We often hear about domestic violence when the man is the violator. Does this mean men are never the victim?

Question

I am talking about male+female relationships

Why do you think it never reaches the news?

Answer 1

In the British Crime Survey, which records the public's experiences of being a victim of crime, rather than reported rates, 15% of men reported that they had been the victim of violence from a partner or ex-partner. Some of these may have been in a same-sex context however, the data doesn't distinguish.

A large study was done recently on DV in the UK based on 1889 incidents, and 10% of perpetrators were recorded as female.

I suppose it doesn't reach the news because that means that around 90% of perpetrators are male. This makes it an unusual crime. Although male offenders far outweigh female offenders overall, female offenders make a significant contribution to most categories of crime (drugs, theft, driving, etc). The exceptions are sexual offences, and violent assualts committed in the domestic context. Whereas overall men are more likely to be the victim of violence, this changes when you look at the private sphere, and suddenly women are three times more likely to be the victim.

In other words, while DV can be a crime committed by women against men, women are at far greater risk. Also the degree of harm inflicted on victims tends to be greater the perpetrator is male.

Answer 2

As others have stated - Men are often the victim.

My ex-girlfriend used to get violent, especially after a few drinks - but nothing serious and it was only a few times. Like most men, I would never, ever consider any type of violence towards a female - even if provoked physically. Some women take advantage of that and know they can strike out at will.

Men should never feel embarrassed or feeble if they're the victim of domestic abuse & become a punch-bag for their partner. I've studied Krav Maga and know I'm not feeble so happily admit I took a few punches from my ex.

The first time my ex-gf hit me, I just walked away and the following day told her never to let it happen again.

The second time she hit me, I walked away again. The following day I dumped her and never looked back.

Anyone that strikes their partner is an a*sehole - regardless of sex.

Answer 3

Speaking as a police officer, I have seen domestic violence directed at a male partner, granted not as often as with a female victim, it does however happen, it doen not get reported as much as it occours or as much as it should because some men feel ashamed to be the victim of verbal or physical abuse where the attacker is their female partner. It no lesser an offence, but there are more support organisations for female victims of domestic violence. Most men cant even tell their male friends because of bravado.

In short yes men are victims of domestic violence

Answer 4

Domestic violence against men goes unrecognized for the following reasons:
The incidence of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.
It has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.
The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable to most people that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.
The counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women. Not enough has been done to stop abuse against women. There has been very little investment in resources to address the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men.
In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women. The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others.
Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished, men usually end up feeling like nobody would believe them. It is widely assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or while playing contact sports. Women generally don't do those things.

Answer 5

It never reaches the news because men never want to admit they are being abused or that a woman is committing domestic violence against them because it takes away some of their self esteem of being a man. There was a case where a little boy was beaten and killed. The mother made the husband just throw the boy in the backyard and this guy did say it was because of his wife.

Answer 6

Erin Pizzey, the founder of the first women's shelter in the UK, stated that many of the women in her shelter where more violent that the husbands they were seeking refuge from, and she is famously quoted as saying "men are gentle, honest and straightforward, women are convoluted, deceptive and dangerous". She recognised the need for men's shelters, but she couldn't raise the necessary funds to start any. It was her great regret that the movement she started became increasingly politicised, and less concerned with the welfare of battered spouses.

It's not really hard to understand why this happened; women constitute the majority of the vote in Western countries, so any politician, male or female, who takes an interest in "women's causes" increases their chances of getting into office enormously. Even the most altruistic politician wants to get into office first and fore-most. That is why it is such a political hot-potato, and also why you don't hear about female instituted domestic violence as much - there is no political capital to be gained from exploiting it.

Have you ever heard of the Fiebert bibliography? It is a collection of the findings of hundreds of studies on domestic violence. It's summary was:

"This bibliography examines 196 scholarly investigations: 153 empirical studies and 43 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 177,100." (link below)

Personally, I don't know of any men who have not been physically attacked in one way or another by a woman; just because men are generally bigger, it doesn't mean that it's not violence.

I mention all this not to try and show that woman are nasty and evil, or that men are all sweetness and light, but merely to show that it's a very complicated issue, and it's certainly not as simple as "men=bad, women=good" (which is what large portions of the media would have you believe).

Answer 7

I know for a fact that men can also be the victim of domestic violence. I even know of a man who was such a victim. But he never reported it, and I would be willing to bet that most men would also not report it if it happened to them. I think our society might look down on men who reported domestic violence against them, because of the feeling that men are supposed to be the stronger one.

Answer 8

Men don't tend to report domestic violence as often as women do. Possibly fewer men are victims of domestic violence, but it certainly does exist. My brothers and sisters and I watched our father being abused all throughout our childhood. Both our parents have passed away now, and we realize that our mother had serious mental health problems. But men and women both have always been victims of domestic violence.

Answer 9

Men are all to often also the victims of domestic abuse. It's not only violence that is an issue in domestic abuse, but also financial, emotional and sexual control/abuse. I suppose in a society where it is almost seen as laughable (which is totally unacceptable) that a man could be physically or otherwise abused by his partner/wife many men are naturally reluctant (as indeed are many women for fear of escalation of the abuse) to disclose this as they will either be ridiculed or demeaned.

Answer 10

Working with victims of Domestic Violence, I see both male and female victims...albeit the majority are females.

I think men have difficulty in reporting Domestic Violence on them, probably a matter of pride.

Its a sad state of affairs!