of which has a job, but whose salary couldn't be that much considering he hasn't even finished high school. If you really care about children you'll wait to have them until you're a little more able to take care of them. (I actually don't think the mom needs a job; she should take care of the kids. Which puts all the more responsibility on the dad to get a good, supportive job.)

If you're not already pregnant, wait until after you're married. And if you are currently pregnant, consider giving the baby up for adoption. It'll be one of the most adult decisions you ever make.

Answer 6

Sorry - you are much too young. (Yeah, I know you don't want to hear that.) You have your whole life ahead of you. Have fun now. Finish high school. (You need to concentrate on your studies so you can write better.) Go to college. Work at a job or career. When your child goes to school, you will need to know what the teachers are talking about and will need to know how to deal with them. You truly don't know that now.

Babies don't love you. Babies need care and love 24/7. You will never sleep through a night the rest of your life once you have a child.

I got married at 21 and started having kids when I was 24 and love them dearly but wish I would have waited a few more years. At least I had the good sense to be a stay-at-home mom, even though we were desperately poor with only one wage-earner.

What if your bf decides he wants out of the relationship? He's young too and might meet someone down the road.

Are you a cutter? If so, that's all the more reason you should get your life together first before having a child.

Answer 7

so, you know what it's like carrying a child in your womb and the stress it puts on your body...you know how the body changes can make you even more depressed and how you'll probably never look the same again? You know what the pain of labor and childbirth are like, do you? You know the best way to feed and clothe your child and how to deal with the many middle-of-the-night wakings that cause a lot of new mothers to have post-partum depression? You think you can handle being wakened 2, 3, 4, 5+ times in the middle of the night to feed and change your soaked through infant and not be able to catch up on that sleep in the daytime because baby is up then too and wants to be stimulated and needs fed and changed? You know how to best educate your child as s/he grows into toddlerhood, when the backtalking begins and all the "NO!" and "WHY?"s happen and do you think at 17 you'll have all the answers to those questions?
I know there are some people who have children at your age and they do "OK" but few of them say "I'm glad I had my child so early in my life and in no way wish I'd waited until I finished High School"

Answer 8

Are you ready to say goodbye to your life?

Are you ready to deal with a baby all day long everyday with no breaks?

Do you think your boyfriend will be with you forever?

What is making you think you need a baby? Is your parents neglecting you? You say you have raised your cousins -your only 15 and kids that are 3&4 are not raised. You were only babysitting.

You really need to think this over big time. Your life will be put on hold for 18 plus years. Are you willing to do this?

You have your whole life ahead of you and you have 25 years to have a baby so why now?

You may think you can handle it but how do you really know that for sure?

Are you just wanting to have a baby to try to hold your boyfriend to you? That does not work at all. Some people thinks well if i have a baby with him he will stay with me but that is not true. I know plenty of people that have more than 1 kid and that didn't hold their men to them.

I know i am not you and i can't decide for you but you really need to think about this before doing what you are thinking about doing.

Answer 9

you have your whole life ahead of you to have children. grow up first, enjoy being a child yourself or young adult whatever you want to call it, and have kids when you are out of your parents house, responsible, with a full time job--#1 about having kids DON'T count on someone else to support you and a child, you have to ALWAYS be responsible and independent enough to take care of your child(ren) alone. you need to stop trying to grow up so fast. having a child is not going to fix the problems in your life, meaning a child isn't going to fullfill the loving feeling you are hoping that it might. a project for FCCLA and an actual baby for you to take care of 24/7 is WAY different. if not having a baby makes you want to scream then scream to your heart's content because having a child would be a mistake. if you like children etc volunteer at a children's center, get a job at a daycare, or start a babysitting service. talk to your guidance counselor about having a child.

Answer 10

I just wanted to tell you my opinion in reference to you having a child.You probably are more mature than the average teenager since you have had responsibility in helping to raise your cousins and brothers however there is a big difference in having one and helping one to raise kids.First of all when you have a child it is totally your responsibility to raise it as opposed to helping raise your brothers and cousins.Also two of the main thing you have to look at are money and education.You can't be a good mother if you can't educate your child when you don't have the education to help you answer the childs questions,help with homework etc.I don't doubt that you are mature enough but with no income from either one of you how will you pay the bills,diapers,food,rent,etc?Just being willing to get a job, is not the same as having one.And there aren't many if any jobs out there that pay enough for a family to live off of ,that will hire a young person with no education.Eventhough you and your boyfriend are serious,take your time and get some education so that when you do have that child you will be able to be there for him in all ways.If you and your boyfriend are serious, waiting a few years won't make a difference.One last thing being as young as you are you need to get ou and have some fun of your own,learn about things and not be tied down with a major responsibility.You are going to want that child to be proud of you and able to ask you things that at this point you do not have answers to.You are young live a little and enjoy yourself for a while before making that kind of commitment.

Answer 11

Wow, at 15 there is no way you have the emmotional maturity to take care of a child. You have a crush on a guy and you think that makes you all grown up but it dosn't. Also, "practicaly raisieing" your brothers and cousins and being a parent are very much different things.

Your crush has a job hey? Well, do you have any idea how exspensive a pregnancy and delivery are? Try like, upwords of $15k if your baby is healthy, if not, the numbers go up VERY Sharply. Add to that the cost of formula, diapers, bottles etc.

Does his job offer health insureance? Probly not unless your married, and most states you cant marry at 15, at least not without parents consent.

At 15 you dont have a drivers liscense do you? What happens if you need to take the baby to a doctors appointement and your crush has to work late? I suppose you expect mommy and daddy to bail you out huh? Heck, the fact that you posted this question nder "adolescent" is enough to make me think that you yourself realize your too young.

you gonna drop out of school to take care of a baby? wow, a 15 year old high school drop out has great carrer potential. What are you gonna tell the kid when he/she is 15? "mommy dropped out of high school and lived in this trailor all her life because she thought raising a baby was fun, like playing with her dollies, Thats why the state took you away and you had to be raised by foster parents after the guy i had a crush on who is also your father, bailed."

oh, and think of this, when all your friends are going to there proms, homecomming, winter fest and other school dances, you'll be at home in a tattered bath roobe with a crying infant who just spit up on you for the 12th time that night. Is that really how you want to spend your teen years?

The fact that you have to ask this question is answer enough that your not nearly mature enough to handle the responsibility of raising a child. If you seriously want a child to love, love him/her enough now to wait until you can provide a decent life.