i dated a woman for a few months about 5 yrs ago....but we have remained really good friends since....about 4 yrs ago she started seeing a new guy and i was really happy for her..i dont have any feelings of romantic nature for her anymore...i dont get to see her much cos i went back to the uk and i came back to nz every couple of yrs...well im back in nz for good and this guy is really pissed off that we stayed friends..she has to lie to see each other otherwise she has massive arguements with him...she told him im back in the country and he thru a massive tantrum...she told him that he has to deal with the friendsship or its over..but she loves him so she prob wont go thru with it...i want to say friends with her..but he can get nasty verbally if i ever catch up with them..i want to walk away but her friendship means to much to me..but right now im thinking its not worth the hassle...any ideas and thoughts?
2006-12-09 08:51:54 · 23 answers · asked by kiwitboi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Remain her friend, we all need as many as we can. She is the one that has the problem, so let her do as she sees fit. When she leaves this loser accept her appology and go on being frinds as though nothing has happened. That is what freinds do and are. Good luck
2006-12-09 08:55:03 · answer #1 · answered by Full of Life 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The fact that you're so anxious to hang on to the friendship suggests that maybe (deep down) you really still carry a torch for her?
On the other hand though, It sounds like this guy is a very possessive type and he may be doing her more harm than good. It sounds like she needs all the friends she can get and dumping them all for this guy isn't a good idea. As soon as he gets bored he'll be off.
Stay friends with her but just don't see her if he's around, that way, she knows you're still there for her and you haven't just abandoned her. I'd keep out of his way though!
2006-12-09 16:57:50 · answer #2 · answered by kpk 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tricky one this....if u stay friends her relationship could be over and it'll be because of you. If he's such a bast ard (as it seems) then the relationship is doomed anyway because there will always be something that he throws a tantrum over. If u walk away you've lost a friend through someone else's insecurity. Tell him to grow up because you're not going anywhere.
2006-12-09 16:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by Hot British Guy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe if you do meet up with him and let him see for himself that you are no threat i had the same prob with an ex wanting to stay friends but we have stayed friends even though her new bo was not comfortable with the situation we got together at a party so there were plenty of people around and it was more comfortable he saw for himself that i would do n e thg for her but the feelings were as friends and nothing else
2006-12-09 17:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If htis woman is REALLY your friend then she will not tolerate her man being abusive to you in any way, shape or form. I say that if she cannot keep him in line or breka up with him, then tell her that your friendship with her is over. You do not have to tolerate any of his BS, so DON'T! If your friend is any friend then she will do the right thing (even though she is a woman).
2006-12-09 16:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by James 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you're probably right, it's too much of a hassle. Just let her go, this is also causing problems in her relationship. See what she thinks.
2006-12-09 17:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he is very jealous of what you had between you both and sees your return as a threat to his future happiness.
2006-12-09 16:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to her whenever you can and tell her how much her friendship means to you, and tell her that a guy that guy that really loves a girl never makes her end a friendship, if you really care about your friendship with her,don't let anybody ruin your friendship with her. you guys just talk it out. if you need more advice or need to talk to someone, just e-mail me at fabi_2792@hotmail.com
2006-12-09 17:12:10 · answer #8 · answered by cutie pie27 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Her boyfriend seems really petty and insecure. But ask her what she wants, she may still have romantic feelings for you and it isn't fair to put a strain on their relationship.
2006-12-09 16:58:09 · answer #9 · answered by thomastalkson 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well that is a tough one...but I think you can understand how he feels...not that it is right or its wrong, but you know...protecting his turf so to speak...so maybe you should just bow out if she isnt willing to put her foot down, but at the same time if she dumps him then maybe she is thinking you are the replacement, which you dont want...
sorry sounds like a bit of a mess...
2006-12-09 16:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋