I'm german and I have to do a school project on english in geography. Would you please check, if this is good english:
The Völklinger Hütte belongs to the Saarstahl AG in Völklingen, Burbach and Neunkirchen. Today it is called Saarstahl Völklingen and has 3,700 workers in Völklingen. It is the biggest employer in this area. These are the affiliated companies of Saarstahl: steelwork in Völklingen-Fenne, wire-production in Luisenthal, St. Ingbert, and Köln. Saarstahl has the biggest wire-production in Europe. But the Völklinger Hütte doesn’t just produce steel, it also produces formsteel and tools. These things will be produced in a big rolling mill, which has a length of 1km. The rolling mill is in Völklingen Nauweilergewann. The Völklinger Hütte is famous for its smithpieces, which reach the maximum weight of 400 tons, they will manufacture and produce in Saarforge Völklingen. To this produce pollet belong axle-drive shafts for big oceanships, turbinwaves and pieces for macheniry, automobile industry and atom industry. The Saarstahlforges have one of the modernst and biggest smithpress in the world with a presspower of 8,500 tons. The steel for these smithpieces are smelted in a 100 tons electric store. In this electric store is also world-famous high-grade steel produced. There are no furnaces in the Völklinger Hütte anymore. Therefore the pig iron was delivered from the “Rogesa” in Dillingen. The “Rogesa” (Roheisengesellschaft Saar) is a joint venture of the Dillinger Hütte and Saarstahl. They supply the pig iron in liquid conditon. During the transport the temperature of the liquid pig iron is 1,400 degrees celsius. In this special railway carriage 80 tons liquid iron can be transported. The Völklinger Hütte has a share with the “Zentral Kokerei Saar” (ZKS) in Dillingen.
2006-12-09 06:40:14 · 20 answers · asked by Retterin 3 in Science & Mathematics ➔ Geography
Thank to all, who can help me with that.
2006-12-09 07:19:15 · update #1
I corrected it and I wondered, if there still mistakes:
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmWePpnZz9IfMYAU0HC6dSAgBgx.?qid=20061209150048AAguDNW
2006-12-09 10:05:49 · update #2
"These are the affiliated companies of Saarstahl:" The list following does not list companies, but activities.
"formsteel " not an English word
"will be produced" should be "are produced"
"smithpieces" not an English word
"the maximum weight" should be "a maximum weight"
"they will manufacture and produce in Saarforge Völklingen" You don't say WHAT they will manufacture and produce there
"To this produce pollet belong axle-drive shafts for big oceanships, turbinwaves and pieces for macheniry, automobile industry and atom industry."
This is very difficult to understand
- "produce" should probably be "production"
- "pollet" is not an English word
"axle-drive" should be "axle driven" or "axle-driven"
"oceanships" is not an English word. Perhaps "ocean-going ships"?
"turbinwaves" is not an English word
"macheniry" should be "machinery"
You need to say "the" automobile industry and "the" atom industry
"atom industry" doesn't sound right - perhaps "nuclear industries"?
"modernst" should be "most modern"
"smithpress" not an English word. The context demands a plural
"smithpieces" not an English word
"In this electric store is also world-famous high-grade steel produced"" You must say "In this electric store THE world famous high grade steel IS ALSO PRODUCED". We would not usually use hyphens here.
"anymore" This is two words in English. "any longer" might be better.
"During the transport" We would say "during transport".
"80 tons liquid iron" should be "eighty tons of liquid iron"
"has a share with" I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean. Maybe, "a share in"?
2006-12-09 07:02:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm german and I have to do a school project on english in geography. Would you please check, if this is good english:
The Völklinger Hütte belongs to the Saarstahl AG in Völklingen, Burbach and Neunkirchen.
Today it is called Saarstahl Völklingen and has 3,700 workers in Völklingen it is the biggest employer in this area. These are the affiliated companies of Saarstahl: steelwork in Völklingen-Fenne, wire-production in Luisenthal, St. Ingbert, and Köln. Saarstahl has the biggest wire-production in Europe The Völklinger Hütte doesn’t just produce steel, it also produces formsteel and tools. These things will be produced in a big rolling mill which has a length of 1km. The rolling mill is in Völklingen Nauweilergewann. The Völklinger Hütte is famous for its smithpieces, which reach the maximum weight of 400 tons, they will manufacture and produce in Saarforge Völklingen. To this produce pollet belong axle-drive shafts for big oceanships, turbinwaves and pieces for macheniry, automobile industry and atom industry.
The Saarstahlforges have one of the modernst and biggest smithpress in the world with a presspower of 8,500 tons. The steel for these smithpieces are smelted in a 100 tons electric store. In this electric store is also world-famous high-grade steel produced. There are no furnaces in the Völklinger Hütte anymore, therefore, the pig iron was delivered from the “Rogesa” in Dillingen. The “Rogesa” (Roheisengesellschaft Saar) is a joint venture of the Dillinger Hütte and Saarstahl. They supply the pig iron in liquid conditon. During the transport the temperature of the liquid pig iron is 1,400 degrees celsius. In this special railway carriage 80 tons liquid iron can be transported. The Völklinger Hütte has a share with the “Zentral Kokerei Saar” (ZKS) in Dillingen.
2006-12-09 06:46:17 · answer #2 · answered by stone 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Very good English! Better than 99% of the English-speaking kids I see on the Net who don't even bother with capitalization and punctuation. I wonder what they are going to do when they have to get a job. Oh, well, McDonald's has pictures of the food on the cash register button so they don't even have to read or count.
English should be capitalized You had a run-on sentence:
The Völklinger Hütte is famous for its smithpieces, which reach the maximum weight of 400 tons, they will manufacture and produce in Saarforge Völklingen.
I would remove the comma after tons and change the next words to "and are manufactured and produced".
I don't think that "wire production" should have a hyphen.
And "have one of the modernst and biggest smithpress" should probably be "have one of the biggest and most modern smithpresses"
Oh, and I see both "smithpieces" and "smithpresses" mentioned. Is that correct?
Excellent work all in all. Better than my German, that's for sure.
2006-12-09 07:05:17 · answer #3 · answered by Asleep at the wheel 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are a number of mistakes especially in the translation of the specialist terms. For Example"To this produce pollet belong axle-drive shafts " I think should read " They roll billets used for propeller shafts in ocean going ships, drive shafts for turbines" the rest I do not understand what you are trying to say!
As another person has said try making the article easier to read by breaking it up into paragraphs relating to each factories production.
Use a specialist English Dictionary for some of the terms as we do not use "smithpieces" and I assume you mean a Powerpress producing a force of 8,500 tonnes (metric!) and not a smithpress etc
I hope that all helps at least a bit.
2006-12-09 08:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is absolutely perfect, except you should have a Full Stop after '400 tons' not an apostrophe. Apart from that I understood exactly what it is all about.
Hey.... I don't think you are German which is a proper noun and should be capitalised. You spelt it 'german'.And another thing, if you were German you would use the 'tonne' word. Imagine trying to fool us Irish, it's enough to put me off Skol and stick to the Guinness. Maybe Skol is not German --- but dam it, it's close enough.
2006-12-09 06:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by The Shadow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
English is written in paragraphs.
The town is called Cologne in English.
Saarstahlforges should be translated.
The English words are spelled .....turbinE, steel workS, , atomIC
smithpieces? - what are they? produce pollet? - what's that?
Metric tonnes (1000kg) are not equal to tons (2240 lbs).
Smelting is done in a furnace.
An English reader can tell you are writing about the German steel industry, listing a massive number of proper names. It is a pointless exercise, given your limited vocabulary.
You will learn the appropriate vocabulary if you read an English book about the steel industry
2006-12-09 07:41:42 · answer #6 · answered by rosie recipe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's better English than most of the questions we get here!
In "Luisenthal, St. Ingbert, and Köln" you don't need the comma before the '"and", otherwise the punctuation is good as far as I can tell.
You've concatenated a lot of words like "formsteel", "smithpieces" and "presspower". Maybe these are words used in industry, but they don't look right to me.
I assume "modernst" should be "modernest" and there's a few spelling mistakes. Whiz it through a spell checked to sort them out.
Much better than my German.
2006-12-09 06:55:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mad Professor 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's great! the only thing I would work on is this part:
But the Völklinger Hütte doesn’t just produce steel, it also produces formsteel and tools. These things will be produced in a big rolling mill, which has a length of 1km. The rolling mill is in Völklingen Nauweilergewann.
IT should be along the lines of, "along with producing steel, the Volklinger Hutte also produces formsteel and tools, which are produced in a large rolling mill. This mill has a length of 1km, and is located in Volklingen Nauweilergewann."
:D
2006-12-09 06:44:27 · answer #8 · answered by Gia 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
it need paragraphs its too long to take it all in at once when slightly changing the subject use a new paragraph ie line 9 but the volklingen- fenne start a new paragraph here and remove the but hope this helps
2006-12-09 06:44:58 · answer #9 · answered by julie t 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok, i few things i noticed. not sure what you meant by produce pollet i assume you would mean production area, atomic instead of atom, and most modern is correct instead of modernest.
hope this helps
of yeah, the electric store i assume you meant stove
2006-12-09 06:53:35 · answer #10 · answered by randini692000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋