my husband is very much close to his mother and she is so indifferent to me.?

Question

on the earlier days of marriage my mother in law and sister in law illtreated me a lot. my husband never says a word against his mother. i never treated his mother badly once she said my husband that u forgets everything after marriage. i said for the first time she is wrong but after his sister called and made huge fight i felt miserable as i am on the first weeks of pregnancy.on that day my husband told me for him his mother is important.now i'm 3months pregnant and i feels verymuch insecure over his words. my mother in law is having an attitude like she dont even likes my husband spends money for pregnancy.Now a days i felt like these things go deep on my mind and my child will be hurted.what i should do?

Answer 1

You need to speak honestly to him, and let him know the affect your mother in law is having on you. If indeed your husband has appreciation for you and your future baby--he indeed needs to take care of you, in protecting you from his mother

If not keep away from your mother in law and her daughter, you have the right to protect yourself from anything that might injure you & your baby--physically, or emotionally.

If they get mad, let them--you cannot let them abuse you and cause a difficult birth.

Answer 2

I had this problem, his mother never like me and I never liked her. It will not change. It sounds like he's a mama's boy, he should be a man and take care of the family he decided to create first and worry about mother second. In my case, my husband's mom always had control of him until he met me. She was angry she lost her control and to this day she never fully regained her control. She's managed to ruin our marriage. The things she said or sometimes didn't say is what set my husband on the path to the thought patterns he has. I think you should tell him that you and the child are his most important family. If he doesn't understand or do something about it, then he doesn't care about you enough and never will and mother and sister will make sure that you never get too much attention. And when you have the child, they will see to it that he thinks you are an unfit parent. You tell him to either do something or you're leaving. I told my husband that, and he let me leave. We were even divorced completely but then I stupidly took him back and we signed a stipulation and order dismissing divorce which is never being divorced; taking a divorce back. His mother is still a problem to this day even though we are currently separated. In my case, I still talk to my sister-in-law. She would take me as her family any day over my husband. His mom even went so far as to talk him into getting me to name my first child what she wanted the name to be. I had a c-section, I was on morphine when I filled out the papers choosing the name but I did spell the name in a way I knew she wouldn't like. When I got out of the hospital and wasn't sick anymore, I changed the name to that of my cousin's name. My husband's mom was no mad she started calling my daughter baby and told my husband she doesn't know what to call her. Let me add that the name she picked was nothing special, it wasn't a name of anyone in the family or anything like that. If you don't put a stop to it, it will get worse and destroy the marriage anyway. My daughter is 3 now and his mother will never again see her or talk to her because I will have her trying to take control of my daughter and teach her that I'm bad. Do you really want your mother-in-law to teach that to your child. Set limits so that the problem doesn't occur.

Answer 3

It's good that your husband loves his mother.
But from what 'I think' you are saying, your mother-in-law seems to be butting into your relationship.
There's several things you can do when there's a 'bossy' or 'controlling' in-law.
When a man marries, his 'first' and 'utmost' priority should be his wife, but some men are somewhat sissies when it comes to cutting the apron strings ( putting mom on the back burner).
A husband should NEVER do everything to please his mother,
his focus should be on pleasing his wife.
In-laws can be really pitiful human beings, especially if they
arn't too bright to start with i.e: no common sense..
If you have made every effort to befriend them and this has failed
then you need to have a 'SERIOUS' talk with your husband.
And it's NONE of your mother-in-laws business on ANY money
you guys spend..PERIOD.
Your husband needs to "BE A MAN" and tell his mother to treat you with respect, and to mind her own business.
If he's a real man, and really loves you, he will tell her..

Answer 4

Had a situation like that and alot of it is jealousy. Your husband seems to forget the wedding vows; "forsaking all others." When you're married, your wife comes first. That doesn't mean you love your mother, father, or family any less. He needs to talk to someone about his priorities in life.

Answer 5

It would help if you and your husband went to a marriage counselor but if he won't go then go by yourself.

You're going to need to learn how to deal with your mother-in-law and her "little boy" before your baby is born. Good luck.