When is it ok to move on?

Question

I went through a painful divorce, and that experience nearly destroyed me. I have been a mental and emotional rollercoaster for the past 2 years. Tried dating but it didnt work out. I still have so many hangups and issues...when is it ok to move on? How will I know that I'm "ok"?

Answer 1

divorce is painful, it does have a way of destroying us, if we let it. have u tried joining a support group of others who have had similar experiences. i too went through a bad hurtful divorce, took me awhile. but i had good people, and friends to see me through it, and it helped more than anyone will ever know. don't ever define yourself by what happened to u. don't ever blame yourself for it, find the positive things about u, i am sure there are many. sometimes we stay in the negative because of what we are telling ourselves. start to date but take it slowly, just baby steps at first. divorces are never easy, no matter how they treated us, sometimes we still love and miss them for a long while. we ask why, but sometimes theres never an answer.get some spiritual help.

Answer 2

You don't really say how it didn't work out. I'll assume that you started a relationship with somebody and that was what didn't work out. I assume that it's not dating in general that didn't work out. For starters, I think I would date at least three people at all times until you get your head clear. That way you'll be less likely to fall for any one person. Do your best not to get locked into anything. You sound like you're not ready to make any decisions about committing to anybody right now. So keep it light for now. Nothing wrong with that. And the more people you date, the better your prospects. We all have hangups and issues. It's what you do with them that counts. I think it's okay to move on any time. But I think that differs for each of us. Sounds like you've really been through the mill so it may take you longer to let go of the past than you would like. Best to work through this stuff though. Try to learn what went wrong and how you can avoid those same pitfalls in the future. The past has a way of repeating itself if we don't learn from it. You'll know you're okay when you can face each day with a bit of enthusiasm and when you're less fearful. To me, you sound fearful. That's just an observation, not a criticism. But I think we're more likely to fear things that we don't understand. So my thought is that understanding your past is the key to freeing yourself from it. Forgiveness is also a huge assistant to healing. Forgiving yourself and those who have wronged you is very freeing. As long as you carry your grievances around, you're more likely to have the same bad things happen to you again. I wish you the best and that you will soon find peace and that your life finds a better course. Good luck.

Answer 3

You need to talk to a professional, it will be the best money you ever invested in yourself. They will help you put your pain into perspective and you will also learn why you are an emotional rollercoaster.
It's not easy and you are not crazy it's just that what happen to you in your marriage raises it's ugly head when you meet someone else and brings back all the unfairness of it all and it will continue to do so until you can learn the skills to observe yourself from the outside looking in....sounds silly...but you relax and know your behaviour and reactions to situations that arise are normal but you can lighten up and be kind to yourself.
Knowing why you react the way you do and have understanding of ones self to someone elses behaviour toward you is of great benefit to you emotionally, only then will you let go of the past and move forward.
good luck

Answer 4

I think it's ok to move on when you feel emotionally ready. Divorces have got to be hard, when an adult friend of mine went through a divorce he talked to me about all the details and pain and he didn't get over it for almost 3 years. Don't worry or stress about it! Life's too short, so you'll be alright soon enough!

Answer 5

With my last divorce it took 6 months before I went out, but about a full year before I felt comfortable dating. With this divorce, the feelings were gone 2 months before I started filling out the paperwork, though I haven't started dating yet. It depends on you, and I believe it also depends on the circumstances. My husband keeps pushing for "one more chance" (I have already given him 5) and he is doing nothing but pushing me further away.

Answer 6

give it some time ,you will know when you are ready to date.you dont want to rush into a relationship so soon because it can seem like you are with that person for rebound reasons.you are to vulnerable to start another relationship.take this time to get yourself together mentally and emotionally.sorry about the divorce keep your head up and good luck..

Answer 7

Well, dont give up on dating.Do you want your X back ? Sound like to me you want your X husband back, which is o.k. if he want you back too,but if not you better shake it off and lean with it and rock with it.And get over those hangups and issues,life is to short.Maybe you need to take time out for your self.Just keep in mind life is for the living and you arent dead. KEEP IT MOVING!!

Answer 8

It is time for you to move on, in fact you are doing so, if not you would not even ask this question here.
It is not easy what you went through, but you are fine and now you are thinking for yourself and your life, which is great.
do not rush to anything but just try to enjoy everything and being with people and if it goes well dating .

Good luck

Answer 9

You are the only one that will know when it is time to move on. But remember if you keep living in the past you will not be able to move forward.

Answer 10

I was with ex husband for 7 years took me 9 years to truely love again and feel no pain from ex.