ok, i have security cameras throught my large home. i am in the military and of a high rank so i must go to all of the events hosted by the military. my wife and i were at an army ball (dance)at my work across the city, we rented a room down there because i knew we would be drinking at the dance and i dont drink and drive and neither does my wife. we left our 15 year old son house sitting all night...when we got back this morning my son reported having some problems around 12:30 last night... when i watched the videos i saw my son watching porn, masturbating in the living room, then going into the kitchen and washing himself off in the sink with the sprayer...he was sitting on the sink ledge naked and rinsing "his area"...what should i do, he doesnt know i saw this, he just thinks i saw the outside tapes but it records all of the footage on 1 film recording, so i have to watch them all.
2006-12-09 13:05:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
1. Why are you video taping your house, and your son, and watching it.. give the kid some privacy. What do you need that much security for? Get an alarm.
2. Do nothing, give the kid a break. Would you rather he was doing it somewhere else instead of in the safety of your house.
2006-12-09 13:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by coolmommy 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Realize that you have a normal 15 year-old son. Do you need these security cameras for the inside of the house? It seems rather unnecessary unless you are in great danger. People do things when they are alone that are their business. If you let your son know you saw him doing any of this you will humiliate him. Wait until a good moment (if he brings up girls, etc.) and talk to him some about guys and gals. Be loving. Perhaps you can throw a joke in there regarding masturbation - "Everyone does it, son, just make sure you take a shower after!" or something to that effect if you feel it is appropriate at the moment. 15 year-olds are easily embarrassed and he is doing nothing different than any other boy his age.
Best of luck and happy holidays!~
2006-12-09 13:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by Me, Thrice-Baked 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you have security cameras inside the house but it is good to find out that when you leave your 15 year old alone overnight that he does not call up his friends and have a party. You proved that you can trust him and I would not say anything about the film, just laugh that you know what he was doing. A 15 year old boy is going to masturbate often and sometimes not in his bedroom. One question is where was was he getting the porn from ~ TV or DVD's? Wash the sink well!
2006-12-09 14:37:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a talk with him about his changing body. Let him know that those feelings are normal for his age, but how to handle them appropriately when they do come. I have an almost 14 yo son and we talk openly about the physical and emotional changes. He knows that I expect him to behave better than that, and that just cause it feels good shouldn't be an excuse to do it. Calming the natural beast as soon as you can will make him more of a man than any army training you have. As the dad you have more power than you know to influence him to not have a life of masturbation and broken relationships as a result. I am a single mom now after 14 years of marriage because my ex had a huge masturbation problem from the time he was 15, and it turned into 3 or 4 very serious sexual addictions that almost landed him in jail.
Now I am raising 3 sons and hoping that I can teach them different behavior than what their dad has used as a compass to guide his life and actions. I am only telling you all of this because I know the heartbreak that can come from a life of instant gratification.
U don't need to yell or humiliate. Teaching him by telling him how you have handled it when you were his age will go further than making him feel bad. He isn't a bad kid. And don't tell him you caught him on tape. He will feel ashamed and hide, and maybe he will never confide in you. If he does seem to be fixated on it, you may have him go talk to an adolescent counselor who can give him some tools to re-direct his thinking and behaviour. You can tell him about this broken hearted divorced mom of 3 boys and what a simple thing like masturbation has done for my life.
GL. Go forth and conquer!!
2006-12-09 16:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would not punish him, but I would remind him that you do have security cameras in the house and that you saw what he was doing. I would talk to him in a quiet and mature way, just you and him. I would encourage him NOT to watch porn, if you and your wife don't approve of it. I would also tell your son that if he is going to masturbate, that it should be done in the privacy of his room and that the kitchen sink is not the appropriate place to wash his privates. He will be so embarrassed by that time, any punishment you were thinking of delivering will be moot. I would be careful what happens to the tape of him, don't keep it, as it could be embarrassing at a later time. I would not show him the tape either, just talking to him will be enough. Teenagers, don't ya just love 'em!
2006-12-09 13:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't know your thoughts on masturbation, or if you are uncomfortable with what he did, but at 15 this seems pretty normal...he did think he was alone, after all. Unless the porn he was watching was violent or disturbing, you should probably just gently let him know that the cameras are on in the house and that his bedroom is really the only private place for him to "be alone". Try not to embarass him - don't laugh, don't stare, just make your point and coolly leave the room.
2006-12-09 13:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by Emily O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a smart man, do the math>> young 15 year old boy
home alone
What else do you do? you either have a party or watch porn and masturbate, second choice was a lot less messy, but I would go ahead and scrub the sink anyway.
2006-12-09 13:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by MKM 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ugh, this is one of those awkward moments. Be honest and tell him you saw the tape, but tell him it only showed the top part of the TV and all you saw a porn vid on it. Maybe just ask him to do it in his own room. Dont punish him for doing it either...he's 15...be glad he's watching porn and not with girls.
2006-12-09 13:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by posquatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, what? The only thing he did wrong was masterbate to porn and you want to punish him? I mean maybe cleaning himself in the sink was inappropriate, but please, he could be out joyriding in your car or having a party with booze, but he stayed at home like a good boy and didn't have a girl over or have sex with her like many young men his age might. He merely played with himself. YOU ARE SO SICK! Let that boy alone. Give him a TV for his own room and let him enjoy his privacy. Talk to him about being sanitary. My oldest son taught my younger son to do it in a condom so there wouldn't be a mess to clean up. They are private and clean. Do you have a nephew or someone he can talk to that he looks up to? Doesn't sound like you have the resources to be understanding.
2006-12-09 16:37:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
calm it down a bit and don't be recording the inside of the house. you were young once and you probably did stupid stuff, what would you do if you found out that every time you did something like that it was caught on camera and that there were people watching. why doesn't everyone in the house know that they are being watched like that. if you had told them you wouldn't have this problem now.
2006-12-09 13:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋