I have a friend from school that is gay, but one day he was testing his mom and asked,"What would you do if I was gay?" and since their morman his mom replied,"I would disown you." and i have no idea what to say to him or how to comfort him!! have any advice?
2006-12-09 14:00:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
well i know what you are going through.. just tell him that he doesn't necessarily have to tell his mom.. it isnt a do or die thing. i will say this is a way that you might not like.. but let me remind you.. i understand what he is going through and i know what is running through his head. but lets face it.. when a mother has a child.. she looks forward to having that wedding day with his bride and having kids someday. but if he is homosexual.. this cannot happen.. you see? so all of her dreams are shut down. and that is the reason why she is saying that she will disown him and not want to be a part of his life. if he did happen to tell her.. then i want to tell you to tell him to warn himself.. she will say some mean things that she doesnt mean.. but the only thing that you can do is to tell him that it is his decision whether to tell her or not.. but when or if he does.. there will be a lot of tears and agony.. but it will all clear up soon.. as long as god is with you.. and as lng ad he has a good friend liek you who understands.. then everything will be ok.. i hope something i said helped you.. god bless and take care
2006-12-09 14:08:14 · answer #1 · answered by Brittany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth be told, they probably would disown him.
The Mormon religion is a very strict one.
I read a magazine article once about a Mormon girl who was disowned by her parents for something similar to what you have mentioned.
I don't remember their reasoning but it was ridiculous as well.
If he has nowhere else to go, he should probably hold off on coming out of the closet until he is old enough to support himself.
Also, it could just be a phase. How old is your friend? I know some people question their orientation for a short time period and later realize they really aren't gay.
Does he have family or a friend he could live with if his parents did disown him?
I hope everything turns out okay.
I can't believe a parent would do something like that to their child for such a reason.
2006-12-09 14:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by Desiree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mother needs to be educated. Since he asked her the question she probably has a good idea that he is gay anyway.
Tell him to seek the advice of a school counselor or another trusted adult. Maybe he needs some arbitration to help in this delicate matter. There are many support groups out there that he could attend with his Mother to help her understand.
2006-12-11 09:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by mrspunkmeister2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his Mother is unbending on this issue, tell him to live his life and just keep that part of him out of the picture where his family is concerned. He has nothing to lose since she would never accept his partner anyway. For him to just come out with it would cause him so much emotional damage if he is young. Why not wait a few years if he must tell his family. His Mother should love him unconditionally, however, this could be something that could destroy them both. She may just need a lot more time. He should just live his life and not push it on her now.
2006-12-09 14:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by PZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should watch one of my favorite movies of all time with him, Latter Days. Gay mormon missionary. Nuff said. Great movie, total tear jerker (mom's a biotch in it too). Also, I would say that it probably isn't a good time to come out for your friend. I know that sounds terrible, hiding who you are, but it's exactly what my mormon friend is doing. She's waiting until college to come out as a lesbian pagan because her parents would kill her otherwise and it would just create too much drama. Depending on how brave your friend is, he could come out to his mother and see what happens. Either way, always support him in whatever way you can and let him know that you'll always be there for him even if his mom is a homophobic bigot!
2006-12-09 18:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by Dark_Night 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what I had a brother that was gay he was the best of friend anybody would ever have he was the meaning of everything in our lifes the whole family loved him and still do.But I remember that when my mother found out that he was gay she got so mad at him that he had to move out for a long time, but after a few years she learned to live with it.But time had already gone by.It will be 8 years this Christmas that he pased away
2006-12-09 14:16:23 · answer #6 · answered by MisMac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to go to a gay support group. i sent my nephew to one and in fact went with him. he will be with other gays that have had many different experiences. they will comfort and support him through all types of things. and it will give him a little more self-confidence rtoo. they have some great groups out there. if you cant seem to know where to look go to a counciler and ask maybe they can help him. and the councelor will keep it private too. good luck to the both of you. it must hurt to see him hurt. merry christmas.
2006-12-09 14:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what she says because she can't even begin to imagine that he is or could be gay. He should tell her when the time is right for him to do so. If she still has those feelings when he does tell her, then he should sever all ties with her until she can accept him. He doesn't have to tolerate any cruelty from her, she has to accept him for who he is.
2006-12-09 14:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he shouldn't be afriad to be gay. everyone is entitled to their own feelings and i think he should stick to what he believes and thinks. you support him and that is all that matters. i am sure other people support him too. tell him not to be afriad and stick up for what he feels. maybe after a time him mom will come around but for right now just let it run its course and never let anyone rip on him for it. :)
2006-12-09 14:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by delvkm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my goodness that HORRIBLE!!!
and o so sad!!
i would invite him over and sit on the bed and jst let him vent and talk.
give him a hug and tell him everything will be ok
im sure it will
besides.
his mom doesnt have to know-
right?
but thats really sad
its her SON!!
jeez....:\
it isnt his fault
he jst IS that way-
im really sorry
i hope i helped :[
2006-12-09 14:05:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋