what if you never find your soul mate?

Question

I see so many people in my lifetime that are in thier late 30's, 40's and 50's that are still dating and havent even come close to finding that one person what was meant for them. It scares me as a young, single woman that ill end up like that. alone at that age. im not saying that its the most horrible thing in the world, so please dont focus on that......but humans are built to love and find love and search for the ever-lasting love. is it that only a certain number of us in the world actually find that person??

Answer 1

I don't believe in soul mates. I think there are plenty of people who are compatible with me as well as my lover. It just so happens that we found eachother first. If I had moved to another city, I would have met another man and had a completely different life, but it all would have been compatible.

Getting married for fear of being alone is one of the main reasons for divorce, so don't you focus on it either! Infact, I think the best way to go about finding love is to develop yourself and your own independence. That way, when the right man comes along, you'll know who you are, what you want and how you deserve to be treated. Just relax. I think most people who found real love weren't looking for it. It just happened. Love is one of the great accidents on our human consciousness. It does have it's evolutionary benefits though, doesn't it?

Good luck on your journey.

Answer 2

You'll find somebody special. Don't worry about it, it'll happen. But don't try too hard or you'll increase your odds of ending up with the wrong person.

I don't believe there is only one soul mate for each of us. I have met so many of them myself and it has caused me a great deal of pain in a sweet sort of way. There isn't enough time in life to marry each soul mate we happen upon.

The problem in our society is that we're so plugged in that we don't take the time to really listen to and talk to each other. If you unplug a bit from all the electronics of life and slow down and take the time with people, you'll be more likely to connect with somebody. Keep in mind that we also connect very strongly with people even when there is no romantic interest. Don't pass those up.

But you sound like a thoughtful person and I'm willing to bet you'll connect with a number of people in a very meaningful way.

I remember feeling much the same way you do back when I was in my teens and early twenties. It was a terrible feeling. But it was all for naught and it was a total waste of energy for me to have worried about it. But try telling me that back then -- I wouldn't have listened.

And by the way, a lot of these people you're referring to who are in their 30's, 40's and 50's have been married and divorced -- some several times over. Some are alone because of poor choices. So don't rush into anything or you very well could find yourself divorced after some time and be alone later in life. Choose well and let go of the fairy tale idea of "everlasting love" -- there is no such thing. Love goes away if you don't nurture it. Love is work -- but it's fun work. It's worth doing.

And to answer your question, I believe all of us are capable of finding more than one very special person. The real problem is deciding how special is special enough. There're a lot of really wonderful people in this world. You will meet a number of them.

Hope that helps.

Take care.

Answer 3

There is no such thing as A (as in just one) soul mate, hon. There are lots of men out there that will make lovely husbands and the "love of your life." And I agree, life is certainly better when shared. But most of us are in love many times with many men, maybe not men we would sleep with but many men. We make the best choice we have at the time we wish to marry. And that marriage though it may not last a life time, is still a successful marriage.... it did what it needed to do at the time -- it filled us with joy, with sharing, with children, and it may have worn out with time, just like teeth, cars, tires, and carpeting, but it was a successful marriage, one that neither would have regretted.....

Love is not everlasting -- nothing is guaranteed forever, sweetie, that just doesn't happen. I have friends, both men and women who have stayed together forever, and hated it. I have friends who have been married two or three times, and each marriage was, for the most part, lovely, for a long period of time. I have an old lady friend who lost her husband of many years to illness. She is now in her 80's. She met an old friend she and her husband knew when all of them were young.... his wife had died as well, and now she and he are "keeping company". It is charming..

I have another friend who married before she was 20. The marriage lasted 9 years, and it was a good marriage. They divorced, and remain friends still. He remarried, as did she. Her second husband became involved with addictions, and they parted, but before that happened, they stayed madly in love. They are still friends... He remarried for a third time, and she also has found a new "Heartbeat"..And they may marry or may not....but they are fiercely devoted to each other So, hon, no such thing as everlasting love.....

Part of this is because we all in the US and most First World countries live well into our 80's. Only 200 years ago, the average life span was 33.

So if you are looking for "everlasting" and ONE soul mate, you will never choose a husband, because you think the better guy is just around the corner.... and he may well be. So it is better to have a list of things you find attractive is a guy, and go from there, because marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust, and tho this bunch of stuff should never be given lightly, it certainly can be given more than once.

Answer 4

I'd agree with you. It's a hard thing to find. You may find him, by chance, when you're not actually looking. In a bookstore, maybe, or a mall. And it just so happens that you were made for each other. It could be said that before the stars shone, and the waves sighed, it was destined that the two should meet and be together someday, and for an eternity. But in the meantime, you must look and wait for him.

Good luck and best of wishes from a stranger.

Answer 5

Kim Cattrall, the actress who played the sex-fiend Samantha in Sex & the City, once said that there's no such thing as the big love of one's life. I guess what she may be saying is that, each love in one's life is a grand-amour in its own right. In this day and age, too many people are into quick-fix sex and, like plastic, all relationships can be replaced or recycled. Nothing is cherished, by a lot of people. Most people don't want to work at love; they often think it's supposed to be all magical and self-generating, which is nonsense of course. A great love is one who truly gets the meaning of the words, for better or for worse.

Answer 6

I'm afraid to say that I think not everyone is lucky enough to find, or marry, their soul mate. And its a hard choice to make -- wait and not settle and be alone, or love the one you are with and try to make it work. I did the second choice and its harder than I thought though I adore my children, I now know who my soul mate is but we are both married to others with children. This is not an easy life.

Answer 7

Well, I'm a little afraid of that answer. I think everyone deserves a soulmate but the cold hard fact is that not everyone in the world finds them. I asked my mother this exact question. She said that everyone has a soulmate. The hard part is trying to find them.

Answer 8

good if some thing unhealthy occur to ur soul mate u will discover anybody near sufficient. The little cliches that you will have within the dating if u r quite intended for each and every different it'll exercise superb

Answer 9

It's all about blind expectations. people create an unrealistic picture of who they see marrying. People are shallow and too hung up on appearance. When it's the inner quality of a person that is important. There are hundreds of people out there for everyone that you might consider a soul mate. There isn't just one. I wouldn't be worried about it..... Just re-evaluate your expectations. Make sure they are realistic.

Answer 10

the good news is ther e is no such thing as soul mates so stop looking, no one can ever find there excat perfect match , Many people could live with any one of ten thousand people ,, its about choice and committment and love and hard work ,, good luck with your search , i hope this helps