Would a wife remain in a marriage for 27 years if she did not love her husband just for the children' sake?

Answer 1

This site is so odd. When there is a question about divorcing or cheating on a spouse everyone screams what a slut/loser they are. They when there is a question about staying together just for the kids everyone says how awful that is. Which is it? Follow your heart or not? Stay with your spouse no matter what or not? There are so many shades of gray but I find some who answer on this site are on the extreme side. Not everhone is lucky enough to be married to their one true love which is what leads to us having this Q&A site. Just an observation.

Answer 2

My mother did it ... well actually, it was 25 years. She did love my dad, but I don't think they were in love with each other. They did their own thing, and he was a real jerk a lot of the time. I found out later that my mother had had an affair with an old friend. The affair lasted a while, but my dad never knew. He worked a lot. I am glad they stayed together because looking back on my childhood, I never really knew they had a bad marriage. So in this situation, it worked. But I do not recommend that anyone stay with a person they don't love just for the kids. Many times it backfires because the kids grow up knowing that their parents hate each other and it makes the kids insecure. I think my family's case is an exception.

Answer 3

My grandmother was not happy in her marriage, mostly because she was not happy with herself. She stayed with my grandfather for my mother's sake. or so she said. She continued to stay after mom left home, she missed my grandfather more than she expected to after he died.

I believe that most people do not understand that love is in part a decision. the emotion of love ebbs and flows during a long term relationship. I love my husband but we are not always romanticly stimulated by each other. When life is stressful or we are focused on things other than each other, we may not feel like we are in love. If we chose to stay through the hard times, look after each other, and seek to be whole ourselves, then a deep abiding love can grow.

We should not be surprised that this kind of love does not look anything like Hollywood's portrayal.

I hope this helps.

Answer 4

The answer is yes and I've seen it several times but what most people don't realize is staying together is the worst thing you can do because children are very responsive to stress and anger. it is NOT a good environment for a child to grow up in. better to go your own ways and have a relationship with your children in a calm and loving environment. they will adapt without all the trauma. my parients stayed together for 28 years just for 6 of us kids and one day I told my mother that all us kids would rather they divorced rather than listening to their fighting and screaming all the time. They divorced and we all have great relationships with both of them today.

Answer 5

It is quite possible. Women put their kids first in most cases and a woman could go this far. Plus it keeps her from having to find them another father figure and it keeps him there to be as miserable as she is. Because more than likely if she doesn't love him, it is because of something he did to make her feel this way toward him and what better pay back then to stay with him and make him completely miserable too.
And as you get older in age who needs love when you barely feel like have sex anymore. All you really need is someone to argue with now and then and a warm body to snuggle up against when it gets cold at night. I know all this cause my mom is older and we are practically best friends.

Answer 6

Yes.

Children come first. Once you become a parent, you're in the backseat and can no longer afford to be selfish with life changing events.

Answer 7

Easy! She's forsaken her own happiness for the rest of her life as she knows it. Kids, home, money, life in general all gets kissed buh bye when you opt to end the relationship. What may seem cut and dried to you isn't such an easy choice to make when you're livin it....

Answer 8

People do it all the time. They want their children to have a stable environment. It is a sad situation, but at least she loves her kids!

good answer dmjrev!

Answer 9

yeah but that is the world's dumbest idea. it's better for kids to see their parents split up and getting along or at least being civil to each other than being in the same house and fighting constantly. whenever this happens, it's always the kids that suffer most.

Answer 10

It could happen. It's just as likely that she's convinced herself that she never loved him if she's looking for affection outside the marriage. People tend to rewrite history that way.