My husband (25) and I (20) have been together for 3 years and married for one. Throughout our relationship I have noticed that we have lost respect for one another and are not able to settle our differences. It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking about filing for divorce.
2006-12-09 07:42:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what you need to do is work it out but if you lost the love then leave his ***
2006-12-09 07:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want it to work you have to be the bigger person and let go of the anger and the "lost respect" for him. You have to take the first step and love again - fake it until it's there. If it's going to work someone has to take the first step and making yourself respect him will eventually become a reality. Think of what brought you together, look back at your wedding pictures. When you're arguing step back, think respect and settle. It's 100% totally acceptable to disagree because being human we all have our own ideas, own thoughts you both just need to respect that in each other. When you start showing him love and respect and caring again he will change too. Kiss him when he comes home from work, kiss him when you leave. Tell him you love him even if the thought of saying that makes you want to puke right now. You will come around and when you do, he will too.
And IF it doesn't happen you can say you were the bigger person and you really did give it your all. Too many people these days give in too easily because the going gets tough. I'm one of then and hindsight is 20/20 and while I thought I did all I could, I didn't. I wish I had done all of what I'm suggesting that you do. I honestly think it would have made a difference. Good luck to you!!!
2006-12-09 08:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by girlysledgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it honestly depends on you and what you want. Everyone can tell you what to do but you have to be the one that is comfortable with your decision. Being married to young is not your problem. I married at 18 and have been married for 15 years now. Very happy. I will say that marriage is not easy. Communicate. Ask him what he wants decide what you want. Do you love him enough to stick through the bad times. If so then try to communicate your feelings to him, tell him what you just ask. If you see that that causes problems and more argueing then try a little time apart to give the both of you time to think about what you want and need. I could go on and on(but trying to make this short) because I/we have been through it ALL together. From total incapatibility to losing a child. So what it boils down to is, what is in your heart, what makes YOU happy and comfortable. Giving up is the easy way out. Take care and best of wishes!!
2006-12-09 08:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by Hap s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, I have been in your shoes. I love my husband more than anything, but his mom made me lose all respect for our marriage and relationship. I wanted to divorce him because I couldn't live like this. I had to stay strong though because it wasn't completely HIS fault, and I still loved him, and for our son. We fought CONSTANTLY, and I always felt like crap...but I looked inside myself, and found that a love strong enough for marriage deserves a better chance. I went back to sending him cute little messages/emails, writing him little high school love notes, and hugging him, kissing him, cuddling him all the time. I made time for special things like watching a movie together, going to bed early to cuddle, or even playing a card game or board game together. This got the romance back in our relationship, and we still have rocky, bumpy roads, but most of the ride is smooth. But only you can make the decision to do this, and if it doesnt work, if nothing works, you don't want to be in the marriage and let it get too far.
2006-12-09 08:12:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Differences don’t mean divorce. Communication is the key to any relationship. In order to unlock it, both of you must be willing to speak, openly, and respect others opinions. It is possible to disagree and continue to live in a peaceful home together.
Running from or surrendering your relationship is not the answer to solving your problems. Believe me, I know. Learn to face them and solve them with your partner.
Set some time aside for you and your husband to talk, one on one, without any possibility of interruptions, like a date, and talk candidly and with respect. Both of you should make a list of concerns (cons and pros of your relationship) and your individual solutions for each concern.
Be blessed.
2006-12-09 08:18:30 · answer #5 · answered by Decent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a long weekend off by yourself and think about it. If you felt free and comfortable sleeping alone and when you get back you feel totally different that is a good sign that you need to separate. It will take a bit of looking deep within yourself, but you will discover the answer.
2006-12-09 08:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling. Take a debate class together and learn how to argue constructively. Marriage changes the dynamics of a relationship in inexplicable ways and takes some measure of adjustment. Good luck to you guys and remember to love one another.
2006-12-09 07:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by AnswerGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you dont think you both can work your relationship out to be better than maybe that is what you need to do.Relationships are hard and take a lot of work and time.Sometimes they last and other times they dont.The main thing is for you both to be happy.If you are not happy then why bother trying to keep your marriage together?
2006-12-09 07:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication, you have to keep those lines open, tell him how you feel, that you thinking of filing for divorce, you might find that he wants the same thing or he will start to listen and talk to you more.
2006-12-09 08:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you married too young. if you want to give it a chance then do it, but do some serious soul searching. if you don't see yourself with him for the rest of your life, it's better to file for divorce than force something that wasn't meant to be.
2006-12-09 07:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋