I met this guy at college, and became good friends with him real fast. I never thought of myself as gay, but I feel like I really do like him. He seems gay too, because most of my other friends (who I havent told anything to) have asked if he is gay, because he kinda looks and talks that way, and there are signs of him being gay, but he certainly hasnt admitted it yet.
I cant stop thinking about him, he's all thats on my mind, and I wouldn't mind having a relationship with him. But only one thing stopping me is, How do I know FOR SURE that he is gay/bi, and even if he is, how do I approach him about a possible relationship? I mean, we are really good friends, and I dont want any of this to hurt my friendship with him.
Please help me...
Thanks
2006-12-09 15:52:46 · 11 answers · asked by MrRomeo 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you have been friends like for a few months, thats not enough to establish a good friendship. Establish that TRUST within the friendship and you can probably ask him about his sexuality. You can also reveal to him about your sexuality, giving him the opportunity to do the same.
Once you step beyond the friendship stage and go into a relationship mode, there is no turning back. Your friendship with him will never be the same again. You better decide, whether you want him to be a long time friend or be a lover and not knowing how long it will last. Be reminded that most gay lovers do not end their relationship and still become good friends.
Good and trusted friends are difficult to find these days... Weight the pros and cons and your priorities in life.
2006-12-09 16:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by PAXson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a really tough situation. So many straight guys are hyper-sensitive about their sexuality that even asking an innocent (hehe, right...) question can provoke an unfortunate reaction. But there is a silver lining: generally if a guy "acts gay" he is comfortable enough in his own skin to respond to questions like that maturely. Chances are, he's been asked (or more...) before. If just straight up (I'm on a roll) asking him is further than you're willing to go, you can go into the Big Bag of Gay Guys' Tricks and pull out #17: "Playing it Up."
It's simple, really. Sometime when he's around, preferably it's just the two of you, start acting really, really gay. Invite him over, and when he arrives, Queer as Folk is on the TV (Queer Eye or a Will and Grace rerun will work in a pinch), you're reading Men's Health, Teen People, GQ, Soap Digest, etc., Donna Summer is on the radio, and you're singing along. If he joins in, guess what? Question answered. Of course, at some point, no matter how much circumstantial evidence, at some point, you will have to actually TALK and confirm it. Because, sweety, that's what adults do.
2006-12-09 17:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by kevin2760 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you are confused about what you want is life. Obviously you are attracted to this other guy. Around the college years many people begin to really begin to figure out themselves and what makes them happy. Honesty is always the best way I would think though. If you think he likes you as well, you might as well just tell him how you feel and ask him straight up. If he freaks out, and pushes you away, then obviously he wasnt a good friend in the first place. But usually, you know when someone is interested in you. Don't let your fears run your life. Good luck.
2006-12-09 15:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by Waytomanyopinions! 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
honestly there really is no way to know for sure hes gay unless
1 he tells you
2 you know someone who he has been with sexually (even then it could be a lie)
If he is a good friend just ask him. You can even say there is a rumor going on or some people have asked me if your gay etc.
2006-12-09 16:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you have to write a paper on "The Gay Marriage Debate" for your English class and tell him you're required to ask 50 people if they're for it or against it for a survey and see what his reaction is.
2006-12-09 16:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by fordfan444 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well i have a friend who i think is gay and i ask him and he says no but everyone ask me if he is but i never seen him with a girl but then he has this friend witch he does a lot for him and he looks gay that would be funny if ur one of my friends but hey he has to be gay my friend and his friend look gay so he must be. just talk to him.
2006-12-09 16:01:06 · answer #6 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hy hons gay boyfriends daviie and steeviie hons, if hes on your mind hons, then go too him if you cant stop thinking of him hons are you tosing turning hons cant sllep hons at night?? start a conversation, with him hons and ask him straight out hons if he fools around-- let out your felings hons-- its the only way hes gona know-- if he says no then its your anwswer too back off and let it rest. he may not be gay or intetrested in you be prepared hons thats life. but explain your felings-- first if he goes along with it.
2006-12-09 15:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him how you feel. Always express your feelings, that is the only thing that really makes life feel worth living.
2006-12-09 21:08:01 · answer #8 · answered by Kedar 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you open with your homosexuality? If you are, just ask him. If not, you're going to have to work on letting people know.
2006-12-09 15:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by Izzy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
rent that dvd 'another gay movie' and invite him over to watch it. two thumbs up! hehehe...
2006-12-09 16:18:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋