What should i do if i am sad about me and my fiance b/c we broke up?

Question

Me ANd MY FIANCE BROKE UP B/C HE THOUGHT THAT I WAS 2 CONTROLING OVER BUT I AM NOT ITS JUST HE ALWAYS 2 BUSY 4 ME HE SAYS I GOT 2 DO THIS & ThaT HELL HE PROBALY WITH THIS & THAT GIRL 7 WE HAVE A CHiLD 2GETHER A BEAUTYFUL LITTLE GIRL NAME BRE BUT WE BROK UP BUT STILL TALK & DO OTHER THINGS SHOULD I BE DOING THAT OR LET ALONE LET HIM SEE HIS CJHILD OR EVEN TALKING 2 HIM I HAVE TRIED ASKING MY FREINDS BUT THE R NO GOOD SO I HOPE U ALL CAN GIVE ME GOOD ADVISE

Answer 1

First of all, if you think he is too busy for you now then it is probably a good thing you broke up, the situation may never change and you would grow old together, but you would be miserable and alone in an unhappy marriage.

You should not continue to be too close to him - it will just keep false hope alive.

You definitely should include him in your child's life though - he is her daddy.

You will naturally be sad for a while, then you will likely get angry with yourself, then the anger will transfer to him. These are normal feelings. Just know that the time you did spend together was worth it (you had a child with him) but that was then and this is now.

You will move on, you will find love again. Stay strong young mom!

Answer 2

Okay, look, when ther'e a kid involved, ya gotta put aside all your own feelings and focus on what's best for the kid.

My opinion... I think that unless the dad is a total loser, the kid would benefit from seeing him. And if the two of you can be nice to each other in front of the kid, that's great. Kids should see their parents get along and act in a healthy way. That little girl is learning from you when you don't think she's listening. They pick everything up.

So focus on the little girl and what's best for her. Be kind even if your ex bf is unkind. Show your daughter what is right by doing what is right. At this point, very little of this is about you and most of it is about the little girl. Do what's right for her.

At the same time, if it's terribly painful for you to see the ex bf, maybe you can get creative and think of something. The discomfort will wear off over time.

But the worst thing you can do is fight in front of the kid. That's no good. Be kind to the ex bf for your daughter's sake.

Young guys flip out when they get hit with a lot of responsibility. And this guy's got a kid with you. That's heavy. I can see why he might be feeling a bit smothered if he's young. Don't take it personally that he feels that way. It sounds normal. And take it as a good sign if he wants to stay connected to your daughter. As long as he is consistent and he is a good role model, this is a real good thing.

But focus on what's best for your daughter. You have a great deal of influence over how she's gonna turn out. Do what you can for her.

You sound young and you sound like you're dealing with a lot of really heavy stuff all at once. You'll grow up fast because of all this. And when you do, you'll get things figured out more and more. And if you feel sad, that is normal. There'll be good days again. Life has its ups and downs and the downs make the ups that much more pleasant when they come along again.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

How sad. First that you had a child together, and second that you're functionally illiterate. Hopefully your child will have a better education than you managed to acquire.

Now, as for your situation... Yes, it's tough to go through a breakup. It never gets any easier. I'm 47 and just went through one. It's devastating. The best advice I can give you is to keep busy. Do things that are constructive - whether it's working on your home (cleaning, organizing, etc.) or get another job, or volunteer helping others who are less fortunate. Being busy helps keep your mind off your problems, and doing something constructive gives you something to feel good when you step back and see what you've accomplished. Helping others (volunteer work) will help you realize that life isn't as bad as you thought.

Keeping busy and good ol' time will help you heal. Good luck, girl.

Answer 4

I kind of agree with indycolts. You should turn you caps lock off, you should not type like you are sending text messages to you friends (and use spell check or something) unless you did in fact post your question on a phone because you have no other way then I can't pick on you ;-) Anyway if you are worried he is with other girls and he thinks you are too controlling then you probably shouldn't be together. I'm sure some will disagree with me but I don't believe a child is necessarily a reason to stay together either. I also think it's ok to talk but doing "other stuff" will likely just delay the inevitable. What to do if you're sad: It really just takes time but usually talking to friends helps - you say you're friends are no good to talk to so you should try to find someone cool to talk to then. Any family, like cousins or something that you can talk to? Young adults group at your local church perhaps? Good luck!

Answer 5

First off, breakups are always tough. It is particularly complicated because there is a child in the picture.

If you are not finding your current friends and family supportive you might want to consider counseling. Do you go to a church? Most minister have experience in grief counseling. Most communities have other resources which you might find under mental health in the phone book.

The reality is only time can heal you. Try to focus on other positive aspects of you life like your child, a job, your education etc.

Also you should talk to an attorney since you have a child and should receive child support.

Answer 6

I think you should give up on him and move on but still let him be a part of his child's life let him see you happy and never give into him at least not for a while if he loves you he will want you back you should start telling him when he calls you you have plans and when you see him make sure to be dressed to in press and always seem happy if he cares about you he will really want you back so make him beg let him know you can live great with or with out him that's my advice also follow your heart but don't give in too soon he will take you for granted.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad over the loss of your relationship for a period of time.You should treat it like morning the death of a friend and move on to a more productive relationship. And yes you should let him be in your daughters life,if you trust him with her,you do not need to be there if you are uncomfortable being around him.

Answer 8

if you and your fiance are having this much trouble now, what do you think your relationship would be after marriage? More of the same because people do not change. Move on, love your child and wait for some wonderful guy to enter your life!

Answer 9

looks like she replaced into uninterested in you and had to sleep with somebody else. yet whilst she did she realised thats no longer what she needs and she or he incredibly needs you. you have gotta make the determination in case you may believe her back or no longer. is she well worth trusting. will the discomfort of no longer being along with her be worse than the discomfort of breaking apart along with her back if she does it back. Is she utilising you for the affection and affection you coach her so she feels valued and cared for. and then ditching you for no-strings intercourse with some guy. i think of that's finally a determination your going to would desire to make on your guy or woman. good luck!!

Answer 10

Gee....turn off the capital letters....learn to spell and use proper grammar and somebody might take you serious. Additionally maybe next time you will be married and in a stable relationship before you bring a child into this world.