after 7 years I am still in love with my ex, y is that I am now marrd and feel terrible havin these feelings?

Question

I didn't know when I got married until I saw her agiain

Answer 1

I know what you mean Its over 20 years for me and know one will ever take her place and I'm still single but she decided to leave me and her children and there is nothing I could do. we just have to accept it and carry on and make the best of what we have got

Answer 2

Don't feel terrible. This is normal. Feelings don't just go away because we can't get along with somebody and have to split up. And besides, a divorce doesn't mean you didn't love her -- it just means you couldn't live with her. So stop feeling guilty. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. But it's what you do about it that counts.

Look at it this way, this won't be the last time you'll feel "in love" with or attracted to somebody other than your wife. This is about maturity. If you pursue every feeling you have about another woman, you're gonna be one unhappy man, guaranteed.

And we don't marry a woman because she's the best we could do. We marry her because we love her and she's who we want to be with. And there may be others out there who are also "right" for you -- maybe even more right than your present wife. But that's missing the point. You made a commitment to your present wife. Honor that commitment and if you have feelings about other women -- as I'm sure you will from time to time, don't feel guilty about it unless you're acting on those feelings. But if you plan to take action every time you find somebody more desireable, that will never end. Love and marriage ain't about the best we
could do -- it's about making a choice about who you want to invest your emotional energy in.

So as somebody else on here said ... stay away from her (the ex). That's got trouble written all over it if you pursue those feelings. So... don't feel bad about the feelings -- just don't act on them. Then there's nothing to feel bad about. But I assure you, your feelings are very normal.

Be grown up and make yourself proud. Focus on the relationship that you're in now. You've already tried and failed with the ex. This current relationship is most likely more promising. Sit down and make a list of all the wonderful things about your present wife and focus on that. Show her the list and watch her light up.

Hang in there buddy -- from what you wrote, I think you're pretty normal.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

Everyone, gets the old "what if", moments in thier lives. If the two of you really had something special, you would have married your ex, but you fell in love with some one else and married your wife. Your marriages just having one of those "quiet", periods, you know, when you have gotten a little board with each other, this will pass. Besides, you had not thought a bout your ex, untill you saw her again, if you really loved her, you would not have forgotten about her, it's just a tiny spark on an old flame, do not do anything to screw up your marriage, you will only break your own heart.

Answer 4

i will particularly plenty sum this up for you. Your ex has discovered a clean love, there remains an factor of you that feels some form of possession in direction of him because of courting you used to have. the sensation is nearly a splash fleck of jealously I think of. it fairly is nearly like in case you have been little and your mom had a backyard sale and offered considered one of your teddy bears which you probably did not choose anymore, yet then you certainly observed between the community toddlers working around and having a stable time with it. you will recover from it in time. it fairly is a organic and style of an instinctual feeling people have. basically attempt to place it aside and circulate on which include your existence and your love. i'm saying this assuming which you fairly nonetheless don't have the hots on your ex. ~Ed

Answer 5

well its normal to feel that way if thats your first love but I don't think it would be to the point where u would feel bad when it comes to the feelings for your wife. Ask your self this, "do I really love my wife" I'm not saying that you don't but maybe u got married so u wouldn't think about this girl. You rushed your love and thats not good. Let things pass for a while and just don't dwell in it but that doesn't mean forget it either. Good luck.

Answer 6

I still care for my ex but he's an alcoholic 24 year old who's still living with parents. Try to think of why you left your ex, or if she left you, think about why it didn't work out. Chances are, if things weren't perfect the first time around they'll be the same to this day. Stay with your wife. "Don't leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."

Answer 7

Your question sparks questions: what do you mean you lov her? Is it that she looked hot? You might be envying whoever has her now...The grass is always greener...
What about yr wife? Don't you love her? I'll say it again: the grass is always greener in your neighbours garden!
I bet you don't love her, it just bites u that she looks good and she ain't yours anymore. If you split from your wife (the one you got now) you'd feel the same about her if you saw her after years>>>

Answer 8

Seems you ex has a better body, personality, interests etc than the lady you are married to.

Answer 9

Some people enter your life for a reason, a season and, sometimes, forever. You may always love this person and, even though you are married, it is ok to keep your loving memories safely hidden.

Answer 10

its your first love you will never forget her fully but time is a great healer go away for a dirty weekend that will help
she is your past ever herd the saying the grass is greener on the other side