i heve a 15yr old daughter who is pregnat her mother wants her to put the baby up for adoption...?

Question

i want my daughter to keep the baby because we CAN take care of the baby.the father is my daughters boyfriend who has been living with us for almost 2 years hes 17 yrs old. my daughter wants to keep the baby, at do think we should do???

hes been living with us because he was a family friends kid and his parents died and hes been living with us

Answer 1

I guess if you're willing to be supportive and help then maybe keeping it isn't such a bad idea. But thats a lot of hard work for such young kids. I'm 28 now, and I truly can't imagin having a 25 year old kid at this age. The 6 year old is hard enough.

Answer 2

What the hell is Sofia talking about?
I don't think you should put the baby up for adoption if you all CAN take care of this baby, besides this not just any baby this is your GRANDCHILD!! Why in the world the grandmother of this baby want some other family own a precious baby that should belong to your family. So what if your daughter is not old enough and her boyfriend is living with you. You were all responsible for this unborn child to come in existence. Mistakes happen, learn to accept it and be responsible to raise this child.

Answer 3

I think I read your wife's post yesterday. It's untimately up to your daughter because she is the one who got herself into that situation. How will she support the child? Will she be able to finish school? Where will the child be when she's at school?

If you are prepared to care for and basicaly step in and take over for her then that will work, but it may make the child more attached to you vs her and that can cause a lot of emotional issues later in the child's life as well as your child.

So I'd all 4 of you sit down and discuss it when you all feel you can be reasonable.

I don't even want to go into why you would have her 17 yr old boyfriend living with you and basically you bringing this on yourselves by allowing it.....

Answer 4

I was in a VERY similar situation. I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend was living with us a well. Its great to see ur being supportive. She will have a better chance at success with supportive parents. I decided to keep my daughter and finished high school while living at home. I moved out and graduated college as well while supporting my daughter. My parents have always been supportive. Not doing it for me, but helping me along the way. I think ur wife will come around. My parents weren't excited right away, ya know? Now my daughter is 7 and I have a 1 year old as well. Unfortunately I am now a single mother, but with the love of their grandpa, they have a great alternative to the "fatherly" role model everyone needs in their life. Good luck and congrats grandpa!

Answer 5

The decision here is not for your wife to decide - it is that of your daughter and your daughters boyfriend - ultimately they are the parents of this unborn child and they are responsible for bringing this child into this world. If they want to fetch the child up then that is what should happen - you are happy to assist with this which I commend you for - why does your wife feel she has to have her unborn grandchild adopted - does she feel she is too young to be a granparent or frightened that she will be eft holding the baby when it is born? You have to all sit down as a family and discuss this as this affects you all if you are sharing the same house. Explain to your wife that she is the grandparent she has to let her daughter decide what she wants to do afterall she has to live with this not her. Your wife may wish to seek some help from professional bodies just for piece of mind, she has to realise her daughter is old enough to decide her own path in life.
GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

I'll tell you the story that's been recently in our newspaper. A little girl who was put in foster homes since her parents signed their rights away when she was a baby is dead. She had behavioral problems and was sent to a behavioral clinic. At this clinic, she had a tantrum. They restrained her by laying her face down on a cement floor with thin carpet over it. Her legs were held and her upper body was held by the someone laying next to her with their full weight on her. She died of chest compression asphxysia, which means her chest wasn't allowed to rise and fall. She was held down for a half hour until she quit struggling and quit responding, they tried to resucitate her, but she was dead. Charges are now being filed on the man who was holding her top half down and on the clinic because to communicate with the other she had been to where she never had to be restrained. She probably had a normal tantrum probably caused by need for attention. Instead she was what I say was murdered. The point is why would you want your grandchild to go to someone you know nothing about and not know what will happen to her or him. I have one other story, about a girl who was adopted by chuch going people, they never did anything about her emotional state even when they saw warning signs. This girl needed attention very bad. She ended up killing her stepmom by stabbing over 20 times. She doesn't know who she is anymore. I saw this on a show where they tell you about criminal cases. Just because someone is qualified for adoption doesn't mean they're great. The best thing for you to do is to adopt the baby yourselves and still make your daughter take care of it. Maybe she wants to take care of it, but she probably doesn't know how much work it is, let her find out now so she doesn't have a lot more and pawn them off on someone. and if your wife does convince her to give it up for adoption, you can step in and say you want the baby. Once she signs her rights away, any member of the family can contest it and obtain rights to the child, also if the baby's father wants the baby, then he can also step in. I'm not trying to scare you out of adoption, I mean there are some good people who do adopt, but there are some bad ones, you won't know who you're getting. One more tiny story, I had a friend who's parents took in foster children, they had probably 6 kids all at once, my friend, their only real biological child, her room was in the basement, a very dirty basement she only had a bed, a dirty one and a beat up dresser. There were other rooms upstairs. I never questioned her about her life, and she never said anything, it just makes a person wonder how those kind of people slip through the cracks like that.

Answer 7

You've been living with him? Then the mother has absolutely no reason to want her daughter, who lives at her home with her boyfriend, to give the baby for adoption. I'm sure this is what you wanted right? You dont just bring a daughter's boyfriend into your home if you don't think they should act like husband and wife. If she wants to keep the baby she should.
Refer her here for support: http://www.relationship-affairs.com/teenage-pregnancy.html

http://www.relationship-affairs.com/adoption-and-fostering.html

Answer 8

If you both really want to and can take care of the baby and the father is around then you should. Remember it is your daughter's baby and the her mother cannot force her to give the baby away. You can't take a baby away from a good mother.

Answer 9

Well, if you can take care of the baby and since your daughter wants to keep it then i suggest you should because if you have an abortion, adoption, etc, it might ruin your daughter's and baby's life. I would highly suggest your daughter stays in school and keeps up with regular activities because she is just fifteen and she need to experience life with her peers.

Answer 10

This is going to have to be your daughter's decision. Sit down with her and discuss the pros and cons of adoption versus keeping her child. If she wants to keep the baby and she has supportive parents who are willing to help her out when needed (and it sounds like she does) then there is no reason why she can't keep her child. I would encourage her to stay in school and graduate no matter what she does. She will regret it if she drops out of school to raise a child. It is possible to finish school while caring for a child.