I know men look at porn and it is normal. However, I was in a long relationship for 5 years, and I know for a fact that he did not watch porn(maybe i should have been concerned? ha). So I guess, I was spoiled in the way that I was used to being the ONLY girl he looked at like that.
Now I am in a new realtionship, and extremely happy, but it just hurts when I find pictures and stuff. I never snoop around, i just find stuff. and he gets mad if I get upset because he feels like he can't do what "men do".
I don't want to be a whinny ***** and make him feel bad for watching it or whatever, but i just feel like I dont look like those girls. I know it is a mans fantasy, but what part?I want to be his every fantasy.
I dont care that he does watch it, but i hate to find it. In my mind, i think, " how would he feel if my nude pic were being used for another mans fantasy?
I jus need some feedback from the men here.. I'm all ears.
i just dont want to hurt when i see those pictures
2006-12-09 15:11:02 · 21 answers · asked by mili 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
watch it togeather
2006-12-09 15:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a sex toy. Those women are not people to your boyfriend. You are a person to him. I doubt that you want to be part of that fantasy of being a toy to him. You want to have a healthy partnership and sexual relationship. You don't want a user and a used! The fact that women in porn do not look real and are all dressed up with plastic **** is sort of the point. It's a fantasy and these toys are not real women! (whether or not we can argue otherwise on a larger scale isn't important to the fact that this is what's in his head and if it's not changing your relationship, leave it alone on the small scale of you and him) In truth, a porno, is no different for a man than a vibrator or a showerhead for a woman. It's a way to get off on your own, but make it feel really good. Just face it, sometimes you just want to masturbate, sometimes your partner isn't willing and fantasies are often left that way because the reality isn't enjoyable. He doesn't actually want to have sex with a porn star or anyone who looks like one. He's just playing.
2006-12-09 23:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all all men do it. My friends hide it from there wifes its so funny. Second I watch porn and I never compare my wife to the porn girls. Only women think that way. Men don't. Third try watching it with him thats what my wife did and now we both turn on the porn when ever we get romantic. You guys can laugh together at the bad acting. And besides by you watching it... it will totally turn your man on to you!!!! trust me he is not in any way compareing you to the tv. Its just that mens hormones run 24/7 and it seems like girls dont.
2006-12-10 00:00:02 · answer #3 · answered by tamrick188 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just better when the both of you watch it & look at it together, but when the boyfriend or husband is watching porn himself then it's going to become a problem. I know how you feel, when you find out it does'nt make you feel sexy or desirable to him anymore, right? It makes you feel like your man wishes you looked just like the women on the porn & that sucks. It makes you insecure. If you don't want to go thru that, I think you should ask him to stop.
2006-12-10 00:53:31 · answer #4 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both men and women look at porn but NOT all men and women look at it. Get it? The problem is, that most people outgrow that phase but many people get ADDICTED to it and for some, it gets them in trouble with wanting to act out on a fantasy and for others it hurts their sex life and they will masturbate more and more and forget about their partner.
If you don't like it now, will you like it when he looks at it 1 year from now, 5 years from now and so on? Be VERY careful about this relationship and get to know him VERY well before you commit to him for the rest of your life.
2006-12-09 23:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loved and respected you he would stop it---you need to do your part now and let him know how much you will stand for, and then draw the line---and stand by your word when he does what he is not supposed to---make an agreement and agree on the consequences of breaking the agreement. My fiance looks at porn, and i mean openly in front of me brings playboy magazines into the house. He thinks he can get away with all this stuff until i let him know it goes both ways and started looking at naked men on websites and watching 2 men make out and saying that i just needed to get off on it and i needed to see other men naked and i cannot help it and then he changed around in a hurry! Try that! P.S.-----i asked if he would like other men fantasizing about me naked and using me and thoughts/pictures of me to get themselves off/pleasure themselves and he did not like that idea....so i let him know that i do not look like the girls in the movies and also that i do not like the idea of other women turning him on or him using them to get aroused before he wants anything to do with me---and believe me, he used to do that until i put a swift stop to it. Good luck!
2006-12-09 23:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most man watch porn. Mostly the difference is does the girlfriend or wife know? Well my husband watches it and i have come to watch it with him every so often it can get you in the mood give you new ideas and makes you more open to him watching it. It is just porn hun. no strip club and no ...house. At least he is not out there cheating on you. And decides to do handwork instead. let him know that its ok and that he doesnt have to hide it. Talk to him
2006-12-09 23:18:32 · answer #7 · answered by purple butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i watch porn together. it can be fun.
but i also see where you're comming from. when you tell him how it makes you feel, make it clear and have a logical explanation or reason as to why this is so important to you and your relationship. Be reasonable. Guys think that way, at least my husband does, and when I reason with him, rather than get emotional it speaks volumes to him. Just be sincere and frank, and not naggy or annoying. If he dismisses your feelings, that is not good. He should at least acknowledge how it makes you feel, and then try to show you in other ways that you are his every fantasy.
2006-12-09 23:22:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you trust your feelings. I may be out of place but if you just have a relationship you have not what you need which is commitment of marriage. If your worth loving and living with a full life is found in Holy Matrimony. As for porn it is a lust of the flesh instead of love for who and what you are. Jesus said to look upon another in lust is sin. If you aren't his only desire you need to cut and run. Tomorrow is our thirty-ninth anniversary and it gets better every day. Good Luck! God Bless.
2006-12-09 23:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, truthfully he did it before you came along and he will continue to do so. I had the same issue but i had to learn Like me there are something I do he may not like or agree with but he knows I did them long before he came along and that i would continue. And the plain and simple truth is men are men (not saying women don't watch porn cause they do) But it doesn't mean he doesn't love you less. And honestly (not to dive into your personal life) BUT if u still are having sex frequently or semi frequently depending on your and his sex drive all is OK. So I know it may be difficult but its a so called "guy thing" and just like things we women do guys have things they do as well.
2006-12-10 00:33:18 · answer #10 · answered by cheshirecat18a86 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi mili,
It is perfect for man to look at porn but not addicted to it. Remember it is sight that man get arouse, likewise is emotions and care that build up for woman.
In this world where porn is easily avaibable everywhere and anytime via internet or bookstore, it is virtually unavoidable. Speaking from man's view, do engage more with your bf and listen carefully to his needs. This way will build up relationship stronger. BTW, I only engaged in sex with my gf few times a year which is very miserable and unfullfiling....
Hope this helps and do ask him about his thoughts and open up sharing...
2006-12-09 23:25:31 · answer #11 · answered by viosrider 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋