If both the husband & wife consent will this make the marriage stronger or will it break it up. We've been married over 20 years
2006-12-09 16:22:41 · 25 answers · asked by bad_timing2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've never figured out how having sex with another couple will make your marriage stronger.
Sex is such a special part of being married.....sharing this with other people would eventually cheapen it.
Just the opinion of a happily married person (31 years)
2006-12-09 16:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you didn't give much info here but being married 20 years maybe the kids are grown up and is just the two of you. So now you looking for something a little spicier. I wrote the book on kinky stuff… and had interviewed a lot of people and have my own past experiences on the subject
Did some swinging with one of my girlfriends for a couple of years. Had to admit it was not bad. Some of the problems you do run into the is finding a couple that you both like. I also noticed that one party and the couple was always into it more than the other party.
Say you meet a couple and the girl is hot but the guy is a loser. You love it ....your wife hates it (with this couple). Basically you both have to agree that you both have to be into the couple to continue.
Now since you both have been with each other 20 years and I'm assuming you to have talked it over.... Jealousy probably isn't a big issue but it can be. One of the couples we met the guy was hung like a Shetland pony. I mean this dude was only like maybe 5 foot tall… but that was only height. My girlfriend was deftly way into it.
It will not necessarily make the marriage stronger or break it up. There are couples that are into swinging and have been doing it a long time and there are others that swinging does break them up. You have to make sure that your spouse is not just going along with you for the raide ....so to speak. Make sure they're equally interested and keep this in a situation where jealousy does not get in the way.
Mark
Book Author - GirlsTellAll
2006-12-10 00:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have a secure marriage there shouldn't be any major problems, and if you dont like it you can always stop. My hubby and I are not currently swinging but we have certainly learned a thing or two about each other while swinging. We've kinda grown out of it but no regrets. If you think about it the majority of the population cheats (wheather we like that fact or not) and at least you guys are on the same page if you're in this together so it's not technically cheating but you are getting the new experience. Happy swinging!
2006-12-10 01:04:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for over 2 years. (we are in our 40s) We were both into swinging before we got married and still are. The main thing that makes it work is open communication. We share everything with each other. Trust is also a big issue. I trust him totally and know that he loves me as much as I love him.
It can work and does for a lot of people.
2006-12-10 01:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on why you're looking into it. If both parties are truly consenting (and not going into it because "if I don't s/he'll leave me") and don't have any issues with trust or jealousy, then yeah, it could probably work.
For what it's worth, I've known probably a dozen couples who were either in open marriages or in poly relationships, and I think one of them (last I knew, but that was five years ago) was still together. In all of the others, one of the people left their "primary" partner for a "secondary" partner.
2006-12-10 00:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it will only cause problems later. You may not think so now but maybe one day when you are sitting back thinking about things you may just realize that hey someone else put their pen## in my wife. I wonder if she thought he was better then I am. I wonder what kind of things they did when they had sex. I don't think it is a good idea. If you wanted to be with other people sexually then you shouldn't have gotten married.
2006-12-10 00:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm too d*amned jealous for swinging. I've heard that even if both parties consent, there is still resentment and jealousy afterward which usually goes unspoken and manifests itself in the form of divorce papers.
2006-12-10 00:28:22 · answer #7 · answered by wendy_the_pyro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swinging is a big no-no no matter what. It will just distract you from your current marriage and cause you and your wife to grow apart.
2006-12-10 00:25:18 · answer #8 · answered by Mixedbrunette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any swinger will tell you that it's not the answer to any marital discontent. Your marriage has to be rock solid to successfully enjoy the "lifestyle". If you're looking for something to improve your marriage, keep looking. This will only create another issue.
2006-12-10 00:31:59 · answer #9 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have friends that are into the swing thing and they seem to get along ok ...i guess you don't have to worry about your other half cheating lol ,you just have to go to the party's and find a couple or a girl that you like and do the nasty..i just seem to have a problem with watching another man doing my wife ,listening to her moaning and gowning and really getting off on him and sometimes more than one guy...NOT FOR ME
2006-12-10 00:46:31 · answer #10 · answered by Bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋