What would you do w/ a 12 yr old who is out of control for christmas?? She is failing 2 classes.. we have recieved 2 calls from teachers about her being rude. When we told her that because of her recent behavior christmas was going to be very "light" this year for her she became unglued. Example: Her oldest sister's step mother died this year in Oct. Leaving behind a 7yr old son. I explained that it could be worse than not getting presents that atleast she had her mom and to think about taylor . She said " He is lucky he will get more presents this year because everyone feels sorry for him" I have 2 other children that are little and I want them to have a good christmas but she is making it unbearable!! Anyone have any good suggestions to get thru to this child???
2006-12-09 13:34:32 · 13 answers · asked by GI 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Stick to your guns. As hard as it is going to be you can't reward this child for underachieving. If you give in now you will lower the bar and tacitly tell your 12 year old that failure is an option.
You have a challenge on your hands and I wish you the best of luck, love and strength in sending the right message to this child.
2006-12-09 13:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jewelhunter 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
is this the first time this has happened? She could be experiencing depression, or even bipolar disorder. I'm a tad older than her and that's how I acted before I was diagnosed with both dysfunctions last year. I made everyday a living hell for my family, and it was my brother's first Christmas!!
Take her to a therapist or a psychiatrist before Christmas (if possible) and see whats up.
Of course, don't reward her for bad behavior. Lay it on the line: she has this one week to get her act together or you will give her presents away. I'd say keep some so she won't have such a sucky Christmas. I dunno, seems like you'd be rewarding her: buy her only clothes or something not exactly fun.
Be careful; something like that can mentally ruin a kid. Tell her you're there for her and if she needs anything she can come to you. Help her with her work more and talk to a counselor at school about her behavior. In fact, go ask a psychologist.
Hope I helped ma'am.
2006-12-09 13:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by cattys_cats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't get her anything at all.
Have a normal Christmas for your other children.
I would ground her immediately and not allow her to go anywhere but school, errands, etc. No Christmas presents. No trips with friends. No going to other people's houses.
If she is not appreciative, there is no reason to keep being so nice. It is a GIFT, not an obligation.
But do keep in mind that, at 12, she is becoming a teenager and is testing her limits. It's not entirely her fault. So perhaps, if you speak to her and make it very clear that she is on the verge of getting coal for Christmas, she might understand. I'd tell her she must do well on all her last tests of the semester and also whatever assignments she has left during the year ... as well as being the very picture of politeness at school and at home. If she disobeys anyway, well, she knew the consequences.
2006-12-09 13:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's time this kid got a wake up call. I agree with the idea of taking her to a homeless shelter and having her volunteer to hand out toys. She needs to learn that she is priviledged and that she has had it good. As a matter of fact she needs to BUY a toy for someone underpriviledged and give it to them.
She also needs to be put in the school tutoring program to get her grades up. She needs to be restricted in her activities and priviledges (phone, computer, TV, etc) until those grades come up. If she doesn't like that she can lose them all until the next grading period is over. That will be rough on the family but reality HAS to click in now or you will have a teenager you don't want.
2006-12-09 14:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am thirteen and here is my advice(and what my parents taught me...)
1. bad grades mean no fun activities. no friends, no t.v. no computer, etc....
2. If I get a bad phone call from a teacher, I am grounded for two weeks plus number 1
3. My parents always explain that we only get as much as we can afford, and if I complain about, no presents,(or very few)
I hope you can explain to your kid about the situation. If I back-talked to my parents...... lets not go there.
Give her space too, you never know what will happen with Patience
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-12-09 13:56:00 · answer #5 · answered by Katie 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I dont think punishing her at christmas with a lesser number of gifts is the answer. You need to punish her NOW for her actions not on christmas for them. She is 12 what she is doing is normal for most preteen and it can and often does get worse as a teenager.
2006-12-09 14:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm too younger to have a boyfriend. But I could almost always flip to him and say with no smile: "Did you simply do this?" Then go my fingers. Let the deficient child work out if I used to be critical. Or I could with ease faux adore it did not occur and if he calls me out I'll do with the traditional: "Who smelt it dealt it"
2016-09-03 09:18:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get her anything. If she acts up, offer the local shelter her services for christmas. she can hand out Christmas dinner to the less fortunate and learn how good she has it.
2006-12-09 13:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should take the money that you normally spend on her and buy presents for needy children and make her help you hand them out.
2006-12-09 13:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by Summer 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
take her to a shelter and have her donate toys and then ask her if she feels lucky to be in your family, if not have her go to tutoring and get her something small for the holidays so you do not feel bad!
2006-12-09 13:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by Irie 123 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋