I am at my wit's end! My husband and I have been married for over three years now and together for four. Recently there was an argument between myself and two of my in-laws. We have had disagreements in the past, but have always worked things out. Well, now they are completely ignoring me! My husband is in the military and is gone right now. I am really feeling terrible and angry right now. I just do not think we will ever be close. I know my husband loves him family, and he has always been wonderful about stepping in when neccesary to help resolve the normal conflicts that happen. Things seem great as long as I do not express my opinions or disagree with certain family members. I have always had a pretty good relationship with my mother in law, but the last time I spoke to her on the phone, she was acting differently towards me. I have to wonder if her daughter's are trying to influence her because they are upset with me. The argument was over such petty nonsense!
2006-12-09 14:22:29 · 9 answers · asked by Dolphin73 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Talk to your mother-in-law and explain what you are feeling. Mature people should be able to work out the problems with communication. Best of luck.
2006-12-09 14:31:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are alone right now and missing your husband. It has to be difficult for you. Is your family near you or are you far from home? It might be more comforting to reach out to them for a bit and let things calm down. If it was over something petty, then why don't you just pretend it never happened. Completely avoid the subject when you are around his family. Don't bring it up and find a way to dodge the subject if they do.
In the meantime, you can make polite contact, maybe a phone call once a week to update his parents on any news from their son. You really don't need to contact his sisters. You can ask the parents to let everyone know.
Are you near a military base? They have support groups for wives whose husbands are away on assignment. You might find some good friends there. You know what they say, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family."
2006-12-09 14:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by Eaglesguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to put your husband in the middle, it's not fair for him to have to choose sides, especially if he is away. I have had issues with my In-Law's from the moment my husband propsed. We have been together for over 7 years, and married for 6 years. From my experience, the best solution for me has been to choose my battles. My In-Laws feel like they have to give their two cents on every aspect of our lives. They are very set in their ways, and tend to be quite outspoken and rude. If I got into with them over every ugly thing they said or did, we would never speak again. Bottom line, it would ruin my marriage. Instead, I choose to forgive and forget the petty stuff. As hard as it is sometimes, I just keep my mouth shut and chalk it up to them being ignorant. By being the "bigger person" and not constantly griping to my husband about them, I did a little reverse psychology with out even realizing it... Suddenly my husband saw me as either the inocent victim or the "right one". He started stepping in, and the result was that his parents started backing off. They saw that they could no longer team up on me, because I simply wouldn't play their games. My husband respected me more for being the mature one, instead of the baby. Now, when I truly feel they have offended me, my husband listens and his parents appologize. It's like now that I am not constantly complaining, people actually listen to me when I choose my battles correctly. It's better to be the first one to apologize and make amends even if your not the one at fault, then to be the bitter one holding onto a wrong and be alone. I don't if all that made sense or if it will apply to your situation, but I hope so... Good luck!
2006-12-09 14:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Choochie Larue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay true to you and the truth will eventually be known by all. Karma all ways gets justice. That which goes around comes around but at 10 times the clout. You do not have to defend yourself when you are correct. they are jealous and petty. Read Carolyne Myss's books. The one I reccommend first is The 7 archytypes this tells you how to set and maintain healthy personal bounderies. You do need to stand in the truth and in power but you do not need to attack. those that talk the most are the one trying to creat an illusion to mask the truth.Silence is the wisest action many times.
2006-12-09 14:34:41 · answer #4 · answered by iamonetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married to my husband four years now, and while some of his family opened their arms to me right away, there is still one of his sisters, that just refuses to get along with me. I do not think this will ever change. We are always having arguments just like you described. And you would think after me being with their brother for going on 6 years, they would have gotten over themselves. I think there's just something about in-laws that makes it humanly impossible to get along with them all.
2006-12-09 14:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by Sadie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it will probably not get any better. I have been married for 18 years. I get along wonderfully with my inlaws because we live 600 miles away from them.
2006-12-09 14:29:15 · answer #6 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One, make confident your husband is conscious how plenty you savour him sticking up for you. distinctive husbands could have blown it off. 2, tell him that when you're indignant by employing what they did and you compromise it replaced into completely unacceptable habit on their area, it replaced into no longer so grave an offence as to warrant breaking all communique. it somewhat is approximately how they invaded *your* area, so in case you're keen to proceed touch, it style of feels style of stupid on your husband to push the situation. on the turn area, it may be real looking to invite for his or her keys lower back so it would not take place lower back. Your husband could say some thing like "Sisters, i such as you all very plenty, yet what occurred the different day replaced into somewhat, deeply irrelevant. i certainly do no longer desire my spouse subjected to that lower back, so i think of for the 2d it may be appropriate in case you're able to provide me lower back the keys to my domicile. I nevertheless love you. you're nevertheless welcome right here, yet that won't be able to take place lower back."
2016-12-30 05:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by boynton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to get over it you do not need the stress
2006-12-09 14:32:02 · answer #8 · answered by bigdogrex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its never going to get better. It sounds like my family, and probably my neighbor's family, and his neighbor's family, and their neighbor's....
...its, unfortunately, how it is.
2006-12-09 14:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by fslcaptain737 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋