house my husband moved into with another woman and her 3 kids? He left us few months back and only to realize he was cheating on me and lied about why he moved out. My kids are 12 & 17 and they are uncomfortable talking on the phone to him and when he comes here to see them or pick them up for dinner or what not, it is unbearable for me. I'm still very hurt and don't understand how anyone could do this and not wanting to try just once for a chance to save marriage. My kids don't say much but you can tell it bothers them yo know their dad is with a different family and not with them. We are currently still married and it kills me to know that he is paying for living expenses at that house with still our joint money, just because it is his paycheck it is still community property. I still give him the majority of the bills at home and he gets upset. I told him my kids will never gop to that house as long as he is living there with the woman he cheated with and tore apart our family.
2006-12-09 06:20:44 · 12 answers · asked by Octavia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok wait, I never discuss finances or show emotion to my kids. They love dad and he loves them. They are not comfortable with dads choice where to live and their dad has not even asked for them to go over there. I let him see the kids whenever, its an open door and always will. All of his things except clothes are still here so he is in a house with nothing of his so our home is unchanged and kids don't want me to remove pictures etc. as hard as it is for me I have not changed anything. Kids are my #1 and always will come 1st in my lifetime. I tell ex that kids won't go to that house I don't say it to my kids. I said to ex that he made the decision to leave and the decision to shack up with a woman who is also married with 3 kids of her own and 3 step kids. Idioits
2006-12-09 06:35:19 · update #1
Your feelings are definitely understandable. Unfortunately they are his children also, so he has a right to see them. Once they become adults they will have to decide for themselves whether they want to continue to have a relationship with him.
2006-12-09 06:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by asreid14 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wrong. Kids adapt to change much easier than adults. If the parents do not inflict their own feelings onto their kids, they would be much better off. Divorce is painful all the way around. My kids were 4 and 5 when I got divorced. About a year later my x met someone and married shortly after that. Be happy that your x wants to take them for a visit. They need their dad as much as their mom, for both parents play an important role in their life. It was like pulling teeth to get my x to take the kids for a weekend. My 19 year old son would not have struggled so much if his dad was in the picture more when he was younger. Your pain will get easier, and go away eventually. Be careful not to bring your pain into your kids lives.
2006-12-09 06:54:01 · answer #2 · answered by tootsie38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT wrong. I READ what you said and understand that you do allow them to see their dad but you prefer (as they do) that they not go to his house with his shackup relationship who also is a lowlife who left her husband, and the father of 3 of her children, and even stepchildren. I wouldn't want my children to be around her either. It's bad enough that their father is an adulterous cheater. You, the wife, isn't the only one who got cheated on, the children get cheated on too. And people who say children are resilient and get over it are really uneducated because look at the problems many of them encounter growing up without a dad in the home to be there on a daily basis to oversee, guide and protect.
I wouldn't want them to go to a shackup situation either or even be around that kind of people of such low moral character, hardly decent role models.
2006-12-09 07:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely within your rights not to want your children to be around your husband's mistress and her children. While her children aren't at fault any more than yours are. SHE definitely IS.
File for a divorce and make sure you hit his wallet with child support and alimony. It is unfortunate he didn't even try with you but the sooner you get rid of him the sooner you and your children can try to get back to a normal life. Why should you and your kids have to suffer because he is trying to budget to include another family. Your kids are a priority and I am sure that a judge will see it as such. Good Luck.
2006-12-09 07:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like this: "Sweetheart, I only had a threesome with your mom and Grandma" this can sufficiently marvel her. then you you need to assert "only kidding honey, what sort of a guy do you imagine i'm....! Harrumph!!! by how I do have a spouse and a couple of toddlers". She'll be so relieved that you probably did no longer have a bone consultation which includes her mom and grammy, each and every thing will be forgiven. wish this helped.
2016-11-25 01:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by obyrne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your kids may be uncomfortable in the environment your ex has entered into, but he's still their father and you cannot deny him the right to see them or their visitation with him. do NOT let your bitterness against this man interfere with his relationship with his children. they are not solely yours to control. and they're certainly not for you to use as pawns.
are your children uncomfortable because they've heard you and your husband arguing and your accusations and trash talking? obviously they're old enough to know what's going on and yeah, it is uncomfortable but you and your husband both need to be adult about this and talk to them. if you don't think you can do that, you all could benefit from counseling.
good luck.
2006-12-09 06:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wrong.
You are entitled to your hurt feelings, but your kids need their dad, too. You need to hide any bitterness and do what is best for the kids right now, and that includes seeing their father.
Deal with the financial stuff in court but don't discuss it with your kids.
2006-12-09 06:23:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you were right but dont push your kids off on him if they dont want to go with him maybe they dont like him for the same reason he is a jerk but you dont want him back he aint gonna never stop cheating do your research and go get a lawyer he owes you and make sure he PAYS!!!
2006-12-09 06:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have kids my self and I think after they get so old they should be able to make the choose their selves of whether they want to go to their fathers or not.
2006-12-09 06:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by pamela 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah , it is wrong .. and its really up to your kids if they want to go or not .. if I were you i'd leave it up too the kids their old enough to make their own choice. ... I would also file for divorce too ...
2006-12-09 06:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by common sense 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋