3 months ago I told my girlfriend I wanted some time apart because things were moving fast, and we were getting serious. She was very upset, but I insisted and I didnt see her for a month. When I realized how much I loved her I asked her to take me back. At first she was still angry at me, but she finaly took me back.We were happy for the past two months, but last week I asked if she had dated anyone while we were apart - I did not. I found out she not only did date but she even slept with someone she knows from her gym and someone from her work (at different times), she she had regular sex with both, until they both broke it off her. she was hurt by them using and dumping her as well as me rejecting her. Im jealous, but I know i hurt her too. we have discussed the details, though it is hard. this way i let her know it is ok to talk about how she was hurt,but also about how she enjoyed the sex, which she tells me she did, she has even told me new things i can try in bed with her...
2006-12-09 10:43:34 · 22 answers · asked by downtokissit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well
#1 You did not reject her
You told her you needed time apart.
#2 Saying you need time apart means you need time apart.
I don't know exactly what that means you guys should have been able to do, but if you didn't like her to have sex with other guys or something, you shouldn't have made up the "time apart" thing for you guys, then...
'cause that's not fair, to put those kinds of restrictions on her when YOU said YOU wanted the time apart
she probably had all that sex with different dudes, because she felt emotionally drained from you saying you needed time apart, and she was just trying to do a quick fill in, to fill that void (but that doesn't work.)
and for her to tell YOU about it, also seems like she was trying to make you jealous, or as a warning, like "Yeah, try to do this to me again"..."and I'll take all my loving away from you" or something
so she's feeling vunerable, like she has to protect something. still what she did doesn't make it right, she could have at least talked about it
this should have already been kinda established in your relationship, that when somebody's having emotional problems/upset, that you guys come to EACH OTHER for conversation and support about it, rather than to run to exes to make yourself feel better about it
her coping strategies are f***ed up, if you guys get into another fight, and she does something like that again you're probably all done for, anyway
you might wanna talk to her about that
you're not in the relationship by yourself, you have feelings too. How would she feel if you ran off with a whole bunch of chicks you knew from work and stuff, then come back and tell her that she's not doing her job right in bed.
2006-12-09 10:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by bun223 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you wanted a break and she got upset, but you left anyway and now you are jealous that she had other relationships while you were on your break? Now she feels compelled to tell you about her sexual antics and wants to try some new things that she learned? Good Grief, you two are a pair and probably deserve each other. She is still very hurt by your break and she is doing everything she can to continue to hurt you and it seems to be working. Maybe a good long talk with both of you being honest about your feelings is what is needed. You say you took the break because things were getting serious, what is your status now? Just want to be friends, going to run off on another break when things start to get serious this time?
2006-12-09 10:56:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want a fickle pickle? It doesn't matter that she has taught you new things in bed. Doesn't that make you feel a little cheap? If I were you, I would search for a girl that is true blue. She obviously didn't wait very long before jumping into the sack with someone else, let alone two people in a two month period. Of course the guys dumped her. They got what they came for. The next time you have a disagreement is it going to be OK for her to jump back into bed with someone, and then take you back. What about STDs?
2006-12-09 10:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by maggie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dude...this is one situation I do not envy. i guess if you really love her you can work through whatever. on one hand, you asked for it. on the other hand, not sure how you left it to start that month apart, but if things were kosher when you decided to spend time apart, the fact that she couldn't go even a few days before hopping in bed with other guys would definately bother me. However, if you left things bad...it's your own fault and do whatever you feel is right. personally, i wouldn't want to be involved with someone who is so quick to forget about me and sleep around...and all this happened within a month??? Of course there are lots of people who dont have to have any real connection with others before sleeping with them. But then, what does that say about her connection with you? Is it real or just as transitory as with those other guys? If those other f-buddies hadn't broken it off with her, would she have even wanted to get back together with you??? I don't know dude?
2006-12-09 11:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by brown bag 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer think of you ought to have asked her approximately her romantic existence collectively as you adult men have been "no longer mutually" – that’s a no no. Are you greater upset because of the fact she replaced into sexually energetic or which you weren't? i'm not sure why she might proportion the main factors with you yet i might say probable to make you jealous. in case you adult men opt for to attempt at a committed & monogamous relationship mutually then you definately ought to forgive one yet another and flow on. Take it common. in case you have no longer been in this relationship for an prolonged time and have not invested plenty and you provide it one greater shot and you have issues back…it’s probable ultimate you end it. If it includes ending the relationship for good, i might propose you're taking it gradual without work think of approximately what you opt for in a mate & relationship and initiate relationship. good luck! p.s. use double protection & get examined
2016-10-05 02:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by boland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a doomed relationship! I give it 2 years at the most, even if you marry her! My guess is that she will get pregnant, hit you up for child support for 18 years and you will always remember you had a chance to escape and didn't take it. Congrats! Your life just took a turn for the worst, you just haven't figured it out yet.
2006-12-09 10:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds worthless. Just because you wanted sometime apart and it hurt her, doesn't give her any right to do what she did. If she really loved you, she would have granted that time apart. Instead of opening her legs. Find someone better.
2006-12-09 11:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by nothing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you taking a break hurt her and she was probably just using the other guys to fill the void of you not being there. Either that or she is a sex addict.
2006-12-09 10:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so glad she did this to you.you deserve this you shouldn't of dump her because you had your head up your $ss it deserve you right know you should treat her like a lady and love her very much and remember that women can always go out and get sex any time they want. so you really need to treated her good and love her very much.
2006-12-09 11:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all "taking a break" is a dumb idea. Either you are in a committed relationship or you're not. If you're "tired of each other" or want to look elsewhere then you should break off completely instead of playing this little "I don't want you but don't want you to become involved with anyone else" game. It is childish and selfish.
2006-12-09 11:02:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋