How do i talk to my dad?

Question

My sister came out of the closet five months ago and my father basically disowned her. she is 17 and she couldnt bare living there. my father is a christian! what to do? she moved out and that was that.

Answer 1

At this point it is time to remind him that Jesus came to save all the sinners including the ones that he considers to be the most abhorrent. The story of the prodigal son is as much about the father's response to the wayward son as it as about the child coming home.

Of course you should let him know that you support your sister, but also still love him and feel like this has put a wedge between the two of you.

I hope that things will work out for you and your sister.

Answer 2

How do you feel about her coming out? Even though her father may be a christian that does not mean he has a right to judge her.
He also as a christian must be able to forgive.
when Jesus came upon a mob ready to stone a harlot to death he asked ,who amoung you is with out sin, let him cast the first stone. None could answer and they dropped their stones. Jesus then said to the woman. Neither do I condem thee go and sin no more.
too often people who say they are christians have plenty buried in the bottom of the closet and tend to forget that. all need to be able to forgive, no wonder this world is so messed up.
I'm not even really a christian and i dont believe i jsut wrote all this to you.
As for you and your sister, that does not mean that you should no longer be sisters if you understand her lifestyle and can overlook regardless if it is right or wrong. SHe is yur sister.

Dad will have to get over it. The day will come that perhaps dad will regret his actions.

Answer 3

your father will hopefully confront this great crisis of his life - the conflict between the substance and the form of his beliefs.

If, by being a Christian, your father means he is someone who models himself on Christ's walk and teachings, then your father must treat his daughter like the good samaritan acted towards his 'enemy.'

Don't use the story about those without sin throwing the first stone - there is no doubt in any biblical scholars mind that that story is not about christ. there is zero record of this story anywhere until a recopying of the gospel is made after 400 a.d. (best reason of all to just toss all that religious garbage. it's not really what people think it is.)

It would be useful to ponder that Jesus essentially overthrew all old Jewish law, which is where the anti-gay stuff comes from, and said the two things to do are love god and love your neighbor as you wish to be loved. it would also be smart to look at the fact that the old hebrew verses that appear to condemn homosexuality (there is some debate on that, because, after all, it's not written in english) also are verses which condemn eating shrimp and wearing at the same time two fabrics. the very same language about abomination is used for lies.

Christ said that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. That is, the man who rejects his own daughter - and his own underage baby daughter at that! - has come far short of the glory of God.

How on earth any Christian teacher could square this pronouncement of Jesus's - as well as several others - with a rejection of people who are gay is utterly beyond any thinking perosn. But, your father is not thinking. He is probably not really a Chrstian who follows Christ, he's a 'christian' who follows the teachings of a specific sect. And, he's acting the way he's been brainwashed to act since he was a child.

Since homosexuality appears to have a genetic component, it is even possible that your father is actually gay. This self-loathing certainly accounts for lots of nasty behavior from people who supposedly follow a god of love and peace.

So, rejecting your father as a jerk is not going to help move him from his fear and brainwashing.

You must always stand up for your sister and always choose her if your father ever makes you choose. He shouldn't make you choose. That's someone so weak in his beliefs he must bully anyone he can into them. But, you must also keep trying to reach him.

To begin a conversation, you might tell him you are hurting really bad and you think he is too. or you might tell him you need advice understanding something. Read him the part about all sinning and coming short of the glory of God and ask him how this means your sister should be treated worse than anyone else. Read the part where Jesus says any fool can love their friends, but that a christian must love his enemies if he is to be worthy of that name.

The problem is, he will probably shut you down. If he ran her off rather than dealing with it, he'll do that to you.

Bottom line will have to be that you tell him you believe he is wrong, that you support your sister, that you believe christ would too - as is obvious from christ's own actions - and that you will pray he comes to be healed by the lord's forgiveness.

If you can find a P-Flag in your community, volunteers with experience should be able to help you. If nothing else, point out to him that Cheney said he's enthusiastically awaiting the birth of his 6th grandchild, who will be born to his lesbian daughter Mary and her wife of nearly 2 decades.

Answer 4

Christian or not is not the issue here. Your dad, has his own issues. He didn't think, He reacted to the news. and he may stay there for a while. Why? more reasons than one might think. He could be blaming himself. questioning him as a parent and a man. That's gonna take a while. She should have tough it out. She should be there to answer his insecurities they both need to do this for each other, no one else can do this or make it right. Its only between the two them. He looking for an answer an understanding on she can give. Its easier to just walk away and blame. But it will never be resolved. It needs to be
It wont be easily and it will get ugly at times, but it will be OK, your sister needs to be stronger right now.Not dealing with it head on, I don't mean in your FACE DAD kind of thing. I mean, showing dad , she is still his daughter.

Answer 5

Your already on the right approach.......I don't know how old you are but obviously sound more mature regarding today's lifestyles and issues with youths!!!! Regardless of your fathers "christian beliefs" he has to be told of his callousness towards your sister and reminded that tragedies happen too often and fast! I try to remember this as I have lost many of family members young and old where my last conversations with them stick in my mind so I try to leave inevitably on a positive note. I do wish to commend you in not only noticing that your father is wrong and caring about your sisters placement within the family.

Answer 6

Not a lot of families get along if it was to be like that a the world would be a better place. The thing with your father he just has needs to let all0 that go, it's not her fault and it's not his things just has to change.
we can't be pointing fingers.

Answer 7

if you are saying that you also want to come out of the closet to your father... well... you just tell him. if you're concerned that he's going to disown you, too... well... you have two choices. you can tell him or you can not tell him. it's a shame that your christian father is unforgiving of his own flesh and blood.

Answer 8

well you confront him that what happend to me my brother came out ther closet to and my father kick him out the house and eveything but what i did i put both of them in the house together and talk about that my father still have some feeling but my father still love my brother with all his heart so that what you should do confront him and tell him how you and your sister feels and tell him that both of you are his blood

Answer 9

It sounds like your sister took care of the situation already by moving out.

Answer 10

You can't change your dads beliefs, unfortunately. Just be there for your sister. Stay close to her. She must really be hurting. Hopefully he'll change his mind. Good Luck.