Okay guys.... I'm at the point after five years of fooling around with him and the relationship is getting no where (he's not gonna leave the wifey) and I've had enough. I want to move on with my life because I deserve better. The only problem is I don't call him and haven't been answering his calls either. I'm just trying to end it all without hurting myself or him (who knows). Anyway when I do this, guys always come around to see whats up and show up your door unexpected (this fool will knock, knock, knock till somebody got to answer the d*mn door!!). I mean if I don't answer common sense should tell him don't bother. Should I open the door and tell him to get going or should I not ever answer the door. I don't want to be his puppet mistress anymore. Just recently I got in a car wreck and I thought he was someone to talk to but when I texted him and got no answer, he said " wat was so important! Call 1 time dat's enough". I realized I have been wasting time. Please help me out!
2006-12-09 07:23:46 · 27 answers · asked by msraylanda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell his wife that she needs to put her man on a leash b4 u dont want any pets. and she might want to get him fixed why she is at it. and btw they never leave their wives. why would they u r just a piece to them oh did u think u was more than that..no no no. dont flatter urself. oh does this sound harsh well its true.
2006-12-09 07:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any idea what you have done. Just admit it, you were selfish and only cared about your needs. What about the wife and kids, did you ever factor that into you decision. I hope that this does not happen to you if you ever get married. What is this was your husband and he did that to you and your kids. You seem young and naive but please put yourself in the wives and kids shoes. It would be devastating for them. Where did you think you affair was going to lead to, surely not a happy ending. If I were him I would not have even dumped you over text, I would have cut you without a word. YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS as a Mistress...maybe you should look up a definition of a mistress!
2016-05-22 23:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by Kathryn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife probably knows, she doesn't know who, but I'm sure she knows. I've been there. I had one of his kids and he saw him once. He didn't want to be involved. It's my husband who's on the birth certificate, he knows he's not his, but he wanted to be on it. My whole ordeal lasted maybe 7 months. He quit coming around as I was nearing my c-section and came once after that to who knows, but he say the baby then, and then I quit answering his calls, turned the phone off, and moved. I was in an apartment so moving was no problem. This guy, my kid was his 9th. He was with his wife for 16 years. In that time he had four kids with her, two with someone else, and two more with someone else; she knew about those. She didn't know about me, well, she knew he was doing it she always told him that. I wouldn't like to told her for the simple fact she deserves better. I wasn't friends with her or anything but when I talked to her the few times I did, I realized she wasn't a tyrannical ***** like he said. At first we were in a two apartment place, I lived upstairs and they lived downstairs. Then I moved next door. Then they moved somewhere and shortly after that is when I quit answering calls and moved and didn't tell him where. Not that it would matter, I moved 8 hours away.
2006-12-09 07:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by Aliayh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is really very simple. Do not have any contact with him. Ever. Don't answer the door. Don't answer the phone. Delete any text messages or emails without reading them. And for heaven's sake, do not be the one to initiate contact. It will take a while for him to get the message, and for you to get used to the fact that he isn't in your life and isn't going to be, but stick to the "no contact" rule no matter what. Eventually he'll stop coming around and you'll stop thinking of him as someone to talk to.
Meanwhile, move on with your life and do not get involved with a married man ever again. It's a recipe for disaster every time, no exceptions. Trust me on this one.
2006-12-09 07:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know its hard to cut a relationship that you were in a lon time.
but, hey, as you said, its time to move on. don't open the door if you really mean it and don't call him even if you're dying. that is if you really want to end that. then tell his wife, but first give a fair warning, then do it if he doesn't listen. although it might be disastrous if he has kids. so, use your own judgement.
or else get a restraining order. that'll kick him away so far maybe to the next planet. i know, its a little extreme, but hey if you can't then, you'll just have to be the mistress until one of you dies.
2006-12-09 07:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by emmaj9 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if it was me.
if u love him and can,t imagine ur life without him. then tell him flat out to **** or get off the pot!! simplt just tell him u have waited long enough and give him a certain amount of time, to leave the wifey. if he refuses then flat tell him to hit the bricks buddy! if ur not in love with him, then for gods sake , tell him to go away !! and refuse any contact after you tell him.the facts are , none of us are gettin any younger. and life is too short and precious to waste it not being truly happy and complete and as long as the situation stay,s the way it is that just does,nt seem poss. just my 2 cents, hope all works out good 4 ya,, luck,n smiles
2006-12-09 07:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by chas46135 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By avoiding him you are running away from the problem. You have to confront him. You have to tell him that it's over and that he should move on and let you create a life for yourself ( because what you have had with him is not a life ). He has his family who is there for him and you have nobody there for you. Well, it's time for you to find a single man who will be there for you and not for you and for his wife. This guy is probably tired of you and is moving on to fresher meat. Guys like him will never be loyal to only one woman. Please, for your own good, put an end to it as soon as possible. Good luck.
2006-12-09 07:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by dd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you say you want to get rid of him then you text just to have someone to talk too..stop all communication period. If you are serious and dropping this relationship you really have no business being in because he is married then get a restraining order or if you live in an apartment/condo get a trespassing read to him by the manager/owner. They are both pretty simple to acquire and maybe a hour of your day but if not one of those write a letter to his wife.
2006-12-09 07:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by Octavia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do I have to tell you your 1st mistake was getting involved with a married man in the 1st place? No, I am going to give you credit for being able to learn from your mistakes on your own.
OK enough of my self-indulgent lecturing.
1st of all, I didn't see anywhere in your details that you told him in no uncertain terms that it was over between you, & him.
Most men (myself included) are really slow at getting messages from women that are kept on the hint level. You have to make it clear to him, look him in the eye, & when you draw him the picture as you see it, place your points very close together, & join them up with big, bold, red lines. Then be ready to re-explain some of the finer points to him if he didn't get it right in the 1st place.
When it comes to ending relationships women may need "closure" but men need "clarity".
If he still persists after you have done all that you can to make sure that he understands that you are done with him, then ask him if you need to call on his wife for her help in ending it.
Or maybe the Police. Whatever works best for you.
Cheers!
2006-12-09 07:39:26 · answer #9 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is time to move on. You said it yourself, you're done being his toy and I say good for you!!! Just tell him it's over and you want nothing to do with the situation any longer, because if you don't(or if you don't just cut all ties at once and end it) he will lead you along promising to leave her and yadda yadda yadda to keep having you! It sounds like you have had enough so I would say do it. I hope everything is OK from the accident young lady!
2006-12-09 07:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Batracer04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that you are in the predicament that you are in. Have you threaten to tell his wife if he doesn't leave you alone. Let him know you will get a order of protection against him if he doesn't stop bothering you. I know he doesn't want his wife to know about that. Just continue to ignore him. Don't answer his calls and don't call him. I hope this work. Just to let you know you are going to get a lot of negativity from this.
2006-12-09 07:32:02 · answer #11 · answered by Babygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋