2006-12-09 12:39:15 · 24 answers · asked by manna eater 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Flirting? Spending lots of time together? Holding hands? Kissing? I don't know where the line is drawn exactly.
2006-12-09 12:52:17 · update #1
sorry buster, that is still cheating!
2006-12-09 12:41:42 · answer #1 · answered by crafty lady 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It is drawn at spending time with members of the opposite sex. If you are married you have no business spending time with members of the opposite sex while your spouse is not watching.
Men and women can not be friends. Sooner or later sex becomes an issue.
If you are married flirting is unfaithful, spending time chatting with memebers of the opposite sx for fun is unfaithful, touching members of the opposite sex in any way is unfaithful unless you are lending a hand to hlep in some way. Even asking this questoin is unfaithful to your wife. (Please note I have not mentioned infidelity, unfailithful, not being true to)
ANd think about the other person you may hurt someone by sending the wrong message. The message that you are single and free to do what you want.
When you married you made commmitment now stick to it..
2006-12-09 13:03:46 · answer #2 · answered by raredawn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got to be kidding here. HELLO, it's all considered cheating. How would you feel if this was your wife's question??? If you can comfortably be around the opposite sex in front of your wife & not feel guilt then maybe you're ok.
My personal opinion, if you can ask us this question, 1.) you have other ideas of what's right & what's wrong and 2.) guys like you give what few good guys there still are out there a bad rap.
2006-12-09 14:18:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first-does your wife know? If she knows this girl, and she's fine with you spending time then ok. Be very very sure that this is ok with the wife, because if you are doing it behind her back then it's cheating buddy. If your wife is ok with you spending time with this girl, then you should ask her what you can or can't do. What would she be comfortable with.
Men and women can be friends, but when their is a spouse involved it can be heartache for them. You don't want to hurt your wife's feelings. She should be your number 1 in everything.
Say your wife doesn't like football, and she's cool with you going with "Jill" then that's ok. Or another sport or racing. But I wouldn't advise going to a bar or out for a beer. Anything that would be consider romantic or date like is a no-no. If you find yourself thinking of this woman first or more often then your wife, then you got trouble. Make sure that you keep your wife informed of when, where, and how long these "things" are going to be. Don't give her any room for being worried that something is going on. If you go to the ballgame with "Jill" make sure you take the wife to dinner. Or bring her home a little something.
Please be careful. Talk to your wife, keep in the KNOW. When you hide things, even simple little things-you won't be able to be trusted. Hopefully, you don't live in a small town, who's full of gossiping people either. Because there will be gossip for sure.
Remember, please please that the wife always comes first in everything. Don't put "Jill" ahead of her.
Listen to your wife, if she's has concerns about certain things. Make sure she knows that she's your number one 24-7. These kinds of relationships are hard to maintain without someone's feelings getting hurt, but it is possible. Just stay on your toes, and be respectful to both of these ladies. Good luck...
God bless us all..........
2006-12-09 12:57:41 · answer #4 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...this can be hard to answer because this varies from person to person. If it were me though, I would be okay with casual conversation and hanging out as friends in a public setting. I would NOT be okay with flirting, kissing, touching, going back to your place, going back to her place, or any other place where you two would be alone. One person did make a good point. Think about what you would not like her doing with other men and that may give you an idea about what not to do with other women.
2006-12-09 13:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is ok to do with the opposite sex while away from your wife. It may start out innocently like buying a drink in the hotel bar and end up in either her room or your room. If you are away on business attend to the bussiness and phone your wife daily. Stay out of situations that would give even the appearance of something going on.
2006-12-09 12:49:15 · answer #6 · answered by Country girl 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
What do you mean "away" and how long. You left out a few things here. If your talking about Iraq for say a year, then you may have a problem. It still would be cheating. With today's communications system you can actually talk to families twice a week so you can't say "I haven't heard..." but I guess it would be still hard.
2006-12-09 12:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here's the deal... Anything that you do -- if she were to find out about it and you could apologize for it and be forgiven -- well, that's okay then. But think about it this way... what would you be willing to tolerate. If you wouldn't like it if she were out flirting with other men, then maybe that's going too far. Because I think this sort of thing varies from couple to couple. But if you would be okay with it if you found out she was mashing with some guy -- well then, maybe that's okay. But if YOU wouldn't like to find out about something like that maybe that would be a good guide for you. And another caution for you... guys have a tendancy to begin to find fault with their wives in order to feel better about their own inappropriate behavior. In the end, this is very destructive to your marriage. So I suppose you might want to ask yourself what is going on in your marriage that you would want to be doing things with the opposite sex while you're away but you don't want it to be considered cheating. Sounds to me like your relationship could use some work. There's nothing better than being so into your wife that you don't WANT to do anything with anyone else. Sounds to me like you need to make some more investment in your relationship with your wife if you want to keep it. I'd say that your question is an indication of the very, very early beginning of the end. Whatever you're looking for, you're not going to find it doing what you propose. You're looking for something much better only you haven't thought enough about it to realize that. You can have what you're looking for with your own wife if you're willing to make the investment.
But having said all that... if you do go off and do a bunch of dumb stuff, don't go and tell your wife about it once you begin to feel guilty. You'll just burden her with your wrongdoing and you'll feel better and she'll feel like sh!t. And you'll be the jerk. So if you step out and do dumb stuff, live with your conscience on your own. Tell a trusted male friend what you did if you need to unload.
2006-12-09 12:52:20 · answer #8 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You obviously have other intentions, or you would not need to draw borders. There is no Grey area here, take them both out on the same date and see what happens. If you cannot, then stop seeing your "friend" and send flowers to your wife.
2006-12-09 12:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by Road 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is ok to do with the opposite sex except friendly conversation.
2006-12-09 20:23:41 · answer #10 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what would you be upset with if your wife did?
be honest with her. if you want office chitchat, ok. but if you want to hold hands or see a movie, ASK YOUR WIFE! if she says its fine, then good. but if she kicks your *** for even thinking of such things, then you will know.
2006-12-09 15:05:03 · answer #11 · answered by cathy g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋