I have been married for almost three years. My husband has been in and out of jail our whole marrige. I have worked and supported both of us. Well know he has gotton in trouble again and needs money to get out of it. Well I don't have that kind of money. He is a 40 year old mommy boy. So 12 days ago he left me to go live with his mom because she saod she would help if he left me! Well I have pegged him to come home and explained to him how much i love him and miss him,but he said the only way he would come back is if i had enough money to get him out of trouble! I told him to please stand up for me to his mother and tell her that he needs help with the money but he is going home to his wife but he says he can't do that! Help! Should I continue to cry or just let go?
2006-12-09 15:43:24 · 25 answers · asked by dmbeb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess that all depends if you want to hire him to continue to be married to you. He's made it very clear that he'll only be around if you keep shelling out the dough. I can't believe he'd have the nerve to do that and that you actually think you should.
Love is a verb, not a noun. His actions aren't showing you love.
2006-12-09 15:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by Shane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does'nt love you, he loves your money.....that's not marriage. He's weird, plus he's a convicted felon. Why would you want to stay with a man who's in & out of jail anyway? Why don't you get yourself a man who is not a loser & has a job so he can pay for his own s h i t.....is he black? I bet he is.....
Don't settle for less. There are alot of other men out there. You should find one who "truly" loves you, a smart guy with a good job, is well educated, has goals & directions in life. Your husband oviously does not have a future & with his terrible background (being in & out of jail) He will never be able to get a decent job to help you or even himself. Your husband is a LOSER! No company will ever hire him because he's a convict. He is & will always be a LOSER......do you want that in your life? to always take care of him & pay his for the trouble he always causes? You should really think about this & ask yourself where do you see yourself within 5-10 years if you stay with him??? If you stay with him, you will probably be paying another trouble he's made. This man does not give a flying f*ck about you! trust me....he's better off with his mother. Just remember this.....if he were a "real" man, he would not have to run to his mother for money, especially being a 40 year old. I feel sorry for him. He's got NO LIFE....you'll make excuses for yourself to not leave him because you quote "love him". Well, let be tell you somethin'......for as long as you stay with him, you deserve all the BS he puts you through. So, wake up & smell the coffee, use your head & be smart because you definetely deserve better, when you leave him you will not regret it, especially after you get over him. Think about your future.
2006-12-09 16:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have self-esteem issues. You have no respect for yourself and that is why this man is walking all over you.
Please do yourself a favor, get counseling, friends anything and move on with your life.
This man doesn't love you, if he did he wouldn't be using you.
He is basically saying he will only be with you if you have money, are you paying for a husband now?
Well with money you can get a better one than a jailbird that doesn't even help you out with the everyday finances.
There are other men out there.
The key to getting over him is keeping yourself busy. Go back to school, get a hobby, invest in some friends or get a second job but don't let him back (which he should be begging, not you) don't let back without him getting his life together and a job.
2006-12-09 17:54:39 · answer #3 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had paper on a man for 3 yrs but the jail house has had him most of your marriage-he will not stop what he is doing-why are you getting him out of jail let mommy keep getting her baby boy out of jail-all you are to him is a check book-you can do better for yourself-if he like 3 hots and a cot let him have it-because in jail he will be feed 3 times a day and he will have a cot to sleep on-more power to him-even if you do have the money to help him out don't give it to him-he only love you if you have money what kind of love is that-you deserve better than that- his mommy don't want to see you all together-maybe she did you a favor by taking him home with her-why are you crying for a man that don't want you-if he did he would not have left you no matter what his mommy said-open your eyes-HE Don't Love You-stop begging-stop crying and wish him good luck and go on with your life-remember boy baby's are born everyday-he is not the only man in the world-love hurts-just remember not to let him continue to make a fool out of you-it is OK to be some dumb-but not plum dumb for a man-LET GO,LET GO,LET GO,BYE,BYE-remember when you ran out of money he ran out on you-does that tell you something
2006-12-09 16:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by brown sugar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl! Why on earth would you beg a loser to come back? Are you serious? You need serious therapy. Obviously he has major issues. Let him live with Mommy Dearest. It sounds like they will be very happy. You need to get a divorce and find a man who deserves what you have to offer. Stop wasting your emotions (crying) on a man who doesn't deserve it.
Go get a manicure, pedicure and a great divorce attorney. Do it 1st thing Monday. Make sure he doesn't have access to any of your accounts before filing or you will have no husband AND no money. GL Go kick some serious booty.
2006-12-09 15:56:20 · answer #5 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not honoring you as a wife. He is putting money over you. He is looking for his needs and doesnt care about striving with the relationship unless he gets what he wants. First, he is in and out of jail and you keep bailing him out. This is not stopping him from getting introuble because he always expects you to baby him and $pay$ for his mistakes. Secondly, he is putting his mother before you because she is willing to contribute to his criminal acts, which he will continue to do unless he is left in jail to think about his actions. He shouldnt do this to you. Dont allow him to walk all over you. You obviously have a head over your shoulder. If he keeps choosing his mother over you, leave him and stop crying. Your strong and can live without him, you deserve better than that!!!
2006-12-09 17:46:25 · answer #6 · answered by Leyanis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are paying him so that you can be with him? Well, if that's the case-I'm sure there are a lot of better guys out there that will probably work for less than what you are paying this jerk! Come on-you can't really be this dense? Leave the scumbag. This is one of those "no-brainers" I'm sure you've heard of them.
Trust me and everyone else posting the same message-don't waste any more of your time, tears or MONEY on this loser.
2006-12-09 15:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Kris W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your running shoes on and go!! No one deserves to be treated this way. He will never stand on his own two feet if he always has someone there to bail his sorry A** out. Find a support group, join a book club, volunteer at a charity. Stand up for yourself and all women by becoming a pillar of strength! Bless you! Peace and love-
2006-12-09 15:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by Indievoter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is over the age of 25 chances are he will never "age out" and will probably continue a life of criminal activity. I also dosn't help that everyone keeps bailing him out and thereby reaffirming his actions. You need to move on and get on with your life and use your money to make you happy, or get used to visitng him in jail.
2006-12-09 17:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is married to you not his mother and yet when things get rough he goes running back to her !! That is no marriage. He needs to grow up and unless he is prepared to let go of his mothers apron strings and stand up like a man if l was you l'd let his mother have him !! However if he wants to defend you to his mother and try to change his childish ways l guess l would give him one more chance. If he mucks up again, pack his kimby's and send him back to mummy !! Good luck, hope it all works out for you.
2006-12-09 16:03:51 · answer #10 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋