I am confused, she is confused. there are moments when it is clear and moments when it is not, for both of us. RAAAHHHR! as the cowardly lion would say.
2006-12-09 15:38:19 · 19 answers · asked by Johnboy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
agian, more answers.
2006-12-10 03:44:45 · update #1
Johnboy hang in there ... This is a very rough time for you both. You both still have feelings and certainly be sure about this move. But sometimes it's just better if you put some space in your relationship, for the good of all involved. In most cases the people will try and make it work, especially if children are involved, but most times it just makes one or the other feel as though they are giving up more to make 'this thing' work than the other person, creating more stress on an already stressful situation. Good luck and there is life after divorce. It just takes time. Your family and close friends will be invaluable, I hope you can count on some of them. See you on the other side of pain. You will now have an opportunity to see what the old saw about "loved and lost" is all about.
2006-12-09 15:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by Joe Schmo from Kokomo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is probably one of the most confusing things you will ever experience. If the two of you are on the same page with this divorce, then just count yourself lucky (and realize that you're in the minority). I would suggest that both of you talk to lawyers, together if you are as "on the same page" as you seem to be. Get it all figured out on paper and it'll be much easier to put into action. Yes, lawyers suck, but they make what is a really emotional and complex time into something black and white that you can read on a page. It may be hard to take such an emotional thing and make it so unemotional, but the sooner you get emotions out of it, the better off you'll be.
I really wish you all the luck in the world. And in a word, for your answer, yes. Everyone is confused. No matter how complicated or clear cut everything seems, it is confusing to EVERYONE. Good luck, sweetheart.
2006-12-09 15:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by feistycharley 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no easy answer for that. Does your wife want you to stay? If she does, stay, keep working on it. As far as the father in law goes, who is he to say, if you leave you can't come back? Oh wait, that's where your wife got her control issue? 15 years is a long time, I would work on staying only if the passion is still there. You deserve to be happy too, but to give up a family just because you want to party is not what I would call true love. And as far as the leopard's spots go, they just move around, they never change. I know that one, divorced after 14 years.
2016-05-23 01:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being confused during this time is normal. I was confused during my divorce too. So many emotions that you have to deal with, and knowing that the relationship that you used to have is no longer there is very confusing. Hang in there it will get better. It may not feel like it right now but trust me, I have been divorced for almost a year.
2006-12-09 15:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by Raven 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a never ending realm of confusion. My marriage is in limbo right now. I've been confused for the last 2 years and so has he. I ask him what he wants he don't know. He asks me what I want I reply with " I don't know." It's kinda like those nights when you are driving around town and can't decide what you want to eat. Chinese or Burgers? He asks what do you want and you ask what he wants. Both indecisive. I keep telling myself that it will work itself out but it hasn't. I think that's why lawyers make lots of money. LOL They sort out the confusion for you. Good luck
2006-12-09 17:46:42 · answer #5 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not just getting "unmarried" you are changing your entire life as you know it. Your identity is changed, you are no longer two halves of a whole, financially, emotionally, nor legally. Your routine is changed, the pattern of everyday life that you could do with your eyes closed, is now thought out, evaluated, and thought out again.
You may not have like the dance, nor even your dance partner--but you knew the steps of the dance. That comfort zone is now over.
You will live through it. It takes a good year (if not 2-3) to finally get adjusted to your new single life.
2006-12-09 15:44:24 · answer #6 · answered by maamu 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
when people who want to divorce always have many questions. Just follow your heart and make the decision which comes first in your head. OR keep some place, the two of you will see that you 2 still needed each other?
2006-12-09 15:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sure, its easy to be confused, its a life altering thing - divorce. You fell in love with that person and now you know its over. Its hard. Good luck.
2006-12-09 15:43:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Johnboy, i have an ex that likes to be called that, yes when you are going through a divorce, you ask yourself, why is this happening to me, so yes its very confusing.
2006-12-09 15:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For some people yea you are confused...so many things going on so little time to think it out_
2006-12-09 15:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋