Mixed emotions unsure feelings
yea u told me u loved me
but did it come from the heart
you can tell me ne thing
but do u mean it
i must admit it was good while it lasted
but every good thing must come to an end
now we must depart and go our seperate ways
gotta find something better or someone who loves me for me
6 mos 2 weeks 4 days (damn u still here)
time went by and u still got a hold on me
i have to learn to let go or better yet let you go
why settle for less when i deserve so much more
waste of time, a broken heart w/teary eyes, and a no good *****
thats what u were, thats what u did, and thats what u are!!
2006-12-09 08:04:33 · 8 answers · asked by lilpimpmisses 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
There's obviously intense feeling in this poem, but you use a lot of cliches. Could you think of more original ways to express your feelings -- maybe describe some of the good things, and how they went wrong? I know many people will relate to what you've written.
2006-12-09 08:15:00 · answer #1 · answered by Alex 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay I wasn't really into I'm also into writing poems and have posted a bunch of my work on yahoo and have gotten comments both good and bad.But they have help be grow as a poet it seem to be slightly cookie cutter make more unique methaphors other then you broke my heart!
2006-12-09 16:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds good, real good but...... Is it a poem? There is no steady rhythm or beat, like timing. (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3). and there are no rhymes. Maybe it's Prose. Anyway, it's nice, you did an excellent job of composing it.
2006-12-09 17:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by Bob N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Diary entry - possibly therapeutic - solipsistic - sincere but generic
2006-12-09 16:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by allsphears 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was good..hope everything works out for you!
2006-12-09 17:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by ms2o2c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like it could be put to a beat...Go for it!
2006-12-09 16:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by boots 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that poem is really good.
2006-12-09 16:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by Shizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty good. a little rude, but still good.
2006-12-09 16:08:43 · answer #8 · answered by Sarai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋