My husband is a severe alcoholic and when is completely trashed he is extremely mean, smartass and occasionaly will smack me over something so stupid just cuz he's drunk. Now, we are seperated and have been for about a month and I am about 1,000 miles away from him but really wat do I do? It hurts so much to leave but I think he has really ruined anything I have in my heart and I even just want to move out and live ALONE...no men. By the way I have a 5 year old daughter with him...Wat do I do???
2006-12-09 12:37:46 · 44 answers · asked by MaRuCa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sweety dont go back.. for the best intrest for you and your little girl.. believe me i was a child with an abusive father and when we(my mom and i) left i was so much better!! i dont mean to be rude but girl dont let his drunkeness be an excuse to hit on you!! there is no excuse for phisical abuse or any kind of abuse for that matter.. but i think you should go on and just take care of your little girl,,let him have supervised visitation or sumn, if he hits on you sooner or later he'll hit on her too if he hasnt allready! do the right thing and hang in there.. if you need to talk e-mail me at thevoiceofparadise@yahoo.com
2006-12-09 12:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by abby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations. You are one smart woman. Many women stay with alcoholic-abusive partners just because they have kids together or because they are abusive "only when they're trashed". You are a child of God and deserve better than that. You may feel like you are taking your daughter's daddy away but you need to be happy in order to your daughter to be happy and besides, studies have shown that kids raised in abusive homes became bullies (a copy of the father) or they became abused (a copy of the mother) I think the best thing for you to do is to stay were you are, get a good job, enroll your daughter in preschool and do the best you can as a single mother. I hope you can have a friend or a relative to help you spiritually and with your daughter...having somebody to help you NOW is always good. I know you can do it...God bless you.
2006-12-09 13:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by dandelion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you did the right thing by getting away from him. You cannot help him if he doesn't want help. You did the right thing by getting yourself and your daughter out of there. If he cannot admit he has a problem and get help for his addiction, then you should probably file for a divorce. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. He can be a recovering one if he chooses.
Do you have a job? I would work and support your child and if your husband works, he needs to give you child support also. You do what you have to do to survive and give your life with your daughter the best that you can. Do you have family and friends who can help give you the support that you need? I am sure you will need to call them and let them listen to you as you need to vent or just to talk. You should seek counseling for what has happened also. Hugs to you. You are on the right track. I will be praying for you and your daughter. Don't let the negative past control you. You have a bright future ahead of you.
2006-12-09 12:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. My hubby is a recovering alcoholic and I don't think I would have put up with as much as you did. He got help because he knew I was going to leave. If your husband didn't get help knowing he was going to lose everything then you two are better off. Would you want your daughter to think she had to put up with something like that? I know I wouldn't. I say you stand your ground and IF he gets clean you can perhaps try to rebuild your life's together. But only if you really can put the past behind you. Otherwise be strong and take care of your little girl. Good luck
2006-12-09 12:41:56 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having lived with alcoholism all my life - first my dad now my husband I say that if you have a choice especially for your daughter stay where you are. It is hard to get over all the years my dad drank. I'll never forget the fear of driving with him in the car - that was in the 1960's way before Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. As young as 6 or 7 years old I knew he was impaired and was helpless to help him or myself. I was soooo scared all the time.
If not for yourself stay away from him for your little girl.
2006-12-09 12:50:52 · answer #5 · answered by PRS 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't go back to him now. He needs to accept the fact that he has a drinking problem and seek help, maybe then you can work things out between the two of you, but most importantly, you have to realize that by staying with him and letting him smack you around, you're teaching your daughter that that kind of behavior is ok and she'll end up in the same situation you're in now. Do you really want her to go through what you've gone through with your husband? Do it for her sake.
2006-12-09 12:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by letsgetagripalready 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-03 09:20:32 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is my suggestions since your husband is in trouble like many marriages where a husband is "somehow" alcoholic. The best thing you can do is refer him to an Alcoholic anonymous Center near you. Of course there will denials and everything.... but i think you can talk about this "problem" you have. Be honest with him. Then, you have to look also at your welfare including your child. If it is necessary to move out like what you did, better do it. But if you think you still llove your husband as well as the sacredness of your marriage, you have to help him recover. At the moment he needs some outside support since he's into alcohol. It is not easy to be sober....Good luck!!!
2006-12-09 12:43:16 · answer #8 · answered by bugi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very smart to put the distance between you. Just move on now while you are still young and can start over more easily. Yes it hurts but not as much as it will hurt you if you waste you precious life on an alcoholic. You only get one you know, life that is.
Put him behind you! For your daughters sake too.
2006-12-09 13:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by raredawn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put it this way:
How do you want your daughter to live her life? Is your relationship with your husband the model you want your own daughter to follow? Because, almost every girl ends up with a man just like her father.
If he is abusive to either one of you, then you don't even need to think about what to do. You can't stay with him.
Use this as a lesson to teach yourself and your daughter about love, and what your love is worth. You are both worth so much more than that.
2006-12-09 12:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋