My partner, among other issues does not share my love of sex. I am healthy, pretty, and a monogomus nympho. I love to experiment, have fun and get some action at least once a day. I would accept 5 times a week with good grace.
But my partner of 6 years does not like sex. He is fine with sex once a month, or even less. He is unimaginative in bed. Regardless of my many attempts to turn him on and please him. All he ever wants is oral and me on top.
He is mean when I talk to him about it. He calls me names, and gets angry. Its gotten to the point where I almost for the first time in my life almost had an affair. EEK!
He even gets pissy if I masterbate. Every once in a while it will turn him on, but mostly he gets annoyed and makes rude comments if he catches me.
So, should I take a lover to make up for the lack of sex?
Should I leave over the lack of sex?
How on earth would I explain to my daughter, "Honey daddy and mommy cant be together anymore cause daddys a prude
2006-12-09 14:32:17 · 13 answers · asked by absintheveil 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you should leave. Sex is too important to both men and women. It's not reasonable for somebody to expect you to be happy that way. And if you get married, it will be worse. This sounds like a recipe to make two people uncomfortable. Part friends and go find somebody who will satisfy you and who will appreciate you. Trust me, they're out there. Life could be so much better for you.
Also, from your message, your relationship doesn't sound all that redeeming. I don't see what's in this for you.
Get out and get on with life. There's a better life waiting for both of you. There are plenty of women out there who don't like sex and your partner should go find one of them. The world would be a better place...
Good luck.
2006-12-09 14:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have articulated your situation very well. My impression is that you are a reasonable, dedicated, loyal, and committed spouse. While you may be incompatible in bed, there could still be hope for the relationship IF (notice, a big IF) he is willing to accommodate your needs and you are willing back off on some of those needs. Perhaps there is a middle ground, not entirely satisfactory for either, but in the interest of family, acceptable.
Our society places a huge value on sexual satisfaction. However, only a few marriages turn out to have totally compatible sex partners. There is always compromise, sacrifice, and unconditional love involved in working relationships. If you value what you have and are both willing to communicate and help each other, you can work it out. Professional marriage counseling may be needed to get you to a point where that is possible.
2006-12-09 15:12:20 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you first met him was he like this? Dose he has a problem you might know of? Know don't leave,he might get mad and hurt you, your lover should enjoy making love to you He should enjoy making you feel as good you make him feel. Just to think if he knew you wrote this about him he might become very mad, he does not seen to be a nice person i wish he would fore fill your sexual need because every woman who love being made love to, its a great feeling,. wait until he goes to work and them masturbate. making love is a beautiful thing I'm so sorry you have to go though this no woman should have to be treat like this. I wish he would change just to make your sex life better,they said love is the most import-ion thing in a marriage or girl friend or boy friend ...but sex is also import-ion to ,please don't leave he might get mad if he called you nasty names there no telling what he might do, I think some time some Women thinks they have found Mr right and something you could be with Mr wrong .a woman should be love you should be happy and thinking about the future vacation growing old together. this should be the last thing on your mind I don't know what to tell you I just hope this young man change.
2006-12-09 15:26:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have been happy with no sex from my wife and being companions forever instead. I believe we were not sexually compatible due to her abuse issues in childhood (she was overly needy in bed and would never initiate sex, which is what I needed sometimes). I could have stayed married that way, but she eventually had an affair. I guess for some women sexual compatibility is more important than the loving marital bond. Good luck with your conscience.....
2006-12-09 14:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has to be some alone time for you to take care of your own needs, and don't tell him you do!!
Try to get him to meet in the middle on how many times you can decide will work for both of you!
Don't give up, if you love him! Counseling may be an option too!
2006-12-09 14:39:59 · answer #5 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, if he's not putting out I think you're fully allowed to masturbate and heck, he should be buying you toys to make sure you don't stray!
If you're thinking it's time to dump him because of this, you need to talk to him about it. He needs to understand that sex is important to you and that you want to be fulfilled. You need to probably lay down some rules, like say, "Well, if you're not willing to have sex with me five times a week, these are your options A) I find a lover, B) you encourage me in masturbation, C) etc. D.)etc."
Good luck!
2006-12-09 14:38:37 · answer #6 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him what you want.If he does not understand,tell him is over.On the other hand,you can have sex 3 times a week(if he has low drive sex).communication is the key in all relationships.If he is angry and does not respect you,mean clear, that he does not love you indeed.Try to talk with him and see what happen.Good luck.
2006-12-09 14:45:48 · answer #7 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If talking won't do it, your actions will. It seems that you can't be happy without the sexual relationship involved (who would be happy without that!) so you should really leave.
Maybe if you leave, he will finally come with the realization that he is prude. He'll get the idea (I hope). Maybe he'll change, maybe he won't. But it's worth a try, isn't it?
2006-12-09 14:36:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my god, this is my exact situation! Don't you just want to SCREAM in frustration? Me, I've just about had it. It's just not bloody worth it, and I figure what the hell, I look better now than I ever have and I love that I am in great shape, so why waste it on someone who doesn't appreciate it? I hope it's easier for you than it is for me, my heart is broken, but what can you do? F*** him. NEXT!!!! :)
2006-12-09 14:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
youre put your self in a difficult situation , when the sex balance is out ,It does leed to frustration and anger and resentment from one of the partners , there is no easy choice
2006-12-09 14:36:39 · answer #10 · answered by jac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋