what can i do to save my marriage,when my husband says sex aint the same?

Question

i have 3 children and i am pregnant with my 4th and my husband always says that he cant feel himself inside of me.i know my vagina is not the same size when we frist meet.hello i had 3 kids,so i am considering surgery so i can get my vagina muscles tighter.i tried everything and notting works.did any of you have surgery so you can get your vagina muscles tighter?please help if you have any information

Answer 1

If you have had an episiotomy it will change the vagina a bit. Kegels will normally build the vaginal muscles back almost to the way they were before pregnancy. After a while your vagina should be back to normal. If you had C-sections, your husband is just an ****** looking for excuses.

There is the possibility he has a problem with his erections. Flip the script on him and suggest he see a doctor for ED. Yeah, he will get very mad however, the problem could be all his.

Don’t forget those Kegels. They worked wonders for my wife. She was just a bit looser after the natural delivery of our son. We were already aware of what would happen and we planned for the aftermath. Her firmness is BETER than before she carried our boy. For a 45 year old its like her Pu$$ie turned into Sunshine.

Kegels, Kegels, Kegels!

Answer 2

Sounds to me like your husband is a selfish pig. He helps to make the big family, but makes you feel like crap because of the after effects of the births. I have a big enough mouth on me that I'd tell my husband that if he'd been big enough around from the beginning that there wouldn't be a problem now! However, if you're seriously going to let his rude comments wreck your self esteem into having a procedure done to tighten your vagina do a lot of research on it first. Check for any negatives and the probability of it occurring. No man is worth your health, even your husband. I'd still consider telling him to blow it out his rear end. He help make your family too. He should look at those children with admiration, and completely appreciate them (not to mention what you went through to get them here). If he's thinking of only himself, you can too every now and then also.

Answer 3

This is kind a hard for me to answer but you can exercise your muscles down there. I do it like 60 times a day. You might wanna ask a doctor about it. I can't explain how to do it I just do it . But I always heard you go back to normal size after having a baby. But talk to your dr. And your husband shouldn't be telling you things like this. And the way I see it you can't be that big hell you have three kids already and one on the way. Maybe you might wanna tell him to go out and buy a penus pump and get bigger. Good luck and don't listen to your husband.

Answer 4

Try different positons. Some positions make it feel tighter than others. Other than that, exercise is the only thing I can tell you. They have books out on that stuff. In the meantime, your husband needs to chill out. He should be loving his wife, not complaining about something like that. Do not get surgery. That could ruin you for life.

Answer 5

1st of all...to improve a married sex life, you have to keep it fresh. I know that having kids probably got you warn out. Trust me, the real bad sign of your marriage if nothing changes and your husband stops complaining about the sex. That typically means he's given up and went numb or got some on the side. So consider oils, costumes, new locations, role play...remember keep it fun.

As for the Vagina thing...there are muscle flexs you can do to help contract yourself back in. It will but it needs some time.

Additional NOTE: Why are all the gals thumbdowning me? What did I say is wrong?

Answer 6

Try kegel exercises daily. Basically you have to clench in your vaginal wall muscles... it's the same action you do when you want to hold in your pee.

As for what you can do to save your marriage - I don't think the problem in your marriage is based on sex. There is a larger issue. For your husband to be considering ending the marriage because he can't feel himself inside of you is unfortunate and questionable to me. Maybe you guys should seek counseling. As much as a healthy sex life is important, who's to say that once your "problem" is fixed then the marriage will be back on track? Good luck.

Answer 7

The only surgery i had down there was after my first son was born. they had to make an incision then sow me back up and after that i had a couple more kids and my boyfriend has never said that i have loosened up. Maybe ask when your in labour if they can give you some stitches to make you tighter? I dont know if they will or they consider it cosmetic. Never hurts to ask.

Answer 8

I've never heard of having surgery to tighten your muscles...what does your husband want? If he wants to walk away just b/c sex isn't the same for him, then he's selfish...I know sex a huge part of marriage, but like you said, you've had 3 kids...things change, he should understand that...have you tried just spicing things up a bit in the bedroom? Ask him if he has any fantasies he'd like you to fulfill for him...good luck!

Answer 9

He should love you for having a family for you and him..... Hell my estranged wife & I were considering the exact same surgery, But only because she had cheated with another guy and when we tried to reconcile ...she was a bit out of shape....to be blunt about it.

Guys like that make me sick....because having a family with someone is truly priceless to me....It is ashame how some people take it all for granted.

Answer 10

Sounds like the man has a teeny weeny ... maybe if it's so bad for him, HE should get HIS problem fixed. I can't believe he's harassed you so much that you're asking this question to strangers like you're actually considering it. Is he so selfish and insensitive about all aspects of your relationship? Sex is NOT the problem in your marriage.