her mother(Mai)doesnt want her to keep the baby,she wants her to put her up for adoption, her father(Fuhua) wnats her to keep the baby, my gf(TingTing)wants the baby more than anything, and so do I. Do you think her parents should let us keep our babay or let the baby go???
2006-12-09 07:44:24 · 25 answers · asked by jiyangu c 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
yes every body put up a question probably because we found out she was 2 months pregnat yeaterday by accedent (we found some dr reports on the kichen table when we came home from a friends party)
2006-12-09 07:47:37 · update #1
Well I'm sure you both want the baby. But do you really think you're going to be able to take care of something so needy? Your just kids yourself. I don't think most kids put too much thought into something this intensly difficult. "Ooooh it will be cute and it will be ours. Created by our love....." And whose getting up at night and feeding the baby? Whose paying for the baby? Are you really willing to support this baby and take care of this baby the way it deserves? Are you going to be able to get a full time job and keep your grades up? And how much time does that leave for the baby?
Are you really willing to give up being a 15 year old kid to be a parent? Like I said, I'm sure you want the baby. But can you really take care of it the way it truly deserves to be taken care of or are you going to pass the baby off to your parents. And I'm not saying that is the case, but was it to be the case, (and it most likely would be), why not give the baby to a loving family.
I really don't want to tell you what to do. But answer these questions as honestly as you can and make your own decision.
2006-12-09 07:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by ♥N,K,E&DJ'§ Mommy♥ 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
WEll, it would be pretty much her parents (or yours) raising this baby as both you and your girlfriend need to finish school and grow up some. You can't do it alone!
Here is something to consider: open adoption. This would allow you to be in the life your child while it is being raised in a caring and loving family environment by someone who can take care of the baby like I'm sure you know it deserves. Do some research on it. I know that I couldn't give up a baby (no matter how young I was) in a regular adoption in which I would likely never see my child again.
You really need to consider what is best for you and your girlfriend, your families and, most importantly, the baby. You have some serious soul-searching and thinking to do. Don't be selfish or think you are more mature than you really are. Be as honest and open with yourself and weight all of your options. Once you and your girlfriend start talking about your next steps, sit down and have a serious and open-hearted discussion with your families.
I feel for you, and I can't imagine going through this at your age. Your life is about so much more than just yourself now, and you have to start thinking with more people in mind and about others' interests too.
2006-12-09 07:53:00 · answer #2 · answered by amyo4190 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Untimately you and your gf made the decision to have sex so you need to be prepared to deal with the consequences, so it is up to the 2 of you. Just figure out if you are ready for the responsibility - financial as well as emotional and sit down to discuss it.
Who will care for the baby when you 2 are at school, who will support it financially, what happens if the baby gets sick - who will provide medical insurance, who is going to sit up all night long with a screaming baby or toddler who refuses to go to sleep, who is going to pay for food/clothes, etc...
And please don't just assume stuff like WIC, food stamps, and free health care are the best options because those are really for the people who NEED them.. not the ones who accidentally got pregnant.
Also, either way you decide, you and your gf may need counceling becaue its a lot of stress any any age.
If you go for adoption - there are plenty of financially stable families out there who would love to have a baby to love and raise.
If you keep him/her then just be prepared to have your entire lives change - the world will no longer resolve in any way around you - it is all about the baby.
Do what's best for the baby basically.
Good luck.
2006-12-09 07:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by Rae T 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
keep i,make the father of the baby to be, pay for child support and pay for mom too
it does not matter what you have to do to keep the baby, we are not talking about a puppy...mom keeps the baby, even if she goes to school at night to get her GED..and the fathers of the baby works, either days and or night or both to support the mom and the baby, it is not the babies fault why take it out on the baby, two ( so called.....children acting like adults ) need to step up to the plate and do whats right PERIOD...
and that is mom takes care of baby during the day, while grandma and grandpa goes to work, and mom goes to school at night and work weekends too. and mom does not go out hanging with friends..she has a BABY now..take care of it..like moms do..and dad works and pays child support COURT ORDERED....period
this is not a game..it is life.
people say OH your too young, hey made your bed lie in it..PERIOD
end of story, nothing else to say just be grown up sooner.that's it
GOOD LUCK !
2006-12-10 10:07:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can find a way to get clothes, food, and her mom wouldnt make her and the baby leave then yes you should beable to but if you can get food, clothes, or a house then no it would be fair for the baby or your girlfriend or the baby and if you do put it up for adoption get an open adoption which is where you give the baby to another family and you can still see your child.
2006-12-09 09:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by eaw_mkj 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The parents can not force you to give up the child. 15 is VERY young to be having a baby but I will not lecture you on that. Odds are once that baby is here the grandmother will see it and wont want it to be given up. But you are young how do you plan on supporting this child without the help of the parents? I wish you the best if it was me I'd have given it to a family that could support it so that I could still be a teenager but thats just my opinion. Call your local human services they can discuss your options with you.
2006-12-09 07:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
1st of all if the doctors papers where on the kitchen table it wasn't an accident. I think she needs to make this decision on her own her parents are welcome to give there opinion but she is the one that has to live with the end result. and it is nice to say you want the baby but don't marry her for the baby just be responsible and help her support it until she is old enough to make the decision on marriage. Good Luck
2006-12-09 08:09:27 · answer #7 · answered by carmenjesusvenegas 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think your parents should either take care the baby or adopt.
Good luck with that. In terms of other things, I chose to remain silent. Be very glad her dad, did not kill you on the spot.
(Also forgive me for being a bit suspicious, that one individual is just curious what people's reactions will be. I fully confess that while it generally takes two to tango, as a guy, I do expect more of the guy in terms of not creating these kind of situations. Generally the guy is older, so well, that is part of it.)
2006-12-10 05:43:59 · answer #8 · answered by rostov 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do what you want. but remember how hard it will be. i just had a baby, i'm 19, have my own apartment, support myself, have a job, blahblahblah and i still am having problems with money. on top of that it's very emotionally draining taking care of a baby. money has nothing to do with having to get up every two hours in the middle of the night to feed him. and it's harder for me cuz my ex left me, i was planning on having a family but now i'm alone, so at least there are two of you to share the burden.
ask yourselves if you are mature enough to do this, and if you are not 100% positive you can handle it then it is better to give the baby to someone who will be. you have to be sure that you can do it yourself without the help of her parents, what if they are not there to help you one day?
2006-12-09 07:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by pikachu 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you love her then stay together and keep the baby ,but if you are only staying together for the baby then you need to split up a baby is hard work, and you will have to try not to get frustrated at the baby or her. You will also need to git a job If you don't how are you going to support you're family
2006-12-09 07:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by kjorahe 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋