i know most will pull me apart for this one! but i want to ask anyway what do you do when you have an addiction? an addiction to men other than my husband of course. it is a deep desire within me! i feel like a starving wild cat at times. for the younger hot men! I have not done anything like fooling around on him in months now! but it all comes back , like a drug addiction. because the hubby is so bad in bed an won't do anything to bring his activity to a better level. so i am asking for serious replys to this question? how can i beat this wild addiction i have?
2006-12-09 06:46:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to him about it, tell him that you have needs and they have to be fulfilled. Discourse is always the best otion. Find out what gets him going and try it. It could very well work.....!!!
If not ....email me!
2006-12-09 06:49:13 · answer #1 · answered by Neil M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can start by stop calling it an addiction. You call it that b/c you think it somehow aleviates you from any responsibility. "Well, it's not my fault, I have an addiction" It's a crutch so get rid of that.
I don't believe you have tried hard enough with your husband. I can't imagine a man (unless there is a medical problem) not being more than willing to work on the bedroom side of things. He needs patience, love, understanding, respect, less criticism and apparently a clue that you have issues.
You only posted this question b/c you want someone to tell it's ok, it's normal. Well, sorry it's dispicable. You are married and if your husband's bad in bed it's b/c he has a bad teacher. You and your marriage should be based on more than just sex.
Considering that you have already fooled around, which just tells me how incredibly selfish you are, perhaps you should cut your husband loose. There's no need to victimize him further. I'm sure that's at least one thing you honestly wanted to hear. Good luck with yourself...although I've always said, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken poop.
2006-12-09 15:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by BrutalBaby 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Assuming this is a serious question, hon. First, divorce your husband -- he deserves someone better than you.. You don't want to be married, anyway.... marriage is Respect, Admiration Passion, and Trust, with a whole lot of lovies, consideration, mutual time spent together, conversation, and agreement on how time and money should be spent, yadyayadayadyady. All you want of it the passion part, and you say he is unwilling or incabable of changing and sex only , has nothing to do with an intact marriage. So, first, get out of the marriage.
Secondly, realize as well, that as with any addiction, (whether it is with alcohol, computer porn or sex) there is no room for a relationship -- you already have a relationship -- with sex-- and there is no time nor room for a husband: a second reason to set him free.
There are all sorts of swinging places, guys, advertisements, for people who like just sex -- on the web, in newspapers etc.,.....sex with two, sex with three, sex with dozens, and that is where you should be, not trying to make a marriage work. There is noting wrong with this life style, as long as it is done descretely, and you do not mind the risk of various STDS's some of which can be quite nasty, and one which is not curable.... sex is obviously your "raison d'etre", and your marriage is not. This, then is really a no-brainer.... you husband will not /cannot meet your fantasy, so bow out, hon... easy. You will both be happier....
2006-12-09 15:06:14 · answer #3 · answered by ladyren 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear whoever I to me if you have addiction for other men and not your husband than you and your husband must not really love each other people who love and are married do not have a crave for other men so maybe you should get your husband a surprise sex night like when he comes home from work meet him at the door with serum wrap on and when he goes to the bathroom to get ready put on whip cream and just look appealing. Do this once or twice a week for about two weeks if you still crave other men then maybe you two do not belong together.
2006-12-09 14:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by princess_bee_2006 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's also called lust. You don't mention your age. There are so many things that could be going on, how would one start. Have you been to marital counseling? How about counseling for you? Does your spouse know of your infidelity? Have you considered divorce? Does he have a medical or drug problem? Do you masturbate? Some married women report masturbating 2-3x week along with having sex with their spouses. Are you protecting yourself from STDs.
2006-12-09 14:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by CincinnatiDon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not picturise these other men whenever your husband is making love to you.That way u can enjoy the sex and it would be as if you are making love with the other young men you like.
However you need a powerful sense of picturisation and concentration to achieve that.
2006-12-09 15:24:21 · answer #6 · answered by oshagold 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's one you would have to email me for...sex addictions are harder to break than ones like smoking or drinking because it starts in you head...the others require an outside action...sex starts in the brain...
2006-12-09 14:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by Mikey ~ The Defender of Myrth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are a nymphomaniac? A person who can't get enough sex. Or---maybe you need to bring the excitement into the bedroom and work with him instead of against him.
2006-12-09 14:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
See a therapist!
2006-12-09 14:48:24 · answer #9 · answered by Mark B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious you could benefit from therapy.
2006-12-09 14:49:54 · answer #10 · answered by Toni E 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋