I'm gay and i'm afraid to tell my husband. What should i do?

Question

I've been married to him for 15 years and i only found out like two weeks ago. We have two kids who are under ten years old and they go to a Catholic School (their names are Bradley and Benjamin and they are the love of my life). The school has brainwashed them so they will think i am the AntiChrist if they know i am gay. HELP!!

I acually found out when my best friend who is lesbian said she liked me, and i found out i really loved her back, so we've been going out (secretly) for around two weeks. I dont think my husband will understand this, since my best friend is his boss.

Answer 1

Being gay is not something you just discover two weeks ago...you would have been aware of this for a long time. I think you might find that you are bisexual. Just because you may have had a same sex encounter (if you did) doesn't make you gay.

Answer 2

Your husband has the right to know of your decision of your sexuality. Your children on the other hand do not need to know all the details until the time is right. And some things, most things should remain private between you and your partner. You should not leave your husband hanging on though. Speaking from experience It will be better that he finds out from you and not to be left in the aftermath wondering what he did wrong to make you turn to someone of the same sex. Give your husband that much. Tell him & go from there. Good luck.

Answer 3

It seems like you got alot of different answers from many different people. There's so much involved in your question, that can't really be answered in one paragraph or 1 conversation. If i was you, I'd definitely take the time to think about what you truly want. If you are in love with this woman, or if it's just she is giving you attention that maybe your husband is not. I know you must be going through a rough time, and i'm sorry. If you need to talk more, or an ear to listen feel free to contact me [e-mail] Good luck. take care.

Answer 4

I think if your heart tells you this is what you want leave your husband and don't worrier about your kids they will always love you know matter what follow your heart don't be unhappy because of other people I'm bi and have been with my husband for 9 years but if you know this is what you want than every one around you will either except it or not but the bottom line is that your happy its your life live it the way you want i think things will work out in time good luck too you and your knew life.

Answer 5

Unless you plan on giving up everything you worked so hard to get then you need to tell your husband and get It over with. I really don't understand whats going on here It seems like your tired of being In this relationship and psychologically trying to find some way out by telling yourself your gay. your not gay If anything your curious It takes years of pratice believe It or not to become gay. Todays society and television makes this gay lifestyle totally overrated. People don't understand what they are doing to their spouses and children when they turn to be with the opposite sex not to mention this Is his boss....thats dirty! You really need to think about the depression and emotional damage your going to put on this family before you go through this "all about you" stage.

Answer 6

I dont get it, after 15 yrs and 2 Children you just 2 weeks ago found out that you are GAY? Maybe you should see a Dr. But if you continue to have an Affair with another Woman, you owe it to your family to come CLEAN and be prepared for a Divorce.But dont continue to CHEAT on him, he will find out.

Answer 7

You need to decide what is important for your children. Children need a mom and a dad TOGETHER. All the most recent research indicates that MOM and DAD together is what is best for healthy stable children. You can work through this if you really care for them.

Think about it this way. You have decided that you are happier in a lesbian relationship which has no promise of stability or longevity in the future. Again, research indicates that lesbian relationships fail in far greater amounts, have more episodic violence, and are subject to multiple "cheatings." Lesbian affairs or relationships are also prone to more health problems (both mental and physical) than heterosexual relationships. Seems that what you have decided is to follow your selfish desires rather than consider your children or the man you promised to love for life.

You have a choice.

Make a good one because you may just destroy four lives if you make the wrong one.

Answer 8

There is no reason for your children to know anything about your sexual preferences, that is your private business. And being raised catholic you should already know they will be raised against homosexuality and to believe it's a sin. Your husband doesn't need to know all the facts unless you plan to stay with him, if you do then you need to talk with him, tell him you cheated (not necessarily with whom) and ask his forgiveness. Otherwise you just need to ask for a divorce. It's not fair to either of you to stay in a marriage where your not happy and will continue to cheat. Try to put yourself in his shoes and think how you would feel. Good Luck

Answer 9

Most woman are curious at some point in their lives. Rather it be just a fantasy or a full on desire to be with another woman. You need to know for certain this is what you want before turning your family upside down!

Answer 10

Perhaps you are under a delusion, since you've "found out" two weeks ago. It's hard to see how that came about. For the sake of the kids, keep it to yourself.