since i was 15 i had a strong feeling i could be gay. but back then i denied it, i would date guys because i felt as tho if i didnt id give away my secret. but my attraction towards girls was very strong and still is strong today. im 20 now and im happy with myself being gay, the only people that know are my close friends but not my family. i dont want to tell my sister because shes not ready for that, shes only 14. i want to tell my family but i feel better coming out to my parents close friends to see there reaction first. theres so many things i want to say to them, but half of me wants to tell them when i finish college and have a place of my own. my gf's parents know about us and are total fine with it, its just not everyone is going to be the same...i dont need hate comments or more quotes from the bible because i dont really care to hear it. in away i think my parents know but im not sure...maybe there waiting for me to come out instead of them coming to me.
2006-12-09 06:39:10 · 20 answers · asked by orange_crush_05 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
my sister isnt very mature thats why i dont want to tell her just yet
2006-12-09 07:45:43 · update #1
Say:
"Mom, dad . . . I'm gay."
Pray for the best.
I'll pray for you.
2006-12-09 06:41:07 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Your 20 and are you sure you are gay? I'm 71, not gay but through out the years I know of many cases where a person finds out they are not really gay after all and have to retract the fact. Just be sure it isn't easier and less complicated at your age to be gay.
Think seriously about it. Give it some quiet thought.
I'm a parent/mom and I would want you to be honest with me. I would be hurt but worse things could happen. They will get over it. You should by all means tell them face to face. Don't hide behind an e-mail, phone or letter. Too much weight to carry around. Good luck gal.
2006-12-09 06:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by DeeJay 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel comfortable in doing it, then do it. But it's not a big deal, because being gay is not a disease or a condition or something to cope with. You are who you are, and it's not a matter of informing your parents of something bad. It's a matter of just telling them a part of who you are. Everyone makes a big deal out of coming out, but in the end we are all just people. Gay, straight, black, white, blue eyes, green eyes, whatever. Some straight people (especially parents) say they need time to cope with it. There is nothing to cope with! Tell them you are still the same person. I don't see gay people telling straight people they need time to cope with the fact that they are straight. If they have a problem with it, then they have a discrimination problem. I know it's a hard step to take because you don't want to be judged or hated or anything.. but the people who are worth loving will love you for everything you are.
2006-12-09 07:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by Celestite 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, because you're still young. Wait it out a couple more years and see if you still feel the same OR tell them that you THINK your gay and why if you really want to tell them about how you're currently feeling. But I still advise waiting it out a little while longer.
2016-05-22 23:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is 14 and you think she is too young? Thats kinda funny considering that most studies have shown that kids are perfectly fine with gay people, but it gets harder to tell them the older they get. I'm not ragging on you for not telling her sooner, just pointing out that your line of thinking is deepy flawed and actually completely backwards. I would tell her soon before she gets too old! It is much harder for a teenager to deal with gayness then a pre-teen or a child. If she is having trouble, consider buying her a book like "Geography Club"... it is a YA fiction about gay teens staring their own secret club. She might find it easier to understand fictional characters and then ease her into it.
One of the things I found really helpful when I was coming out to my parents was this list:
http://www.joekort.com/articles60.htm
Also, I dropped a lot of hints to my parents before I told them. I talked openly about my lesbian friend or my gay roommate. I mentioned going to gay bars and protests. I had a pride button on my backpack. By the time I told them I was gay, no one was suprised. And that gave them a lot time to think through it on their own, discuss it with others, and come to terms with it. By the time I dropped the bomb, the response was "finally!".
2006-12-09 10:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, they don't know yet?
Your gf has been posting on here for months!
The only way is to take a deep breath and tell them - if they react badly initially, then you will just have t accept that.
14 is old enough for her to know her sister is gay - you knew when you were 15
.
2006-12-09 07:35:56 · answer #6 · answered by MrsTrellis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your parents had you, they promised to love you no matter what. This is no different. You need to sit down with your parents and tell them. When your having dinner together will help. If become really sick and mad at you, there is nothing you can do. It takes time for your parents to accept the fact you have feeling for people of the same gender.
2006-12-09 08:43:32 · answer #7 · answered by tashawashere816 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I assume being 20 you're no longer reliant on your parents for housing, that's a good start.
Tell them when they're in a good mood and just get it out with. And my sister knew when she was 14, she knew before my parents.
And perhaps have some material targeted at helping parents cope with having gay kids if you think they'll need it, stuff such as debunking common myths.
2006-12-09 06:56:31 · answer #8 · answered by Modern Jesus 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell them when you are prepared to be no longer dependent on them financially or emotionally. Try not come out at Christmas dinner in front of extended family or at any other emotionally charged moment. And give them time to process this, remember that it took you time to process it too. Keep in mind that they are only human, not the superheros you thought they were to you when you were four years old. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-09 07:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by Daniel J 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How about you talk to your parents to see if they have a problem with gay men or women,if they don't then gradually keep the topic going and then slip it in the conversation that you're gay and see what happens.
2006-12-09 07:06:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're not sure how they will react to it, I would advice you to wait till you finish college and have a place of your own. Not many parents are accepting and so you have to be ready and able to stand on your own if they refuse to accept it or block you.
2006-12-12 10:12:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋