when his mom died he started drinking bad..it got so bad i felt then he said he would never drink again.Today he was going to see his dieing dad .but he dent get there he went out got drunk and got to his sick dads house falling down drunk.The dad called me to tell me about it and he had some one come and get his drunk *** out of his house.Just to let you know he dont get to see his dad we live a houre away so his dad was really happy that he was coming over.but when he did he wanted him out.what do i do
2006-12-09 15:39:43 · 10 answers · asked by miss_kittie2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
whatever you do sweetie don't marry him make sure he sobers up and flies right take it from me if you marry him you will be sorry that is no life if you want to go somewhere or make plans to go out with friends or family you better half will be drunk if you have children he will never attend any school plays or games the children will resent you staying with him I use to sit in front of walmart and envy women coming out with there sober husbands while if me and my husband where there we would be fighting or I would be embarrassed by something he said to someone you are in for a life of loneliness believe me it is very lonely so find someone you can share a life full of happiness/
2006-12-09 16:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by what gives 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to *do* anything. You are not behaving rudely to your dying parent. His drinking is not about you, and you are not responsible for his behavior toward others. If anyone tells you you are responsible, or acts as though you are, politely tell them that your mate is a grown man, and he has made the choice to behave in this way... Please take all complaints to the offender not yourself. You probably have enough issues dealing with the interaction in your own household.
Drinking in itself is not a problem, just like bowling in itself is not a problem. If bowling obsessions cause other problems, like rudeness, violence, lost work... these are problems. Don't bother addressing the drinking, because only he can decide to quit, and if he does decide to quit or reduce his drinking, it will not be because you think it is worthwhile, it will be because *he* thinks it is worthwhile.
Stick to issues that are addressable, and which relate only to yourselves. Want him to get to work everyday? Be polite to you? Come to dinner most nights? Do you have a reasonable basis to ask these things of him? The rest of the world will be reminding him of the rest of the trouble he causes if you don't bother to listen to people complaint to *you*. If your interpersonal issues are not bothersome enough for you to leave, fabulous! You can now be content with him as he is. If they are significant enough for you to leave, do so.
Do not bother to bargain about drinking habits, because promises are just promises. Leave and wait for solid performance to see if you care to tolerate his company.
Get off the roller coaster, one way or the other. This problem may affect your life, but it is not your problem.
2006-12-10 00:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by Gina C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dunno. Never been in love with a drunk. It sounds like you have to choose what you want as the focus in your life, stability or bad behaviour. You have to choose. Sounds like he needs to talk to someone about his mom's death. He has to sort out his feelings. My ex hb went over the deep end in a different way when his mom died suddenly. That is part of the reason he is now my ex and not my hb.GL
2006-12-10 00:24:19 · answer #3 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um tell him to clean up or you'll leave. If he dosn't clen up after a day or 2 max. Then move on you will save yourself years of pain over something that is never going to work... You know the answer to this question......
2006-12-09 23:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by tamrick188 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek out Al-Anon meetings in your area. These people are wonderful support and have been where you are. Doesnt hurt to try. Be strong, you are in my prayers!
2006-12-09 23:52:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much you can do honey, its a choice he needs to make. You cannot. Your only choice is to stay with him or go. You are in for a lifetime of unhappiness.
2006-12-09 23:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man needs help and he can not get it until he himself knows enough to ask for it, there is nothing you or any one else can do he has to do it
2006-12-10 00:53:31 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a miserable drunk at that!
2006-12-09 23:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AA or he hits the road.
2006-12-09 23:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by yummybubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are getting into a world of problems. i suggest breaking up now.
2006-12-09 23:44:02 · answer #10 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋