Stay married or not? Ive been married 1time and are currently married now..So never had the fun time kind of life partying etc..it bothers me year after year..We have 3kids together..my husband and I kind of decided to separtate after christmas..But there were so many times i calle my hubby to just talk and come half way..he did not..he just complained about me calling just to talk to him.He cried the other day..bc he knew he had done me wrong..My parents are not behind me at all they just want me to stay with hijm so they dont have to help me and they can iknow i will be taking care of..I am on ly 29 yrs old ..MY hub went to his freinds house for hte weekend and it is nice and quiet here..I kind of dont miss him..I have no urge to call him and talk...I used to call him on every break and try to talk but he then didnt want to ..He said he really misses it now..but i feel its too late....So what do I do ??
2006-12-09 09:33:38 · 13 answers · asked by TexanByHeart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay married.
The only valid reason for a divorce if it your spouse is unfaithful.
Here are the vows that most people make before God and man.
"For better of for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, tll death do they part."
It's meant to be kept and a marriage is forever. I think that most poeple, however, mumble it as a noise, while thinking in the back of their minds that they might get divorced as some point.
Look at the answer by Caz, below - clueless! People are so caught up with the idea that they're supposed to be "happy," in a childish sort of way and that's what life is about according to the liberal though process.
I'd really like to have a law outlawing divorce except for the above noted reason.
2006-12-09 09:35:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that getting a divorce because you never got the chance to party or experience life as a single person is a lousy excuse. You guys both knew what you were getting into when you made the commitment. I am 31 years old and I have five kids and have been married now for 9 years. I had my first child when I was 19 years old. I truly did not get a chance to party. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like but I also know that my family is far more important than going out to parties and bars. Ultimately part of growing up is maturing so that you grow out of partying and you settle down and get married and raise a family.
I think that if your husband is still in love with you and you are still questioning whether or not to stay married then you still have a chance at salvaging your marriage. Your parents are not going to help you out especially at your age and if they know your reasons for splitting up.
You need to let your husband know how important he is and the family is. Tell him you want to work on new ways of spicing up your marriage to make things fun and exciting again. You guys can throw your own little parties once the kids are asleep. Trust me, three kids are much easier to handle than five!!! I think you are just feeling stressed out by the kids and alot of other things that are probably happening right now that make your marriage more difficult like financial issues. This is the worst time of year for that.
Good luck. I hope things work out for you both!
2006-12-09 09:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Partying is not all its cracked up to be. You kind of passed on that opportunity. I do know that there is little more sad than 30 something single mom's trying to make up for lost opportunity while the kids are at dad's for the weekend. You just don't know how old that gets, or how quickly.
He might have "done you wrong" but if you were calling him at work to talk its lucky he still has a job.
It sounds like you need to sit down and figure out if there is anything left to salvage. If there is, get it together and work on it.
You are in for a very rude awakening if you think the tavern life is a lot of fun when you have kids to deal with. A little maturity might help as well.
2006-12-09 09:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and your hubby are getting a divorce just because you never got to party, I think you shouldn't get a divorce. The two of you can still go out clubbin' or partying, if you have a babysitter. You don't have to be single to go out and have fun. But if on the other hand, you just don't have that kind of love for your husband anymore than yes I think you should get a divorce. You shouldn't stay in a relationship if you're not happy.
2006-12-09 09:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to grow up. You're confusing love with emotional dependancy. It's not fair to either one of you for you to sit on the fence here. You obviously want your cake and eat it too. Well, life, and certainly not marriage are not like that. A marriage can be the most wonderful thing in the world if it's solid and healthy. That takes work and willingness to commit to both it and your spouse. Make the effort to look at what you have instead of fixating on what you don't have.
2006-12-09 09:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're feeling you're missing out on something. You got married and had your kids at a relatively young age and didn't really go out and enjoy yourself before settling down. Now that you're getting older, (not that you're old, by any means), you want to go out and experiment, whether it's the party life or maybe having an affair, or whatever. Believe me, you're not missing out on anything. If you love your husband, stay with him. Maybe try to spice up your romance with him, if you feel in a rut.
2006-12-09 10:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would prioritize raising kids. You and hubby should talk about how to be a family and not who gets to party or hang out at friend's house for the weekend. I would recommend you see a counselor or someone who has some training in relationships. Your parents should be there for support and not be your ticket out of your marriage and family.
2006-12-09 09:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by thkiabdks 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That means u r bored with ur hubby. And ur life boat is moving like Tortoise. Make it like a horse or else break it buddy. Otherwise u will miss ur Life & valuable time and memories.
2006-12-09 14:50:57 · answer #8 · answered by viju 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have children now and after you have children, there is no more partying.... your children are your first priority. if you are not happy in your marriage then maybe counseling will help. but you should try to figure out why you dont want him around. stay home and raise your chidlren!!!
2006-12-09 10:41:51 · answer #9 · answered by maria p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
add spice to your life......men arent the only ones who can walk away from their responsiblity......stay a good mom.....regain what it is about you that make you YOU.....knowing who you are makes you a good mom......and go get you some.......stay married.....keep that dirty bone in the closet.....but have an affair.....sometimes affairs make you realize what you got.....or what you want.......
2006-12-09 09:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by Cece B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋