why do so many men and women give single mother's a hard time?

Question

I had a single mum and so did my cousins, we are all now phds, lawyers, business people and so on. My mother never met anyone else and devoted her lives to us as did my aunts to their children. My Mum and my aunts are proffessionals themselves so did not claim benfits. Also, lot of chidren after the war were from single mother's. Why do we have such a terrible sterotype and seem to blame women for either not tolerating abusive relationships or for having unprotected sex then taking responsibility. Im not suggesting men are useless, but is there any need to critisise, when these men/women could end up widows/divorcees/unplanned pregnancy. Im sick of the judgemental attitudes or people on here with obvious cognitive issues, does anyone else feel the same, or are these just children with no life experience writing answers?

To the ones suggesting single mother's are costing more than ever. Children grow up and work and therefore pay taxes which in turn pay towards our pensions, so we do not need immigrants and so on. It is not as black and white as that. The goverment waste a lot more in tax money with other things!

Answer 1

It is simple, because in every religion their married couples. In no religion ever, has a woman been put on a pedastoel and stayed on it. Woman have no rights in any religion, except being married and being a mother. And so has it been for many centuries, so do you really think that what has been so for so long will change so quickly. Every religion is conservative, read their holy book and my point will be proven. We are still living in a society, where children have been and are being brought up with the same teachings as back then. So how can you expect total change, until all the religion don't change their attitudes torts women. Religion have input in every society and on every person, so if they gave a press-confrères saying their changing their holy books, so that men and women are equals in it. It would change a lot of opinions.

Answer 2

I agree with you. No woman should put up with an abusive relationship and should not be expected to remain in one. As for accepting responsibility after having unprotected sex, you're close, but you don't get the cookie. A person should be responsible enough to make sure protection is used during sex. It's like closing the barn door after the cow gets out.

IMO, it is wrong that there are so many people who don't place a stigma on being an being an unwed mother. A functional family with an involved mother and father is always preferable to a single parent household. Not only is it better for the child, it is also easier for the adults.

Two consenting adults should be left to their pleasures, but when a child is put into the mix, it is no longer about the adults.

Just because the government wasts a lot of money on other things, it is not a justification for wasting money on irresponsible people.

Answer 3

Years ago when women were single mothers because of the war or they were widows, they didn't say peep about it. They worked hard to support their families alone and never whined and cried that they are a single mother.

Nowadays, single mothers AND fathers always have to cry to everyone about how hard they have it almost as if looking for sympathy or a handout. I saw this all the time when I was a counselor for an agency that provided aid to financially needy families for childcare. Many of them had multiple children from different men and not married, lying about living alone when A man was living with them helping pay the bills. The majority of our clients were single parents, sometimes pregnant, and a very small percent were impoverished married couples. Therefore, single parents cost taxpayers more than ever.

Let me tell you that parenting and supporting your family is TOUGH with or without another parent. You just exchange one headache for another when you are a single parent.

The reasons for being a single parent is much different now than 60 years ago and the men and women were, in my opinion, tougher and had pride.


In response*****it's just NOT just about money and taxes, it is also about the child's well-being.
Because of the circumstances, many times they can't get the homework help they need of, pre-schoolers are left at homes that are not licensed or registered and are less than suitable because of the parent's desperation. It is very sad to see a beautiful little 3 year old girl, daughter of a single mother, being left with a 40 some year old male NEIGHBOR from 3-11pm because the mother has to go to work and has noone to help....who is suffering here???? Children end up loosing sleep and falling asleep in class because they waited up for their mom to come home at 11:30 p.m. and you ask them who were they with and they say no one.

This issue is WAY beyond what money can measure and our future is paying the price unfortunately. And all this because of irreconcilable differences??? The grass is greener on the other side??? Granted, there are exceptions such as blatant abuse...but most single parents tell me it just 'didn't work out'.

Answer 4

Have you also noticed that the people that cast aspersions onto single mothers are the very same people that would be first in the queue to claim benefits. I have two stepchildren and before my wife and I met she was classed as a single mother as she lived alone with the children. She also worked very long hours to support her and the children yet she was still looked down on by the so called tax paying fraternity despite the fact she was probably paying more income tax than they were. This all seemed to change the day we married and instead of seeing her as a single mum sponging off the state they saw her as a married woman. I think the best way to describe them would be as hypocrites.

Answer 5

If you had a single mother and you are old enough to have a Ph.D then chances are you were born before the current generation of chavs and dole scroungers that are so prevalent these days.

Single mothers in themselves are not a problem - it's the perception of them in the media that is and it is not helped when some single mothers actually seem proud of the fact that they get a "free" house and "free" money from the state.

With attitudes like that, is it any wonder that working people object to all this "free" money coming out of their pay packet each month?

Answer 6

<------- Is NOT a "dozy teenager!"


Thanks for sharing! This is actually an excellent outlet for sharing perspective.

I believe the real reason is jealousy!

most single mothers are doing it! Out there being independent and relying on no one where most men that have a problem with it have either a complacent homebody kind of woman that depends on them which makes them feel like a man or an equally dependent woman which keeps him from HAVING to feel like a man!

The women are jealous for the same reasons. They are either slaves with no freedom or 1/2 of a power couple.

I have been both, but I must admit, prefer the old fashoned way where the man takes care of the family BUT... you don't find many men able to step up and perform that role these days.

If a woman can do it without the influence or control of a man... MORE POWER TO HER~

Answer 7

I think there are several reasons why single mothers are blamed for their own predicament/thought to be teenage mothers etc.
Its partly stereotyping in the media and social attitudes.
Remember for our mothers generation it was unnacceptable, along with a lot of other behaviours we take for granted.
Then during the Thatcher years we had that prat politician speaking out against us.

But I also feel that some of it is to do with blaming the victim. Are you familiar with the rape myth? The basic theory is that we blame rape victims for a reason. We say 'you shouldn't have done this, then it wouldn't have happened' partly as an attempt to learn from the experience of others, and partly to reassure ourselves. If we never do that, we stay safe.

Answer 8

I comprehend precisely what you're dealing with...my significant different of three years left me while i became into 5 months pregnant, and after being depressed for a on the same time as I realised it became into for the terrific, why might i choose a guy like that throughout my existence besides.... It took me a on the same time as to open as much as adult males returned, i became into so petrified of being harm yet I realised that not all adult males are jerks and finally all started relationship returned. I even have consistently been up front approximately being a unmarried mum and consistently under pressure that my infant might consistently consistently come first no rely what and maximum adult males are rather cool approximately it and a few others run for the door yet i think its all trial and mistake. It took a on the same time as yet at last i stumbled on the guy of my desires and my son genuinely adores him besides and now calls him "Dad". So shop your chin up, its going to be complicated and don't be afraid to invite human beings for help, yet I promise which you will discover somebody which will love you and your infant!

Answer 9

For the most part mum they are threatened by your strength, and your character. They are insecure about their lives and mates as well. This may not help but millions of us have a very similar problem with these insignificant people. But they are very shallow, and will shatter to your simplist whim. So be careful for your children are you and they need to enjoy life as well. Best advice I can give is to not fight them but ignore their jealousy, and reflect their hatred with your smiles and push on into a better place of mind and space.

Answer 10

I have the highest regard for single mothers and single fathers. They have their acts together and build their lives around the most important and fulfilling people on earth - their children. If more people focused on their relationships with their children and the emotional support that comes from bonding on the ones who love and need them most, instead of searching for another adult to support them, we would all be stronger adults and children.
Blessed are the adults with children who will also be parents for those children. Many of us admire you - maybe you just don't know it.