i have had 2 section and although slim on my bottom half, i am pretty much a big gal on the top and that includeds my apron belly that just hangs there. I dont let him get to close in bed, i mean by that i try to hide as much as possible with a shirt im still wearing ect. He like me and even said he thinks he has fallen for me. He said it does not matter like thay do about my stomach as i have great personality and a cute face. But this is something i cannot relax about and he said it will all come in time, but i feel so ashamed and before anyone says diet or loose weight, you cant get rid of your stomach when you have had sections as your stimach muscles have gone, yes u can loose weight actually but it looks worse when u have as you just left with a mass of deflated yukky skin. If i could afford surgery i would but i cant.
i have every confidence in making love, sex, its just my really fat area around the tum and pubic area that is so fatty. How do i deal with this?
2006-12-09 06:09:22 · 23 answers · asked by ANGEL OF THE NORTH UK 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Men look at us differently than we do ourselves.
One reason is that he did not know the other you. He sees you as a whole package, the woman he has fallen for and that includes your belly.
In Shirley Valentine, Costas kissed the stretch marks and said they were beautiful and she did not believe him, but to a man this was true, because it is a "man thing."
Go for it girl
.
2006-12-12 23:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with life and the people in your life is to deal with yourself first. The way you feel about yourself sends a big message to others people as to how they should treat you. If you feel confident and act confident, then consequently other people will respect you for it and see you in a different light. True confidence is unconditional, it is to hold your head high even through times at which you feel you have little or no cause to be confident.
There are ways to boost your confidence by altering your physique, but to truly solve a problem you need to get to the root of it and not merely to the surface of it. In your case, although there is a physical element, the real issue seems to be somewhat psychological. You have got yourself a nice fella who has made it clear that he wants you the way you are. Aside from the fact that he seems to be happy already, it is a real shame to let low self-esteem on your part ruin it for you.
At the end of the day, every individual is unique, special and beautiful in their own way and the way he feels about you goes to prove that there is something about you which stands out, even though it may not be apparent to yourself. Beauty is not something to be measured, it means something different to each and every one of us. If you accept yourself and your partner accepts you, then the rest of the world stands far from relevant.
The whole point is that psychological confidence can last you a lifetime, whereas physical confidence is only a temporary satisfaction. If you feel confident no matter what, you will be happy no matter what. If you only feel confident as a result of your outlook then you are bound to face regular disappointment because a person's physique will undergo changes throughout life so there will always be a reason to want to make changes to it, but your mind will never let you down.
The best way is to be proud of who you are and grateful for what you have.
2006-12-10 10:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot afford a tummy tuck, then you just have to learn to be more accepting of your body. As you said, surgery is the only way to get rid of that extra skin, so if you cannot have it removed, the alternative is learn to accept it (you don't have to love it, but don't be embarrassed by it).
Hopefully a time will come when you can have it removed, if you choose to. I've had 2 friends that went through that and the positive effect on their self esteem was quite high.
It's part of who you are...you can't change it, so don't be embarrassed by it...anyone worth having in your life will dig you even with some extra skin...it may not be pretty to look at, but there are ways to disguise or ignore it and of course when you are clothed, its not much of an issue.
Take care of you and have a positive attitude...confidence is very appealing!
2006-12-09 14:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel and I used to be the same way. When I first met my fiance I was self conscious about my weight, but he made it clear he was interested in my heart. I didn't believe him at first, but i soon came to realize I had nothing to worry about. There are people who look past the exterior to what is more important and that is what's inside a person's heart. Don't allow this to become a hindrance between you two. Sit and talk with him about how you truly feel and then let the matter go. Enjoy the fact you have a wonderful guy and i wish you both the best of luck.
2006-12-09 14:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by softlyinspired 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on! You have a great guy who is crazy about you and ready to accept you just the way you are! That's all life is about because trust me, it doesn't get any better than this! If he has fallen for you then obviously, you're a beautiful person, both inside and out. Let go of your fears and you'll see that everything will workout!
2006-12-09 16:52:29 · answer #5 · answered by sugar_deee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saying you can't lose weight or it will look ugly or that you can't do some sit-ups is a cop-out and you're kidding yourself. Make a rule to do sit-ups before you take a shower EVERY TIME. Also, drink more water and flush some of that fat out. Otherwise, get over it. He knew you were fat when he started dating you. I have to say,, though, if by "sections" you mean c-sections, as in when you had a kid (or two?) maybe you should raise your kids first and then worry about dating.
2006-12-09 14:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by JenasaurusX 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I felt the same way when my fiance and I first met. Your boyfriend is right. The comfort factor does just come with time. Now we both walk around the house naked, take showers together, etc.. For now though, just explain to him that you would rather keep your shirt on or the lights off and you'll let him know when you feel comfortable. If he loves you, he'll understand that it's not about him, but about you and your feelings.
2006-12-09 14:14:20 · answer #7 · answered by Akyaas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like u need to accept urself ur boyfriend has aready accepted u he love u for u dnt b ashamed be urself and b happy when it comes to the time to make love or ur jus in bed lying next to each other think bout him and u not ur body because hes no thinking about that i had the same problem as u i got over it quick because i realise its more than my body and he likes me 4 me jus b happy and grateful for him i noe it bothers u but it dosent bother him so y shuld u care!....think bout it its ganna make sense
2006-12-09 15:10:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about this he loves you he will love you for you the muscles in your stomach has been cut plus you have scar tissues insede once youve been cut theres nothing that can be done about it if you get the fatty tissues and the scar tissue trimmed out then it will be another scar thats going to be there
2006-12-09 14:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by whoa_girl41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am embrassed about my belly too as i am bigger than i used to be, and flabby and i have a large brests, which hang down a bit, anyway, he don,t mind he says i am loveley, you need to like yourself more. If you do you will pay less attention to these things, You are beautiful. God made you and you are special. same as me. taek care Denise.
2006-12-09 14:14:07 · answer #10 · answered by denise g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋